View On Overly Positive Individuals

[lostforgottensoul]

No one would consider me over positive, more of a realist/optimist. But the two people I know that are annoyingly positive have experienced horrible trauma so these ideas that they just don't know the world yet are so false and condescending...I'm referring to some of the messages at the beginning of this thread. I know not everyone was so cynical about optimists.

My dad doesn't know what emotional hurt means. He doesn't know what trauma means or does to a person. He commonly tells me to just get over it, put it behind me, its not happening now so why dwell on it, etc, etc, etc. In one 15 min conversation he will say about 10 of those phrases, all make me want to tear his face off. He was raised by a Nazerenne pastor father and an absoute angel of a mother. His 5 siblings and he are all very close.

I don't think everyone that is annoyingly overly positive has not experienced trauma, and I've said that. I think many of those people are most likely in a denial. I was in denial in 10 yrs and though I wouldn't say I have ever been overly positive, I did have a much more "well, maybe one day I will get married and some how have 2.5 kids and a white picket fense" view during my denial. The reality of just how damaged I was and am never came to view until I came out of denial.

No one would consider me over positive, more of a realist/optimist.

Not what I am personally speaking of.

My dad is the best example I can personally think of as an example of the sort of person I am speaking of. Someone that lives with his head in the sand which is filled with rainbows and butterflies.

 

[FireSign8]

Con-tempt. I like to look into the meanings of the words we use in today's world & wonder if people living in ancient times used those same words in different applications. Translations into the English language has left most of us in the dark when it comes to having a TRUE UNDERSTANDING of ancient writings. My major point of contempt lies with the so-called "educated" people who work in the mental health field & helping hand agencies. So many are just plain clueless. They have most likely never died & lived to tell about it in a way that did not involve a "miracle".

Ignorance is bliss & I wish I did not know what I know - but I do & would never expect any person of faith to be forced to think as I do....so what gives them the right to attempt to force a "non-believer" into their belief system in order to get assistance with PTSD or a bed for the night in a shelter? I have no contempt....just diss-content with the judgmental people who so often sit in judgement of others they deem as "lesser beings", in need of some sort of religious cleansing & giving up of our souls to unknown & unproven people, places & things!

This is not the America I wish to live in. We the people should never judge others by their beliefs in order to gain their trust for shoddy purposes & discrimination. When I became a "victim" I got to see the other side of life & it left me with a reality that I was trying to live a fairy tale that for me is unattainable at this point in my life. I would never tell anyone else to think as I do, nor would I tell them they are wrong to have their own belief system. That's my take on this matter & I'm sticking to it!

 

[Roslie22]

Con-tempt. I like to look into the meanings of the words we use in today's world & wonder if people...

Its always a sticky situation when a religious person thinks we need (religious) saving.
I think this may be against professional ethics not sure, but when I was 14 a G.P very innocently but persistently offered me a mini bible

 

[Rani G2]

became atheist and I try to avoid superstition as much as possible.

Is anyone else like this ?

Belief systems might reduce discomfort, ambivalence, the discrepancy between our morals and how we truly feel. Some might need spiritual, religious teachings to be able to cope with reality. Some might call it cognitive dissonance. Seeing it from a point of every human beings will to survive, I do understand. Maybe it is even dangerous for some individuals to think or question their state of being.

Behind that ability, l also see a limit. There is no potential to grow, no development.

Thats tragedy as well.

 

[Roslie22]

Agreed, or at least, no major-drastic potential to grow...

Viele grüße aus Australien Shankara :)

 

[Rani G2]

Viele Grüße ebenfalls!

I always liked the sentence: We tell ourselves stories in order to live.- Joan Didion


Some work for a while.

 

[Roslie22]

:D :D danke

That's true. I suppose telling myself when I was young that there will be a better future, and one day i'll look back at myself and say it went okay, worked?

 

[Rani G2]

Yes thats the magic pill.

