Success, self-loathing & suicides in the news recently

[Beans]

Not always!

Have no idea what success and fame has to do with happiness.

I have been poor m...

Money makes life easier to the extent your needs are provided, it does no more good than that.

In the future, please read to the end of my sentence or my entire post before quoting 4 words out of context and misrepresenting what I said. (This reads as a bit snarky and I apologize for that, but i'm not sure how else to put it. Mods feel free to edit if necessary.)

 

[Mach123]

Happiness is an inside job.

 

[The Albatross]

Yup... so is healing and recovery.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

In the future

I will reply as I wish inside of forum rules.

I quoted that, that way, on purpose because money can complicate everything so "making life easier due to needs being provided for" - again, not always!

I stick by my orginal comment thank you.

 

[Mach123]

Ok so let's expand on it a little then. Maybe a one liner is a little too glib for the thread IDK. I sure would like to have some more money since we have been borderline impoverished all these years and living hand to mouth. (not borderline actually, really impoverished I never could really work) For about the last 12 years our living situation has been unstable, we had a whole bunch of children in a short period of time, two of which are severely handicapped I could go on and on. The bottom line though is, I recall distinctly just before I was married. I had some money, I was graduating from college, I was "sober" I was 29 or so and living with a room mate in an upscale suburb. There was a sporty car I thought I wanted it was a Datsun (I can't remember the model 340 zx?) and I wanted to get women. People looked at me years later you know with the problems I just touched on above (there are so many more) and they were like "how can you do that why aren't you guys divorced?" and you know what? I actually think I was less happy back then? I just had nothing, I was so empty (except my cptsd and csa which I didn't know about.) I don't know if I could be this happy if I had money lol. The preacher told me once a long time ago "maybe the Lord wanted you to be poor imagine if you could just send your family a check once a month and walk away?" Lots of rich guys do that. If you can afford it why not just start over? I'm married almost 30 years. If I could do it all over again I'd only change everything, but thank goodness I can't. : )

 

[Beans]

Happiness is an inside job.

Yup... so is healing and recovery.

So very true. Atm, I am overweight, have no close friends and have very little money- yet I'm the happiest I've ever been lol. Just by virtue of doing the inside work. The paradox is, of course, the more I do the inside work, the more weight I lose (self regulation ftw!) the less dissociated thus more present and more connected I feel and the more I feel a desire to work full time and be fully independent (so now I'm tackling that.) It's crazy! Inside work is hard, but it's the good stuff!:D

 

[Sideways]

Success is generally expected to raise one's confidence.

Yeh, maybe.

But, again, success isn't expected to cure mental illness.

:banghead:

 

[joeylittle]

I believe most people who kill themselves do so because of something external, past or present, that they can't change -- like abuse and it's after-effects (internal, but originating as external)

No. I'm sure this is true for some people, maybe even the majority of people with PTSD who suicide.

People with other diagnoses (depression, bi-polar, others) don't often have an external origination factor.

And people with developmental trauma (possible CPTSD folk) may never have perceived a separation between an external factor and their core beliefs. When abuse is early enough to completely shape your world view - then it doesn't really matter, does it?

People who suicide do so because they cannot see any other way out. Out of the pain, or pressure, or confusion, or symptoms...whatever is trapping them. And the sad thing is, it's most often a breakdown in perception - there are very few situations where the person is literally trapped. The feeling that nothing can change and you'll be suffering forever...that's symptoms, not reality. You can have those feelings even if millions of people love your music. Even if you are told over and over again that you are a great talent.

You won't be able to experience inner contentment - or even just inner acceptance - until you build it for yourself. Drugs can help you, therapy can help you, tangible support can help you. But millions of strangers thinking you are wonderful doesn't translate into you believing you are good.

If you do the work and start being able to use those messages as cognitive evidence that you are not worthless - well, then, yes. Positive recognition for your abilities or achievements will help reinforce everything else. But it's got to be there before it can be reinforced.

 

[digger]

From the man himself

I heard an interview this morning from February this year. I can't find the shorter version, but from about 8:50 in on this

Chester Bennington Live With JoJo

I've never understood why people have higher expectations of celebrities being able to handle the world and what it throws at them any better than the rest of us really. Success, money, fans etc - ok, money may give you access to a higher level of care, but none of it changes your vulnerability as a human being.

 

[The Albatross]

Thanks Digger for sharing that interview... worth the listen. Really candid about having a "hard time with life".

 

[Beans]

From the man himself

I heard an interview this morning from February this year. I can't find the shorte...

Thanks Digger! Ugh, I'm having a hard time listening to it though. So sad to hear him describe his struggles so very recently. :( I wish everyone was able to get the help they need.

 

[lostnconfused]

Thanks Digger! Ugh, I'm having a hard time listening to it though. So sad to hear him describe his struggles so very recently. :( I wish everyone was able to get the help they need.

Yeah. I felt the same: I couldn't believe how his nice, friendly and calm voice in interviews (giving an appearance of being happy) was belying his inner turmoil with himself.