I'm addicted to avoidance/ procrastination

[a.very.hungry.beast]

anyone here suffer from extreme phobias and compulsive avoidance?

 

[ms spock]

Yes

 

[GwenDR]

To an extreme, life destroying degree.

 

[Beans]

Absolutely! Getting better, but man it's hard not to default to avoidance.

 

[GwenDR]

And I avoid things I want to do, too.

 

[ms spock]

Me too!

 

[anonymous]

On some things, YES!!!

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm addicted to avoidance lol.

 

[Fadeaway]

I wouldn't say addicted because it isn't something I want or crave. I hate my avoidance issues. They have done a lot of harm. I just can't face up to certain things with out anxiety that is way too uncomfortable. I am addicted to reducing my anxiety levels and that = avoidance.

 

[PointlessExistence]

I avoid like crazy. I can't do things and protect myself at the same time.

 

[Phoenix 8]

I used to do the same thing, but in talking to survivor further along on the recovery road, I started to ask myself what I was protecting myself from and if that protection was still necessary.

anyone here suffer from extreme phobias and compulsive avoidance?

I used to. But I learned through therapy and through association with people further along on road of recovery that it didn't have to be like that.
I already knew that everything I wanted to do in my life was outside my comfort zone. I was tired of living in my little fishbowl, when the big wide ocean awaited just outside of that little fishbowl. What comes easily to most people, we struggle with. So with a lot of support from loved ones and other survivors, I started taking baby steps outside my comfort zone. Self care was a biggie for me. I made a decision to hang up my tops in my closet, just my tops. I was tired of having clean tops that I couldn't wear because the were all wrinkled from not being hung up. So as soon as I got home with my clean laundry, I hung up all of my tops. Was I successful 100% of the time? Of course not, but it was a start.
This also taught me that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I overcame my compulsive avoidance by taking little baby steps outside my comfort zone and realizing that there is life outside of my fishbowl. Once I was consistently hanging up my tops, I hung up my tops and put away the rest of my laundry. Hanging up my tops in my closet got me to actually SEE what was in my closet, that led me to buy myself some new clothes which in made me feel better about myself and it all started with one tiny baby step outside my comfort zone.......It took 10 minutes every two weeks to hang up my tops in my closet but it led me to doing other good things for myself.

That's it, very tiny baby steps.

Also it's important to really look at what you are avoiding and why you are avoiding it. I found that many of the things I was avoiding were things that I did not want to be doing in the first place. I was replaying the old tape of what my dad thought I should be doing. I was avoiding writing checks to pay my bills and mailing them in. I saw my dad write checks to pay bills and I saw his disdain for using the computer for this. I had to find my own way to the things I had to do . I pay bills either by phone or online and I rarely miss a payment. Some things I thought I was avoiding were part of my past reality and not part of my present reality and I didn't want them to be part of my present reality.

It's very difficult on a good day, but it is possible to find your way to your big, wide ocean.

I hope this helped.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I avoid like crazy. I am working on that. I recently took a trip to visit my mom, the first time in about 4 years! I'm so proud of myself! I have been setting little goals for myself, as @Phoenix 8 said, and I am moving along. I make myself chat with the neighbors and run errands instead of putting them off. It makes me so tired.