So I divorced my ex husband almost 2 years ago. We got back together twice in that time. I stupidly bailed him out last year and it wasn't cheap. He had finally had his pretrial in March and they offered him a plea so he took it and has been in jail the last two months. Has to do 3 of six months. He gets out the day before our daughter's birthday.
So I had written him a letter to say I'm not answering when he calls because I'm completely done finally. He used our daughter's medical condition to have the judge release some of the bail to him (it's been in his name) and he used it to get high before he went to jail. He's a horrible meth addict. So I wrote him after he tried calling. I said he can call when he gets out and video chat with our daughter but I'm not hearing any of his crap. Then I got a letter from him saying "I bet you're mad about that money" and then said "I have mixed feelings about you because, well, you never had my back." I never had HIS back? Yep everyone was lining up to bail him out. Everyone covered his ass so he wouldn't get in trouble for writing checks on my account. Or was always there defending him to my family and sometimes HIS family. I used to be on the "addiction is a disease" bandwagon and would say "he's sick and once he's sober things will be fine." Yeah he is probably mentally ill. Something has to be wrong or he's just a plain old ass. He just went on and on about himself and how he loves all his kids and blah blah.
I wrote another letter and let him have it about how he's made me feel the last five years. Luckily we were only married a year. But he's milked half my savings out of me. I have had two loans because of him to pay credit cards. I have a maxed out credit card that I'm working on. I had to trade in my 4 1/2 year old car because he ran it down and racked up miles and this was after I dropped $2100 on it. He never has gone to many of our daughter's medical appointments. He always took off when she's in the hospital because he can't "handle" it and didn't think she needed him. She's almost 3 now. He has three other kids with two women. One he was married to before me. One was a one night stand when he was 19.
Then today I get a letter and omg has his attitude changed now that he has less than a month left. It was all "I love you and miss you" and "I'm sorry I didn't realize I was hurting you" and that he didn't think I had feelings and I was just pissed all the time. Um I was pissed but I was hurt too. It was all the things I'm sure he thinks I want to hear. Because his last letter he said "It seems like you always wanted me to fail." Yeah everyone wants their husband to fail at life and disappoint their kids. But I read that and I laughed at most of it and then I think about it and I cry because it pisses me off. I wish he would just leave me alone. I'm not going through this again. Every time he gets sober he says this crap and then it never lasts. I'm not wasting my life on him anymore. If he thinks he's moving back in here he's crazy. And says he'll give me what's left of the bail and pay some every month for the rest he owes me. How's he gonna do that without a job? And if he gets a job how will he after child support is taken out?
He just doesn't get it. You can't just be a douchebag and then apologize like it's ok. "I'm going to prove to you and get our family back." What family? The one where I provided everything for us, our daughter and his other kids? I paid his child support for like 3 years otherwise we couldn't see the kids. I paid for their birthdays, Christmases. I pay all the bills. He did nothing but spend and if he didn't get his way, it was my fault. He verbally attacked me. Every time we break up he calls me ugly and fat and nobody wants me. I just laugh because I know it's not true. I know if I tried I could find someone but I don't have time! Our daughter is on dialysis waiting for a kidney. I don't trust him with her why the hell would I bring some strange man into our lives especially now?
I just want to shake him and knock the rocks into place in his brain. I used to hold onto "someday he'll change" but he won't. And IF he does good for him. I hope my daughter can have her father. But until I see it I won't believe it.
So I had written him a letter to say I'm not answering when he calls because I'm completely done finally. He used our daughter's medical condition to have the judge release some of the bail to him (it's been in his name) and he used it to get high before he went to jail. He's a horrible meth addict. So I wrote him after he tried calling. I said he can call when he gets out and video chat with our daughter but I'm not hearing any of his crap. Then I got a letter from him saying "I bet you're mad about that money" and then said "I have mixed feelings about you because, well, you never had my back." I never had HIS back? Yep everyone was lining up to bail him out. Everyone covered his ass so he wouldn't get in trouble for writing checks on my account. Or was always there defending him to my family and sometimes HIS family. I used to be on the "addiction is a disease" bandwagon and would say "he's sick and once he's sober things will be fine." Yeah he is probably mentally ill. Something has to be wrong or he's just a plain old ass. He just went on and on about himself and how he loves all his kids and blah blah.
I wrote another letter and let him have it about how he's made me feel the last five years. Luckily we were only married a year. But he's milked half my savings out of me. I have had two loans because of him to pay credit cards. I have a maxed out credit card that I'm working on. I had to trade in my 4 1/2 year old car because he ran it down and racked up miles and this was after I dropped $2100 on it. He never has gone to many of our daughter's medical appointments. He always took off when she's in the hospital because he can't "handle" it and didn't think she needed him. She's almost 3 now. He has three other kids with two women. One he was married to before me. One was a one night stand when he was 19.
Then today I get a letter and omg has his attitude changed now that he has less than a month left. It was all "I love you and miss you" and "I'm sorry I didn't realize I was hurting you" and that he didn't think I had feelings and I was just pissed all the time. Um I was pissed but I was hurt too. It was all the things I'm sure he thinks I want to hear. Because his last letter he said "It seems like you always wanted me to fail." Yeah everyone wants their husband to fail at life and disappoint their kids. But I read that and I laughed at most of it and then I think about it and I cry because it pisses me off. I wish he would just leave me alone. I'm not going through this again. Every time he gets sober he says this crap and then it never lasts. I'm not wasting my life on him anymore. If he thinks he's moving back in here he's crazy. And says he'll give me what's left of the bail and pay some every month for the rest he owes me. How's he gonna do that without a job? And if he gets a job how will he after child support is taken out?
He just doesn't get it. You can't just be a douchebag and then apologize like it's ok. "I'm going to prove to you and get our family back." What family? The one where I provided everything for us, our daughter and his other kids? I paid his child support for like 3 years otherwise we couldn't see the kids. I paid for their birthdays, Christmases. I pay all the bills. He did nothing but spend and if he didn't get his way, it was my fault. He verbally attacked me. Every time we break up he calls me ugly and fat and nobody wants me. I just laugh because I know it's not true. I know if I tried I could find someone but I don't have time! Our daughter is on dialysis waiting for a kidney. I don't trust him with her why the hell would I bring some strange man into our lives especially now?
I just want to shake him and knock the rocks into place in his brain. I used to hold onto "someday he'll change" but he won't. And IF he does good for him. I hope my daughter can have her father. But until I see it I won't believe it.
