There are days where something as simple as saying you don't like something about me can set me off. But, it's not like I can hold up a sign saying, "I have PTSD." And even if I did they wouldn't truly grasp the concept. Friends leave because they don't understand my sudden outbursts. It seems that when I apologize and try to explain it to them they either refuse to listen, or dismiss it as an excuse. Family is the same way. To them I let what I feel bother me. But, I don't intentionally cause my own PTSD and depression. It happens on it's own. They blame my actions during a PTSD moment, my trust issues, social anxiey all on my ability to make and keep relationships. It becomes a sort of blaming towards me. But, it's not my fault. It's the incident that happened to me. Everyone seems to think I'm just shy and my low self-esteem is caused by being a teenager. The truth is it is so much more than that. Their accusations cause lots of anger and self-blaming. Sometimes I wonder. Are they right? Is this really all my fault? That I'm the reason my friends leave me so easily and why I'll never have a girlfriend. Will I always be so helplessly alone?
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Informing Other People
- Post starter Engineer
- Start date
- Status
- Post starter
- #3
Well I'm 16 so I live with my mom and her constant blaming. Can't get my own home, or anything.
physicist13
Silver Member
Are they right? Is this really all my fault?
Hard to say without having ever met you or the people you are talking about, by my guess is that you are both right and wrong. Of course it is not "all" your fault... there are always two sides to a situation. No one is fully to blame, and people must take responsibility for the blame that is theirs-- one so they can have healthy relationships, and two for self improvement.
Similarly, I don't know why your friends leave so easily. If they are newer friends, they maybe just don't feel completely invested in the relationship and you may be putting too much on them. It's unfortunate that others can not really understand PTSD, but I try to put myself in the shoes of my peers and think about what I would seem like (as someone with PTSD) if I didn't have it. If you have been friends for a long time, that just sucks and some people aren't strong enough to handle any adversity, and I apologize on behalf of those shitty people.
"I'll never have a girlfriend"
You don't know that this is true, although I guess I also don't know that it is false. However, I would say this statement is unlikely. For most, life is lengthy, and I am sure at some point you will find someone who loves and understands you, and you will do the same in return. I am not much older than you (18), but you are young, and at 16 you are really not giving yourself or other people enough credit by assuming you will never have a girlfriend and will "always be so helplessly alone".
I'm also still in HS so I can definitely relate to the peer isolation due to not being understood... feel free to private message me if you want to talk more :)
Hard to say without having ever met you or the people you are talking about, by my guess is that you are both right and wrong. Of course it is not "all" your fault... there are always two sides to a situation. No one is fully to blame, and people must take responsibility for the blame that is theirs-- one so they can have healthy relationships, and two for self improvement.
Similarly, I don't know why your friends leave so easily. If they are newer friends, they maybe just don't feel completely invested in the relationship and you may be putting too much on them. It's unfortunate that others can not really understand PTSD, but I try to put myself in the shoes of my peers and think about what I would seem like (as someone with PTSD) if I didn't have it. If you have been friends for a long time, that just sucks and some people aren't strong enough to handle any adversity, and I apologize on behalf of those shitty people.
"I'll never have a girlfriend"
You don't know that this is true, although I guess I also don't know that it is false. However, I would say this statement is unlikely. For most, life is lengthy, and I am sure at some point you will find someone who loves and understands you, and you will do the same in return. I am not much older than you (18), but you are young, and at 16 you are really not giving yourself or other people enough credit by assuming you will never have a girlfriend and will "always be so helplessly alone".
I'm also still in HS so I can definitely relate to the peer isolation due to not being understood... feel free to private message me if you want to talk more :)
- Post starter
- #5
Thank you so much for your response. As for private messaging I think I've expressed all my doubts and self-hatred all in this one paragraph. Unless you want to help keep away these thoughts then I don't really see the need for private messaging.
Friday
Sponsor
"Not my fault, and not their problem. Just my responsibility."
^^^ Wise words from a friend, and pretty much how I live my life. Is it my fault I have PTSD? Nope. But it is my responsibility to manage it, no one else's.
^^^ Wise words from a friend, and pretty much how I live my life. Is it my fault I have PTSD? Nope. But it is my responsibility to manage it, no one else's.
physicist13
Silver Member
No worries! Just an open offer for if you wanted to talk more :)
Is it possible to find a job?
Eventually, use the money (if a move isn't doable) as a reason to tell her to STFU? (Given a 'You're not paying jack here, I'm taking care of myself, so keep it').
- Post starter
- #9
Lolz. Read my profile. I am way to booked with my own personal studies to get a job. Can't legally live on yot own here unless your 18.
- Post starter
- #11
Just my mom. Lots of things soothe me: Rain, music, tea, learning, a good book, sitting up high somewhere and just processing things. But, as for what helps me survive it? Absolutely nothing. I hide in my room until I am forced to leave.
Strength? I would say that I just tell myself it's not her fault she can't understand the situation and her criticism is simply misplaced has nothing to do with me.
Last edited by a moderator:
It's the damned truth, too. :sneaky:
Keep on hanging on, yes? Even when you're collapsing, because you'll make it through. You will leave her, and with time and healing, all she's done, will leave you, too. Or at least be in the background enough to hurt slightly less, even if it takes ages.
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
