Undiagnosed No One To Talk To, So I Picked You :)

[Jon Arthur]

I'm an Iraq War vet with un-diagnosed PTSD since 2004. Tried treatment one time with the VA and my doctor was middle eastern, and a bitch. Not that the two have anything to do with each other and I"m not racist against anybody, I served for the american people and the good of the world, but I left 15 minutes into treatment and never went back. The memory loss and sleepless nights are worse then ever. Which causes more stress then just the "working my ass off and still broke type of stress". I sleep 4 hours a night most nights, or less, and I hate it. I am wore out 9 out of 10 days and fighting like hell to push through the BS so I can provide for my beautiful family. I was in a combat zone and in crazy scary situations although I never engaged in active combat. I've never pushed the issue to the VA again I guess cuz I'm scared they will tell me there is nothing wrong when I fight 20 times a day to remember where my keys are or keep track of the projects at work, or are just so completely spaced out with blank thoughts because of the lack of sleep. I used to have crazy nightmares but those are few and far in between now (since I met my wife). I know my job inside and out and I feel like I cant ask for a raise because I know my issues are a pain for my boss. I'm tired enough to give up but I've made it so long I couldn't live with myself if I gave up so I push on everyday.

I love life, just wish I could enjoy it a lil more in the day to day struggle.

 

[Bristol]

Welcome to the site :) everyone here is awesome

 

[Friday]

Welcome Aboard!

My fav piece of knowledge to kick is the StressCup >>> The PTSD Cup - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Explained Just. So. Useful.

 

[Jon Arthur]

Welcome to the site :) everyone here is awesome

Welcome Aboard!

My fav piece of knowledge to kick is the StressCup >>>

Thank you Friday, I have never seen the PTSD cup explanation before. It makes perfect sense and explains my life to a "T" with regard to stress and reactions. I think this forum may be the beginning of me taking charge of myself after just ignoring and avoiding my issues.

 

[ladee]

Welcome. Glad you found us. I can tell you want the .keys to get out of prison.
Most all of us will suggest you find a Therapist..VA or civilian
This is a hard journey..as you well know from what you shared.
Very glad you have a place to say what is going on and to be heard.

 

[LuckiLee]

Hi Jon. Welcome home and Thanks for your service. My bf is a combat veteran too with 8 deployments. His memory isn't the greatest either. We have a calendar and note board on the fridge and use it daily. It definitely helps. He was untreated for 20 years and his life really fell apart. He ended up doing the work therapy program ( one year)at the VA and it saved his life. Five years later he is a Plant Manager still sees his T and group every month and goes fishing when he needs to. PTSD really sucks but if you and your family have as much information you can get it's doable!! So I say go to the VA and get the help you deserve. And when they throw drugs at you research and ask questions. There is a sister site to this one mycombatptsd soooo much information there. It's all veterans. They know their shit!! Also you should check out the Vet Center near you it's all Vets too. (not sure if you have to go to the VA 1st though). Sorry, I'm just rambling now. Good luck and if you have any questions ask away. ✌