Relationship Blocked Maybe?!

[ConcreteRose]

So after a pretty good candid text discussion about him having a particularly hard time right now, our feelings for one another (which began and ended on a good note), a few quick curt check-ins (initiated by him). It would appear I've been blocked as my message from last week has not gone through. Has anyone else experienced this? I can't see anything I said to bring this about so I'm not really taking it personally per se. Just kind of pondering everything. My best guess is he's isolating and trying to work through things or maybe just too exhausted to communicate. I guess this is more to vent more than anything but I'd appreciate any feedback as I'm still learning to navigate this situation.

 

[dulcia]

What are y'all using to message? If an iMessage or text never says "delivered" underneath it, it could mean you've been blocked or that they can't receive texts for some reason, as if their service has been suspended, etc. If a FB message doesn't go through, it could just mean they've deactivated their account.

 

[ConcreteRose]

What are y'all using to message? If an iMessage or text never says "delivered" underneath it, it cou...

It's an iMessage

 

[Sweetpea76]

He could be isolating. He could be blocking you or have his phone turned off.

I'd take my cue to leave him be. Repeatedly contacting him is going to make it worse.

Is this his first time he's done this?

 

[ConcreteRose]

The only attempt I made was the one that didn't go through and I have no intention of trying to press him by any other means of contact. He has gone silent before after having a rough week. We aren't in any kind of committed relationship so I don't have any expectations really just trying to understand as much as possible since he has reached out to vent as needed.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Some sufferers use isolation as a coping mechanism when they get overwhelmed. It's not usually anything to do with anybody else, even if it seems like they are avoiding you. It's that THEY are stressed and need the alone time to cope.

Not all sufferers isolate, and not all that do isolate do it in the same way.

It's really hard to tell at first if it's an isolation or a break up. You just have to decide if you want to wait it out.

 

[Glara]

I'm sorry. I didn't hear from mine once for 5 weeks, usually it's not long. Sometimes I think I should block him so that I'm not always looking at my phone for texts. It would be easier.

Maybe it's kind of like that for him but in reverse. Maybe he can't contact you so he blocks you. This way he doesn't have to respond when he knows he can't.

Just a thought.

 

[ConcreteRose]

I'm sorry. I didn't hear from mine once for 5 weeks, usually it's not long. Sometimes I think I should bl...

It's a possibility but without it actually coming from him it's all speculation. I know he's been stressed for sometime so it would make sense either way I suppose. I just pray for him (I've kind of adopted the whole "If you're gonna worry don't pray and if you're gonna pray don't worry" mentality) and hope he is working through it. I believe in him and I know he can pull through if he doesn't know it. I intend to do my best to encourage and support him even if it's only in my thoughts and prayers. I just want the best for him no matter what.

 

[TheMinsterman]

I'm sorry. I didn't hear from mine once for 5 weeks, usually it's not long. Sometimes I think I should bl...

I can definitely relate to that, I'm at the hovering on blocking my SO/ex-SO on all forms of contact, she's cut me out and isolated (from me anyway) and part of me feels like if I just cut her out completely too I can finally heal and move forward.

As others have suggested maybe this is his only way of healing and recovering right now, it hurts but you clearly have their best interests at heart, let him heal and process this in his own way as much as you possibly can.

 

[ConcreteRose]

So it's been 2 weeks of silence of today and he hasn't received that initial message since it doesn't say it has been delivered. I don't really know what to think but I shed a few tears today...due to confusion and the possibility of not speaking to him again...I'm trying to be ok if that's the decision he's made. I hope he's ok. I've been trying not to dwell on it and I don't check my phone as much. It just kind of hit me hard today. I'm worried but I know my hands are tied.

 

[MoriMermaid]

Let him process. This is the biggest lesson I learned last year. Let yourself process. I had myself scared and triggered because of a situation like this. It's still rough going, but when I let him go and do his thing, he comes back. It's a new one for me. I use a blocking service with this close friend so that I can focus on the connection we have without worry or preoccupation which leads to being triggered. With me, I require time away because the situation is more stressful now due to his terminal illness. If it's meant to work out with this guy for you, it will. Take care of yourself.

 

[Seeking]

@ConcreteRose darling I'm so sorry. It hurts. I'm 4 weeks in this isolation stuff . I will tell you I have received an ocassional response to text that I sent, where he'd say that he loves me too or that he misses me. After 3 years of a committed, loving relationship here we are. Damn....! Get some help for you! I certainly pray and without God I'm screwed! I am now on prozac because I quite honestly couldn't cope. I will tell you to do what you need to do for you, it's hard I know. I was hyperfocused on texting etc. I found there were times when I felt worse when I'd text and get nothing back. I'm like seriously? Now, I'm trying to not reach out. He has expressed his intentions on talking so great but I know this is life with my vet. There was an old joke where a guy goes to the doctor and he says "Doc, it hurts when I go like that." The doctor says "then don't do that " :) so no texting for me because it hurts if he doesn't respond. For me, I know he loves me but I also know he's got PTSD. But guess what, I love me! Love you self and know that you matter!