I am a fairly smart person, but I am pretty clueless on some things. My question to y'all is how do you manage your parts/alters manifesting in the "outside world?" I do have DID and have been diagnosed with Bipolar. And I have fibromyalgia which just complicates everything further.
I am really struggling with my parts running amok. One landed me a 9 day stay in a hospital which was minimally helpful (well, it kept me alive so I guess that's more than minimal!).
The suicidal parts have settled down for the time, but other parts are taking me over regularly. Today, in my psychiatrist appointment, for example, I became aware that I was sitting in an odd position on the sofa and I realized I'd been hijacked by some part. Looked at my watch and nearly 40 minutes of the appointment was over. I don't remember much of what we talked about. On Monday, I was so overrun by parts in my other therapy appointment that I could not do the "safe place" activity he was working on with me, and the only thing that kept me from bolting out of his office was his very loud and firm voice. These are just two of the examples.
My therapy team says I have to let the parts out so they can heal. That I have to stop fighting them off and trying to make them go away. BUT...if I relax enough and let them out, my life will turn upside down. I mean, they're coming out anyway, but they will come out more if I let down my guard. And I do weird things, like hide in small places, or become unable to speak, or act silly like a little kid, or other more self-destructive things. So what I have been doing since I came home from the hospital is going to bed constantly. When I do that, the parts sometimes surface just in my inner world. But I don't want to stay in bed all the time. I used to be able to be around people for longer periods of time. Now I'm down to an hour maximum, before I seem to lose control of keeping parts in.
My psychiatrist says this is all part of the process of healing, and that sometimes things seem like they're getting worse when really they are getting better. But I am feeling totally crazy and out of control. And very fearful that parts will emerge in my social world the way they do at home and in my therapy appointments.
I try very hard to call into the inner world and ask them to stay there, but it is not particularly effective (I don't have a lot of co-consciousness but there's some). I am working a lot on grounding skills, but that is its own challenge because being in my body triggers off parts. And now, apparently, this safe place practice has triggered off more parts.
So I'd love to hear from anybody who might share their experience of managing parts.
I am really struggling with my parts running amok. One landed me a 9 day stay in a hospital which was minimally helpful (well, it kept me alive so I guess that's more than minimal!).
The suicidal parts have settled down for the time, but other parts are taking me over regularly. Today, in my psychiatrist appointment, for example, I became aware that I was sitting in an odd position on the sofa and I realized I'd been hijacked by some part. Looked at my watch and nearly 40 minutes of the appointment was over. I don't remember much of what we talked about. On Monday, I was so overrun by parts in my other therapy appointment that I could not do the "safe place" activity he was working on with me, and the only thing that kept me from bolting out of his office was his very loud and firm voice. These are just two of the examples.
My therapy team says I have to let the parts out so they can heal. That I have to stop fighting them off and trying to make them go away. BUT...if I relax enough and let them out, my life will turn upside down. I mean, they're coming out anyway, but they will come out more if I let down my guard. And I do weird things, like hide in small places, or become unable to speak, or act silly like a little kid, or other more self-destructive things. So what I have been doing since I came home from the hospital is going to bed constantly. When I do that, the parts sometimes surface just in my inner world. But I don't want to stay in bed all the time. I used to be able to be around people for longer periods of time. Now I'm down to an hour maximum, before I seem to lose control of keeping parts in.
My psychiatrist says this is all part of the process of healing, and that sometimes things seem like they're getting worse when really they are getting better. But I am feeling totally crazy and out of control. And very fearful that parts will emerge in my social world the way they do at home and in my therapy appointments.
I try very hard to call into the inner world and ask them to stay there, but it is not particularly effective (I don't have a lot of co-consciousness but there's some). I am working a lot on grounding skills, but that is its own challenge because being in my body triggers off parts. And now, apparently, this safe place practice has triggered off more parts.
So I'd love to hear from anybody who might share their experience of managing parts.
