Relationship Isolation By Imposition!

[Deleted member 38137]

So here I am again, kicked out of the Combat Vet BF's house because he "has stuff to do"... That was Saturday. Needless to say, I'm about fed up. I have not called or texted him since I left at 3 p.m. on Saturday. Nor do I plan to.

After a previous post, several of you PTSD caregivers (Aka Girlfriends, Wives, etc...) told me that dating a PTSD sufferer is probably not for me. And I am thinking more and more you are right. You see, I don't view this as an acceptable relationship for ANYONE:

Look at Social Media and the Relationship Goals:memes. There's bags of Victoria Secret gifts, chocolates, champagne and bubble baths. What do I get? A "I got stuff to do today so I think you should leave"....Hmmm...glad you told me that after I contributed $60 towards the weeks groceries, fed you and gave you sex.

I'm just wondering what I did to make him feel like that? Was it his verbal admittance to a "just a friend" that he used to bang that I'm over quite frequently? Was it my bitching that he shouldn't be talking shit about my "controlling behaviors" to someone he used to bang? Is it because I had some Christmas gifts shipped to his house because he's always home to make sure they don't get stolen off the porch??? Is it just me in general because LORD KNOWS that fifty hours a week that I work is really cramping his lifestyle of sitting home by himself? I'm so FARKIN' SICK OF HIS SHIT!!!

Well, he did it. He drove me away. Obviously that was the goal anyways. I mean, why should I date an all f*cked up Combat Vet with physical and mental disabilities when I can date an ACTIVE AND PRODUCTIVE member of society???

Consider my Tinder, Bumble and Ashley Madison TURNED ON and OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!!

 

[jems]

I'm sorry. Some days I feel like you, even though my situation isn't identical.

 

[Fadeaway]

Obviously that was the goal anyways. I mean, why should I date an all f*cked up Combat vet with physical and mental disabilities when I can date an ACTIVE AND PRODUCTIVE member of society???

Ouch. I know supporters need their space to express themselves just like sufferers but ouch.:cry:

It would definitely be best if you went your separate ways.

 

[Newtoptsd]

I second @Fadeaway .... sometimes what you write on these forums can really affect sufferers and their vision of self-worth and the notions of being able to be loved. Be careful how you word some things, sometimes it may help to type your thoughts out or write them down in order to vent and then delete them before posting.

I think it's time to cut ties from your Combat Vet and from this Forum.

Happy hunting, I hope Tinder, Bumble and AM has what you're looking for!

 

[Deleted member 38137]

I'm sorry. Some days I feel like you, even though my situation isn't identical.

Yeah, isn't it ridiculous? I mean, you try to do everything you can and then get the cold shoulder. Ugh!

 

[Deleted member 38137]

I second @Fadeaway .... sometimes what you write on these forums can really affec...

Again, it's ALL ABOUT the Vet and not the people they effect in their life. How do you think I feel when I get kicked out of my bf's house for no reason??? Don't you think that's hurtful??? Especially after I overhearing him talking shit about me to an ex??? But that's ok???

 

[Newtoptsd]

It's NOT OK at all .... and if you are not ok with it then just end it!!!

PTSD is not an excuse to be an a**ehole ... the problem a lot of us have on here is that we come here to find comfort and sound advice from people, it's hard to read your post as you are not seeking advice or support. It looks pretty obvious that you have made up your mind..... or have you? As you came on this site to post?

I cannot give you advice other than leave, get out and move on. From this post and your previous posts it's clear that you cannot deal with this behavior, that doesn't mean you are in anyway weak it just means it's not for you. Some people have a lot more patience and vigor to be able to deal with that behavior differently, they set boundaries or they leave. A lot of supporters have an amazing amount of compassion and understanding even in the trying of situations like yours above - call us stupid but we're all different and handle situations differently.

Like I said, I am not sure what you are looking to gain from posting the above? Do you want people to scream murder with you about how unholy unfair the situation is? Because it is but screaming blue murder about it won't solve anything, like I said sometimes it's better to vent and then delete, vent and then delete ...

 

[Newtoptsd]

@PartTimeWarriorLover

You are entitled to post whatever you like on here, just like other supporters and sufferers ... sometimes we just need to take a deep breath!

 

[Fadeaway]

The thing is, you don't know that it is for no reason. Just because you have issues with it doesn't mean everyone does. Did you ever stop to wonder if you were trying too hard and that by trying as hard as you were you were overwhelming him with too much stimuli?

 

[Deleted member 38137]

Clearly, I have no answers. Because it seems to me that behavior that is not acceptable in any other relationship gets given a pass with him. I don't understand how he can sit there and tell a woman that he was sleeping with about our relationship in a negative light. And this isn't the first time I have caught him. To me it feels like betrayal. And Yes, I think that maybe I have been. Or more likely, responding to his hotness and then getting pissed off by his coldness.

This time, I'm taking my foot off the gas. I'm not contacting him first.

 

[Sweetpea76]

@PartTimeWarriorLover if you have any interest in being in this relationship., do yourself and your vet a favor and research PTSD.

You have no idea what the symptoms are or how the disorder works.

 

[Newtoptsd]

If you don't want to give him that pass then don't, get out and leave!! It seems to me like you actually don't want to and that's what I'm struggling with, I'm finding it hard to give you advice when you're posting that you're open for business and over and done and then saying you're not contacting him first, as if you're waiting for him to contact and then you'll go from there.

If this really is over you need to just tell him and move on.