How can i not dissociate / advice please

[Holly5]

Hi all,
I'm new to this I am 18 years old and currently undergoing trama therapy for childhood abuse. I constantly find my self dissociating in sessions and 'freezing' I also lose my voice a lot and can't say what I want to say, and so I find impossible to talk about my abuse. I am desperate to 'heal' and to live my life to the full. I am going to university in September so it's really important that I get my head sorted before then and I have anorexia which my T thinks it's very much and effect of years of abuse but I need to try and gain weight / be partially recovered in order to survive at university! Anyway that's way if topic, does anyone have any advice how not to dissociate and how to find the words / ability to talk about trauma? I would love someone to relate too as I feel so alone in all of this. Thank you so much for reading it means a lot x

 

[WishfulThinking123]

Hey there! Well first of all, I am very reserved and also find myself wanting to talk about trauma or different things but, literally cannot force myself to talk so I can definitely relate. What has helped me is I started journaling a few months ago and now I will show my T journal entries and when I go into session I hand it to her and she reads it silently and then the door is open for discussion without me actually having to initiate the conversation. Also, I know you feel like you are on a time crunch but, you cannot speed through trauma therapy. When I first found out I had these issues/PTSD I wanted to speed through recovery and I started pushing through and journaling every day. However, this was a big mistake and was too much I started becoming really depressed, huge anxiety attacks and just started not being able to cope. Work with your T on a good pace for you. In regards to the disassociation, what helps me is when you know a tough topic is being discussed and you feel yourself starting to "disappear" to the inside or float away tell yourself that you are going to stay there and look at different objects in the room such as the carpet, couch, how the couch feels, etc...anything to "ground" yourself. Hope I helped even a little bit :) *Hugs*

 

[anonymous]

does anyone have any advice how not to dissociate and how to find the words / ability to talk about trauma?

Dissociation from my experience is your brain's way of surviving and coping with trauma. I see it as the brains way of protecting itself in order to survive the trauma. I think the way to lessen the dissociation is to work through the trauma. I think it's vital to work with a therapist who is safe and aware of the trauma and dissociation. It's extremely important that they're aware of what's going on, because if they're not it can cause more damage.

Have you tried writing? I sometimes have a difficult time verbalizing and writing helps me.

You're not alone, hang in there.

 

[Friday]

I remember when I was first diagnosed with PTSD... I had a very heated argument with my doc that I needed this shit dealt with in 2 months. He kinda laughed. Yeah. Took me about 5 years.

Which does not mean you won't be able to start school in the fall.

More that I would strongly recommend sitting down with your therapist and working out a treatment plan that includes your leaving for school in the fall (and continuing treatment). So that you guys can lay out what's most important for you to work on in the months you have, that will also help you deal with the added stresses of school & major life change. So you aren't getting to school & falling apart under new stresses, or getting so symptomatic over the summer that you can't handle going to school. Proactive.