I Can't Take This Feeling Anymore...

[Jeffrey Visser]

all my life i tried to be a well loved person care too much what people say and doing my best at work. Now i get fired for the 5th time because im not focussing on my work but only on myself. everyday i wake up with the feeling how much of a loser i am and if its just not better to give up...

does anybody knows the feeling how hard you try to succeed the more reality strikes back at you and put you right back on your place where you belong... in a sewer..

i have no idea how to fix this anymore i have been walking for so much months in the mental hospital with proffesionals in this kind of stuff but it al seems to not work on me...

now that i was released to go back to work a few months back the feeling comes back again and now that i get fired the need to give up is pretty big...

i have no self respect, i am hopeless, i have so much stress in my head and body and the only way to end that is too end myself..

the only thing that i havent done it yet is my family. but if i keep going on like this i fear the most...

any help/tips whatsoever will be appreciated


ps sorry for my english is not my main language.

 

[ms spock]

So sorry to read you are having such a hard time of it @Jeffrey Visser. I can relate to the feelings that you are talking about in your post. I, too, have felt like a loser, and wondered if it was better to give up for long periods of time.

 

[gealach]

You are not a loser, and you don't belong in a sewer. Don't give in to hopelessness, keep seeking help & therapy. You have support here. :hug:

 

[Toadette]

:hug: if you accept them

 

[Jeffrey Visser]

So sorry to read you are having such a hard time of it @Jeffrey Visser. I can relate...

thank you all i just have no idea anymore what to do i have tried to seek help and probably if i get fired i will go back to the mental hospital and it all will start over again and again and again... just like last time at this moment i just feel hopeless...

 

[ms spock]

Feeling hopeless is really rough going @Jeffrey Visser. I was stuck there for many years.

 

[Jeffrey Visser]

:hug: if you accept them

i do accept them thank you :hug:

 

[Jeffrey Visser]

Feeling hopeless is really rough going @Jeffrey Visser. I was stuck there for many y...

how did u get trough it cause i have no idea anymore...

 

[ms spock]

I do a lot of things each day to work on myself @Jeffrey Visser. (It took a couple of decades to find stuff that worked for me).

I have a psychiatrist well versed in trauma.

I learnt a lot from being on this forum - reading, contributing, participating in challenges and chatting to people. I started threads. I asked questions, like you have just done. I hung around a lot.

Here are a resources that I use:

David Burns "Feeling Good" - busts distorted cognitions - I have read that one a few times now. (free talks on youtube)

"The Mindful Way Through Depression" - listened to that audiobook again and again. (you can listen to the talks for free on youtube)

Self-Compassion (started on this one minute per day) free downloads of the practices

Instant Mindfulness (started with the Radical Acceptance one - it worked for me)

DBT Self Help (read this one a fair bit)

Mindfulness - there is a lot of free stuff out there Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World

The Mindful Way Through Anxiety was really helpful as well.

 

[Jeffrey Visser]

I do a lot of things each day to work on myself @Jeffrey Visser. (It took a couple o...

thank you for the suggestions i will take a look at it!

 

[ms spock]

We each have to find out what works for us @Jeffrey Visser - there are a lot of people working really hard on themselves on this forum - so read around and see what might work for you. Then apply yourself and repeat and repeat and repeat and then practice and practice and practice. Good luck!

 

[AlohaDreaming]

Don't worry about English not being your first language. :) I understood you loud and clear. I've had a lot of issues keeping jobs in my life time, because I get so focused on my healing, that everything else fades away. I had to learn balance, or work eats me alive, and then my PTSD makes me non functional due to all the stress. I've had to learn to say 'This time is for work, and only work.' And 'This time is my personal time, no discussions no discussions about work.'

It only because this way because then I would worry about a customer that wasn't serviced all night till I got back to work, making myself so wired that it created an issue with me sleeping. Then my anxiety would go through the roof. Etc Etc.

You have to find something that benefits you to the best way possible, relaxes you and allows you to earn money. But also take the time to have your PTSD and personal self taken care of. You'll find balance. It just takes time. :)