General Are These Signs Cause For Concern?

[caligirl03]

My now ex has mentioned calling suicide hotlines simply to "get information" on PTSD (?), started giving away his prized DVD collection, and one night said he was "calling it a career" after taking a bunch of sleeping pills (turned out that they were actually natural sleep aids and "calling it a career" apparently means going to bed) yet naturally I freaked.

When asked directly, he said he's not suicidal, and that I was overly reading into things and having an overactive imagination (which I cop to having at times). However, he's also been acting especially erratic, moody, and withdrawn lately--perhaps the worst I've seen him. I just don't want to miss any signs if there's something I could or should do for him.

 

[Ronin]

Are there any other people you can consult on this & engage in helping him?

 

[caligirl03]

No, although he's close with his family, they're the most closed-off individuals I've ever come across. They don't talk about anything ever, and he has not directly told them about his condition at all, though I imagine they must suspect.

 

[Ronin]

Okay do you know what sort of support he's okay with at his low?

It'd help knowing his prefered way of reaching out, so you could casually hand him a leaflet with addresses and phone numbers and webpages and what not to turn to 'just in case he was feeling very low', without having to spell out suicide or concrete risks you're worried about, 'just' people to talk to.

 

[dulcia]

I would be concerned, too.

 

[Muttly]

I would be concerned and was going to suggest something similar to Ronin. If you are comfortable with it, keep the communication lines open. Offer support in ways you think will work, Ronin mentioned a few. You don't need to spell out suicide but don't be afraid to bring it up again in the future.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Right before my brother "passed away", he sold his DVD collection, gave away all of his things, and told me he way so sad, he couldn't even commit suicide correctly. I should have had him hospitalized but I didn't the last time. And it was the last time. Now there are no more chances. If I called county mental health, and had them come out, he might be pissed and not talk to me, but he would be here.

 

[Sweetpea76]

If it's setting off your alarms it's not overreacting. You said he is untreated?

 

[caligirl03]

Correct, he is untreated, and we are no longer together. When we still were and were attending counseling together per my request, I brought it up in front of the T on purpose. When the T asked him point blank whether he was suicidal, he said no, saying he had been a little depressed lately due to some life transitions but wasn't suicidal. He seemed convincing, but then again his behavior has been SO erratic lately that I just don't know what to believe.

 

[dulcia]

Sometimes people don't realize they are suicidal until just before the act...

 

[caligirl03]

Should I involve his family somehow? I think they honestly blind themselves to his issues, and they most certainly don't ever discuss them, making me the sole person "in" his life who even overtly knows he has PTSD.

 

[dulcia]

Should I involve his family somehow?

I think you answered this question yourself in the post below:

although he's close with his family, they're the most closed-off individuals I've ever come across. They don't talk about anything ever, and he has not directly told them about his condition at all

do you know what sort of support he's okay with at his low?

I think the best thing may be to take Ronin's advice and find out what kind of support he's okay with and go from there. It doesn't seem like he is okay with his family knowing his diagnosis, so he may not be okay with you reaching out to them for support.

With that being said....an emergency is an emergency. If you have that gut feeling that something needs to be done ASAP and you don't have think out and plan the best approach, then I think do what you need to do.