Weird, scary experience i don't understand

[Keen]

I could use some insight about a weird and scary thing that just happened to me. I don't know if this is the right forum to put this, because I'm not sure what happened.
I was reading an old journal from when I was younger--not even from a timeframe when traumatic things happened--it was benign entries about picnics and fun times. Suddenly, I felt like this hot acid was going through my veins and then it like, stopped, like when butter hardens after being put in the fridge, and just stayed there, hot and burning in my veins. And along with these sensations (which didn't feel real physically, if that makes sense, but thats just the best way I can describe what it felt like), I felt this complete helplessness and hopelessness and aloneness and like the only answer was suicide, and it was the same feelings I used to have as a teenager when I was completely stuck and without help due to OCD and PTSD controlling my life.
I was able to come out of it most of the way by doing some yoga, but I don't feel quite all the way here mentally still, my brain feels that fuzzy way it can when you dissociate so I guess I dissociated during that scary experience, but I just have never had this happen and wonder if its some type of flashback or dissociation? It was terrifying and I never want to experience anything like that again. Has anyone experienced anything similar or have any explanation to help me understand what happened?
Thanks

 

[Muted]

I'm not sure exactly what that was, but I know that you can experience body sensations from trauma being triggered. Does that link to your trauma?

I know I've experienced feeling like I've gone back in time and am reliving it to some degree. Good job for doing yoga, it might take a little time to feel somewhat normal again. Getting some rest really seems to help me even if it's just a short nap, it kind of resets me.

 

[Keen]

I'm not sure if it is linked to any specific traumatic experience, it did remind me of ways I felt when I was younger and struggling with a lot of things, but not about a specific event. It was a really strange and scary experience and I wish I understood what it was and why it happened.

 

[Keen]

I did some research and found an article online that talked about "emotional flashbacks." I had never heard about them before, but it really seemed to be describing what I experienced yesterday.

 

[shatter eyes]

I could use some insight about a weird and scary thing that just happened to me. I don't know if this is...

I had this feeling too. I was told it is a response from activating old memory neurons in brain. The brain tries to make sense and organize the information.

Most of all i was told that our physiological response is an indicator that what stirred up the neurons is important to us.
A time of significance and meaning.

Now i am sad and my head burns thinking. Time to hide for me.

 

[hithere]

Yes I've had this happen. the description of what your veins felt like sounds very similar to what I experience a lot and it's a form of dissociation for me. Also this sounds like what I experience when I am "Back There" I have started to use these flashbacks to heal. As I feel what I felt, I then start looking for "stuck points" that formed in that state of being when it originally happened so as to challenge any stuck points.

 

[Keen]

Yes I've had this happen. the description of what your veins felt like sounds very similar to what I ex...

Thanks for replying! It feels good that someone else understands that "veins" feeling.
What are stuck points? I've never heard that term. Is that like cognitive distortions?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I haven't experienced that veins feeling, but I know that my flashbacks are easily triggered by reminders of the past. Even when the memory feels like a good one, my throat might start closing up or my heart will race, and just like that, my body is back in that other time.

 

[Keen]

Its strange that non-trauma-related memories can still trigger things, huh?

 

[BlueOrange]

My most upsetting flashbacks relate to happy memories; I found this very confusing for a long time. The theory of Structural Dissociation allowed me to make sense of it. I'm afraid that if I allow myself the happy memories, I will open the door to the Bad Things.

The good news is that if I stabilize myself we'll, then the next time I remember those things, it's not as disabling as it was the first time.

 

[Keen]

My most upsetting flashbacks relate to happy memories; I found this very confusing for a long time....

Huh, thats really interesting and makes some sense to me. Thanks!

 

[Ocin]

So glad I read this. I've had that same feeling since my teens, also associated with SI. For me it is searing or burning running proximal to distal on both forearms simultaneously.
I learned what it was during an EMDR session. For me it was an incredible "aha!" It was body memory of pain from abuse with emotional flashback of pure terror from neglect-- something horrible was happening and my mother wasn't there _at_all_. And being that small, that scared, that physically hurt, and without comfort or care was pretty much as close to death as I can imagine. And it makes sense we might consider hastening our demise if we don't realize those are old sensations and old memories, and they are frozen in a younger self that hasn't gotten the update that we are bigger and safer now.