Do You Feel The Same Way About People ?

[EmmaOwl]

@Allie D. :roflmao: LMAO. Nah. At least not exactly. Everyone's got problems. That...

Friday, you're awesome! You could've just said "reciprocity" or something , but give you five minutes and you have an essay! :happy:

 

[EmmaOwl]

It's just a lesson from being dropped into a helluva lot of different groups of people all over the globe.

See, I graduated high school in a small commuter town, where everyone lived 'cause you could walk to the train station. Graduated high school with a couple kids I started in the nursery school for 2 year olds!... on the other hand, I was always taking the train to "the city" (new york snob here, I think you know by now ;) ) . my parents trusted me or something, the weirdos.

and this:

I tend to short circuit that process by plonking myself in with whomever I've targeted as being someone interesting / someone *I* want to get to know better,

definitely applies to me. I'd chat with all kinds of oddballs :) waiting for a subway, whatever. If they want to talk cool, if not cool.

The only exception is, morning commute. You never look anyone in the eye when everyone pretends that you aren't being held upright and in physical contact with at least 10 strangers, ick. Other than that I love being around all the people. And so much to see just walking down a short block. Good for OBSERVERS. (See how I just got on topic again? Subtle.) Great for writers. I delude myself, thinking that if I was in the city again I would be able to write again.:unsure:

apologies for going far afield in this thread .... but perhaps... Well, there may be a lesson. I've won but then lost many friends. I now have about two friends and even those are hard-won, and I rarely even talk to them. The person I'm closest to in the world is my therapist. So it's been really good for me, in some ways, to re-learn how to communicate with other people. Maybe, @Will86 , you will do much better, armed with some knowledge and insight from this huge group of people.

 

[Freedomfighter]

As a young person, I'm still learning how life and people function, I came up to realize long ago that I...

No not at all, you are totally right. To discuss the problems of one another does not mean we are a psychologist , it means we care. It is beautiful to experience that caring.

 

[LadyZane]

it does seem to be a pattern that most people are self centered, or they have never been raised to have concern for other people. if they feel like you're the person they can go to with their problems -- congratulations, it means you come across as a warm caring person! don't stop being that person just because most people aren't that way back to you, if that makes sense. there ARE other people like you out there! keep testing the water and seeing if you can open up to people as you go through life (use your judgement, of course) and eventually you'll know who the reliable ones are.

for people like us, our problems tend to be less superficial than other people's and that can make it hard to know how to talk about them. I'm 38 and I still struggle with this. while other people are sharing their funny childhood stories, i'm just sitting there silent because i don't have any of those. i definitely understand how hard it can be.

 

[EmmaOwl]

if they feel like you're the person they can go to with their problems -- congratulations, it means you come across as a warm caring person! don't stop being that person just because most people aren't that way back to you,

My mother is an absolute magnet for people who zoom in and burden her with problems... She listens carefully and spends time communicating with people - who never reciprocate. Or, she never speaks of her burdens. I wish I could make her change this behavior - because she takes on so much - after ignoring her own feelings and listening to and helping others, she becomes despondent.


I'm not saying that anyone should stop being caring! It's just that she spends so much time and energy, caring for others, that she has nothing left to take care of *herself*.