Haven't left the apartment in few days except for groceries

[SeekingAfrica]

I work from home, which is usually not an issue. But I'm having some tough weeks so this week, after Tuesday night I didn't schedule anything social and I only went out to buy groceries once or twice. Which doesn't even count so much because I have a small store at the bottom of my building, so it barely counts as going out.

Should I worry? At first I thought it was a good idea, because I was busy and tired and triggered, but now it's really starting to worry me that I'll start not feeling the need to go out or something. I don't know, being triggered is already enough, but this is starting to feel weird even for me.

 

[Gadgie]

Welcome to the site SA, I'm just the opposite now, as I have just started going out over the past few months! Before that I couldn't even go out at all, for about a year I had zero confidence, mood swings and deep depression.

In fact, the only time I left the house, was to go shopping for food, and I even had to build up the courage to do that?

Sometimes, I would go for two weeks without seeing or talking to anyone, it was a bad period in my life, that I don't want to go through ever again.

But gradually over time, I fought it, and forced myself to go out, and now I even look forward to going out. It can be done, it you have to fight for it, good luck.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

How does it feel for you to get out of the house? Perhaps you could walk just a little bit (don´t even have to go anywhere) and see how that feels. I often don´t have a need to get out of the house, which sometimes is good - it gives me a chance to sleep and calm down - but staying indoors for too long can exacerbate / be symptomatic of depression. Getting some natural light is important.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

How does it feel for you to get out of the house? Perhaps you could walk just a little bit (don´t even h...

Actually it feels good, usually. And eventually makes me feel better. The reason I haven't been out is that I have been having too much flashbacks and anxiety and ...when I'm going through the flashbacks staying inside makes me feel safe, plus I can't physically move. But when I have a lot of them in short period of time, like few times a day for few days, I'm just too exhausted. Like, even simple daily tasks like dishes seem too much to process, and even going to the store seems too far.

The few times I've been out at first I feel like I've been sick for a long time, like weak or whatever. So this one isn't social anxiety or depression, though both have previously kept me inside. But I was just distrought and exhausted from trying to deal with memories. And for the time being I can't afford therapy at least for a month more, so I had to just do as much as I can to deal with it on my own. I talked to some friends, slept a lot, had many flashbacks and panic attacks last week, but after I vented it out enough and journaled and so on, it's finally settling down. So yesterday I've been out a bit and I'm slowly getting back on track. It does feel like I was sick or something last week, which is fine, having few days and dealing with that, but the only really bad part of it, I guess, is that I can't yet control whether or not it will happen again or not. Last week was pretty much a regular week until I got really triggered.

 

[The Albatross]

"Should I worry?" No. Are you looking/scanning again for things to worry about now?

I think though the opportunity is how hard it is not only to engage and solve a life problem but to disengage from one when the crisis is lessened or over.

 

[One step at a time]

For me? Staying at home/not needing to go out for a while, especially after a period of feeling overwhelmed, is no big deal. If I start to actively avoid going out when I actually need to? Time to get my butt out the door at least twice a day every day, even just for a quick walk.

Sending support.

 

[illusionist]

Going to the store, and seeing to your need for food etc counts for a great deal, in my book.

I'd start to worry if I've got to ask myself when was the last time I ate, and realise that I can't remember.....then its serious kick up the rear time.

Having a few days of being in my own space has become my norm....don't fight it, don't worry about it..just let it be.

As you have shown, you are now getting out a bit and getting back on track....so you are over the worst. You have done it this time, so no reason to believe that you can't, the next time.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

"Should I worry?" No. Are you looking/scanning again for things to worry about now?

I think thou...

I think it's anxiety talking. I always have this self-conscious part where I overthink what would others think about my actions. Like: 'she hasn't left her house in X time, what is wrong with her?" Sometimes I end up feeling bad about doing things I need to do just because they don't feel like what I "should" be doing. ...also I think just the last weeks got me in that state of mind where anxiety overflows and I become very critical and negative. I'm trying to work on meditation/mindfulness now to vent that out.