Really Enraged Right Now

[Casey_03]

I am beginning to think all my family members are truly twisted. As some of you may know, I have been living in my deceased grandma's house for the past several months (she died in January but I was taking care of her for a bit before then). When she died, my relatives all insisted repeatedly, over the course of several months, that I could remain in the house until it sells, at which point I'd get some of the proceeds and have more money to find an apartment for me and my baby.

For MONTHs I was told this, and explicitly reassured that the estate sale they were planning could go on with me in the house. (I picked up on the fact that my relatives wanted me to leave, and have been looking at apartments, but any time I brought it up I was told, "Oh don't worry, there's no rush," which made me think I could be more selective in finding an apartment. Because I thought I had more time! ).

WRONG. Tonight my aunt, the executor of my grandma's will, wrote to tell me I need to be out by May 1 so they can hold the estate sale. This baffled me, because just a few weeks ago she was the one who sat me down and said, "Don't worry, you can stay in the house for the estate sale. I talked to the estate sale people and they said they can work around you, and you can just stay in a separate room." Now, however, she says they need me out and can't work around me, and that her previous statements were made "so I wouldn't get upset."

So, over the course of several months, she basically told me flat-out lies "so that I wouldn't get upset," and then decided to spring it on me now, less than week before May 1, that actually everything she and everyone else said up until this point was bullshit and I need to get the hell out? Is that normal behavior?

When I asked her why on earth she would tell me the exact opposite this whole time, she just kept saying, "Oh, we could have been charging you rent but we didn't want to cause of the baby."

I'm actually in the will as one of the people who owns the house. But she wants to passive aggressively tell me they could have been charging me rent.

Am I wrong in thinking this is insane behavior?

I am now going to be forced to settle for an apartment in the ghetto, literally.

The icing on the cake is that she ended all of this by saying, "I really love you and the baby and just didn't want to upset you."

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Casey_03 I feel for you, my landlord informed me 1 week ago, that he bought a house, is moving out the 1st of May and is selling the house. I could be homeless soon as there is shit for housing in my area.

The thing is @Casey_03 ...... They CAN NOT tell you to leave in a week. They HAVE to give you a 30 day notice, and then you still don't have to move out. They would need to petition the court for an eviction notice, which would take a couple of weeks for the court to notify you, and the court could give you some additional time. In Ma where I live it's up to 6 more months.

There are laws, and they are published online. Every state has their own version of laws. All you have to do is google the laws for tennant/landlord laws in your state. Actually anyone renting should do this so they know how to protect themselves....

 

[Stitchin]

Yes this is crazy behavior. You DO NOT have to leave when they tell you to!!! Especially since you are named as part owner in the will. Even if you were not named, they are required BY LAW to provide written notice to vacate, if you refuse they must file eviction proceedings, and once you're served, you have 7 days to respond to the court, which will then provide you with a court date, which if nothing else will give you more time - but it sounds to me like you would win if you did go to court.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your baby. Death brings out the worst in people :(

 

[Casey_03]

Thank you guys. Yes, you're right that legally they have to give more time. I told my aunt that and she has now given written notice that I have to be out. I'm honestly more upset that she has been lying to me for months and telling me the exact opposite. I've even explicitly asked multiple times, "Are you sure I can still be in the house until it's sold?" and she always said, "Yes, of course." After hearing that for months, it's a shock to suddenly hear, "Why aren't you out yet? We're waiting for you to get out so we can hold the estate sale." And of course, now she's portraying me as some sort of monster for confronting her about the dishonesty.

 

[Stitchin]

Even with the written notice, they have to file for an eviction at the court if you haven't left by their specified date. And the written notice should have a thirty day notice -
I say do what is best for you and your baby, don't let their behavior affect how you feel - you're not doing ANYTHING wrong!

 

[Stitchin]

Just remain pleasant through it all. If voices get raised, speak more softly. The quieter you speak the harder they have to listen, and this helps lower their anger during a conversation.
Keep reminding them that you cared for the deceased during life, and that you love everyone in the family (if that's true) and want this to be resolved in a reasonable fashion.
I'll be thinking of you! Good luck

 

[Justmehere]

She is a horrible human being.

I'm actually in the will as one of the people who owns the house. But she wants to passive aggressively tell me they could have been charging me rent.

