Emdr Retraumatization: Hope For Recovery?

[Girlgirlgirl]

Okay, so it would be helpful if people who have done EMDR & have had similar situations can say if they recovered from a similar situation. I have a dissociative disorder from childhood & ptsd from a rape. I believe for patients with a complex history, they are supposed to process their trauma in a chronological order using EMDR. My therapist started with the most recent event. I have been working on it for the past year & in some ways my symptoms have gotten a lot worse. PTSD is supposed to be cured in an average of 10 sessions with EMDR (unless it's complex). During this time, my therapist has been teaching me to "fear" more and learn crime prevention (way more than 10, probably 50 or so). Recently, he said I needed to be raped to learn how to fear rape properly, otherwise I never would have learned. (These are retraumatizing things to do to a rape victim, as any other survivors would know). Anyways, at first I thought my symptoms were getting better. Now, I can see that they are much worse, in some ways, I have worse ptsd now than before. I fired him, for obvious reasons. But I am worried-I hope that with a new therapist, what he did can be undone-but can it? I've read some scary things about when "EMDR goes bad" & I hope that the next therapist can bring my ptsd down, because he has really retraumatized me & made it a lot worse. I think about the trauma a lot more than I ever did before, but it's in a different way. I don't avoid it like I did before, but I am now obsessed with it, as I was not prior to this happening. Honestly, him teaching me to fear more was pretty unnecessary, because I was actually fearing irrationally due to ptsd and needed to bring it down. Now, I constantly feel like I'm going to be attacked at any moment, which I did not before. I don't know what to do, I just hope what he did can be undone. I am very worried-anyone else been able to overcome retraumatizing therapy?

 

[claire east]

Okay, so it would be helpful if people who have done EMDR & have had similar situations can say if...

M just starting that kinda pherapy now it's my only hope

 

[Neverthesame]

(Just in case it comes across the wrong way, none of the angry ranting is directed at you @Girlgirlgirl. I am glad you had the good sense to fire his ass. He should lose his license, assuming he even has one.)

PTSD is supposed to be cured in an average of 10 sessions with EMDR

If only it were true. Good on you for being optimistic, though it's not curable yet. Hopefully one day.

Now comes the shouty bit.

my therapist has been teaching me to "fear" more

What the f*ck is this moron doing?

This is quite literally the most ass backwards pile of horseshit I've ever seen fed to someone. PTSD is an anxiety disorder, why in the blue f*ck would you want to be more afraid? How the christ is that helpful?

The reason triggers are triggers is because you can not let go of something scary and awful. Did this moron also advise you to rub salt into a cut?

Recently, he said I needed to be raped to learn how to fear rape properly, otherwise I never would have learned.

What the f*ck was this supposed to mean?

You already were, you already know it's horrible. He deserves a swift kick in the balls just for that alone.

You know what else? I have never been raped, no idea what it is actually like. But I can say with certainty that I sure as f*ck don't want to have it happen to me.

I have worse ptsd now than before. I fired him,

I can see why that happened.

You fired him, HALLELUJAH!!

 

[Justmehere]

Ended for people with dissociation is a little harder than single event trauma and sometimes it can stir up more symptoms. All trauma therapies can do that. And yes, people can generally recover from this increase in symptoms.

What is more concerning though is not the EMDR but the therapist, who should lose his license. It does make sense why he started with the most recent event, as that is a way to ease into the work. However, even the claim that EMDR can cure any PTSD for anyone is bogus - there is no cure. Symptoms can go into full remission but someone claiming a cure for PTSD is a yellow flag. Everything else he was was a major red flag, and probably contributed to the increase in symptoms just as much as badly administered EMDR could.

EMDR is not for everyone, but there are many other very effective forms of trauma therapy out there. It may take time to find the right therapist and the right therapy. Studies have show that the single most important factor for the effectiveness of therapy is quality of the relationship between client and therapist. So find a theorist with a well researched therapy (EMDR being one of several) who you click with and feel comfortable with - and this itself will help begin the process of healing from what happened with this crappy therapist.

I'm so glad your fired him, and I hope you consider reporting him to the proper licensing board.

To help feel better sooner, learn all you can about mindfulness and grounding techniques - this will help your symptoms to not be so high, and it will help the process and work in therapy as well.

 

[Klo]

Wow that therapist sounds like a predator, glad you fired him. Major wtf.

