Not Sure Where This Goes

[Gs172003]

Well. I looked at it. Here it is with the name gone. she will never actually do anything. Like I said she's left this side of the country. But this is killing me

 

[GrayOwl]

You need :hug:'s.
Lot's of them.......
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:........
I'm sending prayers for strength and healing.

 

[Gs172003]

You need :hug:'s.
Lot's of them.......
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:...........

Thank you.
I sent it to my therapist. She asked me 'who's "name" I've never said it to her. Cause I can't. I just came out of something that just really was awful just telling her who that was. God I hate this crap.anybody that fakes this junk truly IS crazy.

 

[ladee]

I am so sorry! Explains so much. I have thought the same thing about my son. Know I am here for you as you were for me.
Sending broken hearted mama hugs to you by the truck load. PM me if you want.
None of this is your fault. You didn't know. If you had known this story would have a different ending.
Lots of love and understanding.

 

[Gs172003]

I am so sorry! Explains so much. I have thought the same thing about my son. Know I am here for you as yo...

Thank you. My therapist ended up calling me. I took her to counseling over the years when she was young and the last one I took her to mentioned PTSD with her and me but I brushed it off. It was never brought up again. But it was never explained to me either

 

[ladee]

If we had known another way we would have done things different. .But we didnt.
The one thing I have to beat into my own head daily..you and I had to reach out for help. And so do they.
It is counterintuitive because we are moms. We are supposed to know everything,put baindaids on the hurt and find help for our kids. We did. They weren't ready.
All the supportive words on earth will not convince us we didn't fail as moms.
We have to chip away at that until we reach the conclusion we really did do the best we could.
I am on this journey with you. I understand . I am far from self forgivness. But I work on it. Along with all the other ugly painful crap that entails PTSD.
I have good days and then weeks of self blame, and the list goes on. Intellectually I know how futile that is. Emotionally, well I am a mom. And so it goes.
I know how you are feeling. No magic answers or 'do overs'.
We will hold hands and cry because our heart's are broken for our children. Again, know that I am here for you. We absolutely can not do this part alone.
Hugging you tight. My heart to yours.we are not alone.

 

[Gs172003]

If we had known another way we would have done things different. .But we didnt.
The one thing I have to...

Thank you sweetie. That means so much

 

[joeylittle]

@Zoogal - I don't mean to cause you more upset - but are you assuming that note in the closet means your daughter was sexually abused by the ex? Because, it might not mean that.

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal - I don't mean to cause you more upset - but are you assuming that note i...

I'm not assuming anything. I do know that he was abusive to all of us in one way or another and she took it to hard and so did my son. My son has internalized it all. He works he goes home and does nothing else. It breaks my heart.

And to be honest I wouldn't be surprised in the least.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm not assuming anything. I do know that he was abusive to all of us in one way or another and she took it to hard and so did my son

I understand. I wasn't sure from your earlier post if you were making a leap here to sexual abuse, or not. I'm glad you are not. That's definitely something written by a very angry and in-pain kid, and it must have been really painful to see.

Sending support. :hug:

 

[Gs172003]

I understand. I wasn't sure from your earlier post if you were making a leap here to sexual abuse,...

Yeah it was. Thank you.

 

[Abstract]

Your pain over their pain is a very normal and human reaction. It must be very hard as a mother. And it sounds like the mere mention of him is a trigger as well and sends you to a bad place before even dealing with the rest. I hope you and your children find some healing in time.