Betrayed Wives Being Diagnosed With Ptsd

[anthony]

The last head of the NIMH said that at a symposium.

 

[Lambchop]

Some of you know that my now husband has a past porn issue and is going to a group for men with sex addi...

As someone who was cheated on BY their abuser I think that the negative effects of being betrayed by a partner can resemble the symptoms felt by PTSD sufferers. Before the abuse truly started my boyfriend at the time cheated on me, and this was the beginning of the harm done to me. I felt completely torn up, I had to go to the hospital because I could not stop freaking out and I to this day have severe trust issues. But I think this was partly due to an earlier trauma in which my father cheated on my mother in front of me, maybe it is possible if enough gaslighting in inflicted on the cheaters part? I think in a way cheating in itself is a form of mental abuse

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Anthony about summed up my thoughts on this matter. The world as a whole has had worst times. Or at least some keys countries. Hell, the Gulf alone was how long with Desert Storm up to Obama's pulling of the troops? I'm 35 and was in middle school when Desert Storm was at it's highest. We have seen worst times and we are in a lull of trauma. Not that trauma isn't happening but without war, it seems, no one knows how to classify trauma. So my husband cheated (or I stubbed my toe) equates to what was well known during war times, PTSD. Could there be past trauma? Sure. But that isn't always the case either.

Education, in my opinion, goes a long way. It used to bother me, a lot, that one claims something not in Criteria A caused them to have PTSD but it really doesn't anymore. I educate where I can and then I just move on as it has zero to do with me.

 

[sedna]

This is simply my observation and am by no means qualified to express anything other than those observati...

So true, it really is that simple for trauma survivors of early abuse... But it becomes a grey area for those that haven't had your back round and becomes an issue of what the criteria for PTSD is for early abuse survivors.

 

[Gs172003]

Anthony about summed up my thoughts on this matter. The world as a whole has had worst times...

I live near ft knox. There are still troops being sent. I also live in a town where people are being shot on a routine basis. Over 100 people died last year with gun violence alone and quite a few of them were under the age of 18. Heroin overdoses are routine here. A woman nearby was murdered by her husband not a month ago after being kidnapped by him in Florida. You can't watch the news here anymore without hearing this stuff on a daily basis.
There were three girls sexually assaulted near the university by JUVENILES.

This is not the safe place it used to be.Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe they thought their homes were the last safe refuge and found out it wasn't. I don't know.

I don't know if I would tell those in Syria that they have it good either. Or those attacked by Isis and Isis supporters.

But maybe I'm behind.

 

[ladee]

As someone who was cheated on BY their abuser I think that the negative effects of being betrayed by a...

That was what I was saying earlier. Things happened for many of you BEFORE you ended up in abusive relationship. So therefore you connected the two. That is awesome insight!
So what I said earlier was about situations such as yours. So I am not minimizing your trauma or others in abusive relationships.
I will speak for myself here. I dissaccosiated as a child. My anxiety was so bad I quit school because I could not get in front of the class for a book report. I would loose time at school and my grades reflected that. And I was 'labeled' many things.
I was a trouble maker, defiant of authority, and on and on. I had no one to turn to. No one.
The more trouble I got in in school, the more trouble I got in at home. So it was a cycle that I only felt vicimized in.
And of course I went on to marry men just like the sperm donar. And the cycle continued.
We are not minimizing the affect of anyone's abuse.
Speaking for myself here again, I just feel PTSD is being used as a 'catch all' diagnosis. I pray you DONT have PTSD.
That with a good T and your own willingness to heal that you can move beyond the viscious cycle. Pain is pain regardless of the label. I pray you do well and are able to move foward.
Thank you for sharing your own experiences. That took courage!

 

[ladee]

So true, it really is that simple for trauma survivors of early abuse... But it becomes a grey area for t...

And maybe that is what this thread is about. That 'grey area'. But that is where the Therapists fail us.
It took many years for me to finally get a DX that made sense. The core issues and then it spiderwebs into all sorts of issues. Anxiety and depression,etc.
I am So grateful for the New studies being done on the brain. I know for a fact my brain does not work like 'normal' people.
I look at soccer moms and wonder about their lives behind closed doors.
The more that is learned the better off we will all be.
I do not wear a badge that says I have PTSD. I have been met with some very hurtful reactions . I am not ashamed of it but would love to have had a little easier road to travel.
But I do KNOW we are some of the strongest people on this planet.
I'm sorry for anyone having to endure trauma for any reason!

 

[mamachick]

Ya, I really don't know those who want to wear their pain like a red badge of courage for all to bow down in front of......know more who are not comfortable to share their diagnosis with the exception of sites such as this, where they are understood, supposedly, regardless of the extent of trauma.
I have always felt that my trauma is much less than so many others and have even doubted the diagnosis. So what would I tell others that feel the same? I would not attempt to minimize their injuries.

Im here to learn.
Thanks Anthony for explanation.

 

[ladee]

I know for a fact my trauma is not as horrible as many on here.
But it has changed me and the course of my life. And i look to those that have endured a lot more than me as pure inspiration.
So we tell others their pain matters and their healing journey matters. And that are not alone.

 

[mamachick]

@ladee-my thoughts exactly.

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you all so much for your insight. You all are awesome

 

[Gs172003]

Ya, I really don't know those who want to wear their pain like a red badge of courage for all to bow down...

I don't want the badge. I just want to be "normal" whatever the heck that means