View On Overly Positive Individuals

[Roslie22]

Overly positive people make me suspicious. I just think, "get back to me when life happens to you"....

I've caught myself thinking the same to be honest! Not in a way that I wish them any harm, but more of a "get real" sort of thing

 

[Frenzy3674]

I've caught myself thinking the same to be honest! Not in a way that I wish them any harm, but more of...

Exactly

 

[intothelight]

All of us have our unique personalities and one of the most positive people I know has had a life that rivals that of Job. I also know some pessimistic people who see nothing but bad or the potential for bad things happening and yet their lives have been really good. I think that all of us fall somewhere on that spectrum, but for myself I found that active PTSD colored things and my thoughts and didn't match the reality of the present.

When I am not actively symptomatic, I run in a kind of neutral (realist is the term I prefer), and when I encounter those that are overly optimistic my thoughts are "stay away until I've had my coffee", but really I accept and respect that is just who they are.

 

[Ronin]

At present, I don't handle them.

I don't need fake bullshit. I need acknowledgment where does life suck to work on it getting better. I need a 'Okay, there /are/ worse options, why do you see them as good' kinds of checks instead of dismissal when those are the most solution & action I've come up with as an ideation. Because it's taken me bloody lot to think of even these.

& Sympathy is damned useless and infuriating and that positive nonsense sounds heckuva 'sympathy' to me.

 

[Toriplays]

I think what I get from reading this thread is frustration. It's a dismissive attitude people have towards people who have suffered greatly in life.
It feels condescending. It's disrespectful in many ways.
I never let myself be vulnerable but I'm trying to change that. I read the Brene Brown book about the power of vulnerability. I put it to use but it has not helped me feel closer to others. If anything when I share certain things with friends I feel less close to them. Perhaps it feels dangerous. I don't know. Yet, I am being more open. Another thing I don't like is if I do open up to a friend and they keep mentioning my trauma. Well, I know it's nothing compared to what you've been through. It's not a contest. You're the winner! You've had more pain than me. It's pathetic. I'm still on the fence about sharing this because so far it really hasn't helped but it has hindered.
I'm not sure if that makes sense or not.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It's a dismissive attitude people have towards people who have suffered greatly in life.

YES!!!

My dad is the most dismissive person I know that dismisses emotional pain, my trauma, my issues, my physical pain. It's like he lives in a world, in his head, full of rainbows and butterflies and bunnies or something. He puts a positive filter on EVERYTHING! I don't get it.

Like I said before, I like people that make me smile and laugh and I like upbeat people and tend to gravitate to those sorts of people both in person and online but I cannot stand nor understand those that cannot see reality and MUST put a positive spin on everything and every aspect of life. Many times I just want someone to say "I am sorry you had to go through that and I am here if you need a shoulder and an ear". Is that hard to ask? To ask for someone to just listen and not try to twist the reality of my trauma into something positve or tell me to just let it go or leave it in the past or get over it or just move on because if I could do that I WOULD HAVE f*ckING ALREADY DONE SO! Do these people think I want to be a miserable person my whole life? And even if they did, why would I pay over 5 grand in 8 years of therapy? Why would I be in therapy at all if I just wanted to stay miserable?

Ugh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to thread jack...

/tangent

 

[alis]

Nope, I also don't believe in "fate" or that "everything happens for a reason." I tend to laugh at overly positive ideals like that. The people who think that are also the same who probably think that "thinking positive, happy rainbow sunshine thoughts" can cure mental illnesses. It's idealistic. Of course positive thinking has it's benefits, but too much of it I can't stand.

The way I cope isn't trying to spin a brighter side to things. I laugh at how awful the world can be, with no rhyme or reason to it. I find comedic moments in my life where even when things are horrible I laugh at the absurdity of it all. Bad Sh*t just HAPPENS sometimes and there's no reason to add meaning to it. There are infinite possibilities for the future and there's no absolute way to tell what is going to happen. Even looking back at things, there's no way to tell what *exactly* was the cause-effect relation to a happening.

 

[Toriplays]

YES!!!

My dad is the most dismissive person I know that dismisses emotional pain, my trauma,...

I'm not sure if you can relate to this or not but I cannot tolerate people invalidating my feelings. I see red. It's very controlling. If I feel something no one was the right to dismiss it. I seriously draw the line with them. We're entitled to feel anything we want. We don't have to justify anything to these people. I grew up in a home were feelings....all emotions were considered weak. Yet, all I could do was feel. So, if I encounter someone like that I won't engage with them. They can watch my back as I walk away! Lol!