My impression of EMDR is that it's supposed to allow the person to confront their biggest fears in a way in which the person is in control, safe and then has a positive, empowering outcome. The actual EMDR exercise is only one of several parts of the whole thing. First there is the matter of learning how to ground yourself, developing a strong and trusting therapeutic alliance with your therapist, establishing a safe environment, etc. Then the EMDR essentially activates your trigger response. THEN with the help of the therapist, you confront that fear and the situation, only in a state where you are empowered and in control, and you get through it in a victorious way. In a way yes you re-live the experience mentally/emotionally, but you also experience that the threat is over, that it can no longer hurt you and that you are now safe and in control.

IMO this is something that requires more than a 45 minute session, as well.

Where I think it can often go wrong is when your therapist has not yet established trust, has not taught you strong grounding skills, when there hasn't been the proper preparation, then they trigger you with the EMDR exercise and then shove you out the door. That is what happened to me, and yes it was re-traumatizing.

 

[7Cs]

I am so sorry you had that as a therapy experience. It's unacceptable and horrible. I am simply appalled.

I'm sure with the right therapist, this brainwashing will be able to be undone and you'll be able to work through your original traumas.

 

[Panda Bear]

The fact that you wish and have a desire to go back and retry the EMDR, is astounding!! Or any therapy for that matter!!!

I'm deeply saddened that this therapist hurt you. My experience with EMDR is very limited, I've only had two sessions before I had an accident that has since derailed our work. But in my understanding, we work in whatever memory is closest to the surface or casing the most strif at the time. I have a deeply embedded trust with my current T and have been working together for nearly 4yrs. Maybe if you go back, take it very slow and really work to rebuild that lost trust and relationship? Those grounding skills and coping skills NEED to not only be in place, but accessible. You really need to be able to draw on them and use them, a muscle and they need to be practiced.

Either way, I'm impressed you're giving it another go.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it's awesome that you kicked the bad therapist to the curb. It takes strength to stand up for yourself like that!

If EMDR doesn't work out for you, there are indeed other ways to process trauma. Please don't be discouraged. This is a setback, but the important thing is that you're moving forward and looking to find another therapist who can help you heal. Good luck!!

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

Thanks everyone for the validation, means a lot to me. Yeah it was very retraumatizing, i almost wonder if he did it on purpose and went for my triggers. Its hard when the people who are supposed to help end up being the ones to watch out for. But whatever I'll still keep trying, since trying is the only hope I have... I'm glad that I had enough ego strength to recognize it as wrong, it's a good sign;) I appreciate thoughts about therapeutic alliance, I honestly didn't like the guy and had weird feelings around him. But my insurance covers few trauma therapists, so I thought I should quit being so sensitive and just continue seeing him. Now I will recognize my feelings are important to help me find safe therapists! And I will make therapeutic alliance a paramount consideration for next EMDR therapist, lol.

 

[Patience1]

emdr is extremely helpful done by someone who is experienced/ it's another her aperitif partnership and should not make you feel in any way unsafe. My story has been complicated and so I've had quite a few emdr sessions. A qualified therapist will make sense and give you positive coping strategies. In addition to working with your therapist. The best person in Canada who has been one of the early pioneers is Clara Houston in Kelowna, British Columbia. Highly recommend getting in touch with her via email and having a Skype conversation. She will provide direction and may have USA contacts. She is excellent.

 

[gill63]

Re: emdr.

Had one session, never again! Look to your energy. Body energy flow from your energy centres, chakras. If your enery is not flowing as it can, this causes many physical and mental problems. Emdr closed my energy down, has disrupted my mind that was working perfectly. Edmr was done with a meditation of positive thought. I agreed because I believed is was a normal medutation. Now I work and struggle each day to regain my mind. Crystal therapy, a good spiriitual healer can help balance body energy. Emdr in my experience seeks to destroy and as far as i can see derives from mk ultra mind control programming. Balance your mind body and spirit. Would you engage in such a therapy if you felt better, had better thoughts, better controlled emotions, became more aware of the self and maintained body energy?
probably not . I kick myself for allowing myself to become weak with others life experiences and attitudes and alliwing edmr. We all have choice in life. How we think, words we say, actions made create who we are, where we are, what we have and get. To practice emdr i see short courses of a few hours if learning are offered. If people who do the courses have deep knowledge of the brain and body as a whole it will be interesting to know. Keep well, not longer give away your personal power . Take responsibility for your whole self and life, do not give away your personal power to anyone! think! If you fear and wonder if simething is good for you, then is it right for you? For when you do things you really want to do, there is no hesitation to do it. You just do it. The law of attraction, keep thinking the same thought and what you think, you attract to you. Positive attracts positive, negative attracts more negative.
Be well, the mind has a great power if its own to use for healing. I pray my mind will return.

 

[anonymous]

has disrupted my mind that was working perfectly

I gotta ask.
Why where you doing EMDR if nothing was wrong with you mentally?