It might help for a second just before the switch goes on and I loose my sanity.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I was never taught to healthily love myself or find the beauty within, so I continue to stumble along in my attempts of figuring it all out. I tend to be viewed as either a negative nancy (when I share world views of how I see (and live(d)) reality - which includes how all living things are treated and how that energy affects us) or as too bubbly and bouncy when I experience life from a child-like wonder point of view and openly share the magic I feel inside.

Not sure if my psyche got stuck there when the abuse occurred, or if I'm simply at an age now where I can finally appreciate the simpler things in life and not really worry about what anyone else thinks. Either way, it bugs me to be taken less seriously when I do feel good and outwardly express it because I don't seem to be viewed as "miserable enough" by some.

I don't fall for the religious stuff, either, as it never did set right in my heart, and get super triggered by certain aspects of it. The word belief has LIE right in it, such as the word diet has the word DIE, etc. Some of the worst things done to me were done by those who claim(ed) to be such devout kind and loving beLIEvers in some-thing or another, always outside of self. I'm overly positive I'll never again seek/find any genuine comfort in those arenas. I kept tripping over all the strings attached.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

bubbly and bouncy when I experience life from a child-like wonder point of view and openly share the magic I feel inside.

I'm simply at an age now where I can finally appreciate the simpler things in life and not really worry about what anyone else thinks. Either way, it bugs me to be taken less seriously when I do feel good and outwardly express it because I don't seem to be viewed as "miserable enough" by some.

I think we all should appreciate the simple things in life. Most don't. Most have no idea how much they should be thankful for as its all small and no one thinks of it and I was guilty of that until March 2009. Thats when I fell 3 stories and landed on the bottom of my back/partely my ass and life has never been the same. And now today I appreciate the super small things. The things most don't even think about. And many other things I can't do that many take for granted and never thinks about.

But appreciating the small things is something I think we should all do and not the type of person I am speaking of. And certianly I wouldn't call anyone not miserable enough.

The type of person I am personally speaking of (which is modeled from my dad because he is the best example of this I can think of. Him and my family on his side) is one at which thinks so "positive" that it is impossible for them to see the reality of anything not super positive. "Well it will all work out". Or the biggest thing, while my step mom is getting high on pain pills, "well she isn't in pain and so thats good". It crippled him as he could not see that her getting high is a very, VERY, bad thing and also, since they lived with me at the time, a clean addict, it was also super disrespectful to me.

He will say "I don't want to hear about it" when confronted with bad things and can't put put a positive glaze over it.

But they also sit in judgement of me. They say things like "you need to learn to not dwell on the past", "just put it behind you", "just move on", "you are being too negitive" (when speaking about my past and my mental issues. Or when having symptoms of a mental disorder I have not to my own fault), "it's not happening right now", "you just want to stay in the past" when I can't "get over it" fast enough, or "you just want to wallow in sorrow" or "you are just looking for attention", and many others.

He must spin things and twist them, putting positive spins on it all the then excuse it and dumb it down until, in his mind, none of it is abuse.

I am speaking of my dad AND the remainder of my family on his side so that is the reason I said "they", etc. I am not generalizing.

But I will say this again, I personally am not speaking of people that try to stay positive and/or keep a positive outlook and stay as not miserable as possible. I am speaking of the type of person that are so positive that it is impossible for them to see reality, if it isn't super positive, admit to themselves anything bad happened, twist and morph things to fit their positive thinking, and stand in judgement of you and anyone else that doesn't fit their mold of what you should be like and should do.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I think we all should appreciate the simple things in life. Most don't. Most have no idea h...

Yeah, that's a whole different breed, indeed. Thank you for explaining in more depth. And it eerily reminds me of many of the adults in my past. Impossible to navigate discussions them with any genuine innerstanding.

 

[Cannottakethis]

I think the subtitle for this thread could be "phrases I hate".

Everything happens for a reason

Let go and let God

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

And my absolute least favorite that I didn't see mentioned :

It is what it is


My mom used to say it as if an excuse for everything that was wrong in my life because of her and my dad. Or

Let's just move on
I'd love to but the flashbacks don't let me.

Sorry. Thread hijack over.