Are there any non-profit legal clinics that help with evictions or civil law in your area? Maybe they could help...

 

[Casey_03]

I'm sure I could probably find legal assistance, but I really don't want to fight the eviction. I had planned on leaving soon anyways and have been actively searching for a new apartment, but it's a lot harder to find a suitable place when you have a baby and a very low income. So, it's taking a bit longer than I would have liked. My aunt's behavior is just a huge slap in the face that I don't need right now. And the frustrating thing is that this whole conflict could have easily been prevented if she'd have just been open and honest in the very beginning and said, "Listen, we need you out of the house in order to sell it." I'm an adult, I would've understood if she'd said that. But she has chosen to behave like a child.

 

[Fadeaway]

If you own part of the house they can't sell it without your permission right? The tittle won't clear right? So even though you intend to move couldn't refusal to sign off on the tittle give you a bit of leverage to to let you stay longer? Purely a threat because I know you don't want to stay, but it might scare her straight if you threaten to refuse to sign off on the house period if she doesn't give you more time. If she hadn't lied to you I wouldn't even suggest it.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I would, if I were you, find housing ASAP. Although they can't throw you out and they need to do the process of written notice etc. You have had basically 4 months to find housing. The family made their intentions clear, that the house would be sold. Sucks, but in the end you will have the option to cut ties with the crazies after you move out.

 

[Casey_03]

You have had basically 4 months to find housing.

@She Cat I definitely will find housing ASAP, that was always my plan. The reason I stayed this whole time was because my aunt and all my other relatives kept insisting I SHOULD stay until the house is sold so that i'd have more money to find decent housing. That's what infuriates me - yes, they did make their intentions clear, they were always upfront about wanting to sell the house, but THEY ENCOURAGED ME TO STAY until the house is sold and are now evicting me. It's very hard to find housing with an income of 1,000 a month and a self-employed position. I pay 600 in student loans a month, so you can imagine what sort of housing I'm able to find now with a budget of less than 400 a month. The only places are rooms in the ghetto, literally. If not for the fact that this aunt had repeatedly (more than a dozen times) ENCOURAGED me to stay and reassured me that I could stay until the house is sold, I wouldn't mind the eviction. But it's a littler strange to be told day in and day out for several months that I SHOULD stay until it sells (by the aunt, the real estate agent, all other family members and friends of the family), only for them to abruptly change their mind and be incredibly nasty about it. While I've been here, I've taken on all the duties for taking care of the house, landscaping, paying vet bills for and taking care of my grandma's cat, paying housing bills, etc. It's even worse since they know how difficult it is for someone with no proof of income, no credit history and no residential history in this country to find an apartment. And yet they say they care about me and my baby? Yeah, bullshit.

I even went and looked at apartments about two months ago, told this aunt about it and said I'd move out, and she said, "Well why are you moving out now? I told you you can stay until the house sells. You're better off staying until the very end so you can save as much of your money now as you can."

 

[ladee]

And so they have proved, yet again, that you and LM are not a priority... they have been giving you mixed messages all along... so you take that anger and go the legal route... nothing they can do about that....
It hurts when family really isn't family... you have lived in worse conditions overseas....
Own that you are angry and hurt.... with every right to feel what you feel... and while the court does it's thing... you take your time finding a place for you and LM... I'm afraid the student loan would just have to wait... don't know how you would go about getting some time added for that one... not like you would be the only one not making timely payments on student loans...

Me and my baby would be priority and the consequences for not paying on the student loan would not be on my priority list.. while I appreciate your dedication to paying.... real life is here , staring you in the face.... and you knew you couldn't find a place for the remaining money.... and take care of LM and yourself....

So to hell with the student loan.... I guess I look at it like ,if i die before it's paid, what are they going to do???

Sorry you are hurt and angry... but that has been the theme with your family since you returned from overseas.... and finding another job would be first on my list... believe it or not, cleaning houses pays very well.... anything to bring in more money... you can do this on the side and make a few dollars....

Sorry they have done this to you, but you are right, you are an adult...your first priority is making sure you and LM are in a reasonably safe place.... time to get down and just do what you need to do... take your time and it will work out... there are other jobs , with your education.... you can find a better paying job....

Wishing you well Casey... and I would go no contact with the whole damned bunch of them.... you have enough stuff going on... Hope you find something that is safe for both of you...give LM kisses for me..