What do you avoid at all costs?

[Changing4Best]

What do you avoid at all costs?

I figured I'd ask, since in this book I am reading "OVERCOMING TRAUMA AND PTSD" by Sheela Raja PhD it says that we PTSDers do a lot of avoiding. The book even has exercises in it that you can do to help you to overcome avoidance.

So what kinds of things do you avoid? Also, if I may ask, do you know why you avoid them??

One thing that the above mentioned book basically says (that I think we all need to know) is that it has been found that PTSD seems to be worse in those who regularly practice avoidance than in those who don't! So we need to get a handle on this!!! The author sites a study done by "Malta et al. 2009" as her source.

 

[Teasel]

Confluctuations / speaking up for myself

Because it went so badly when I was young

Actually and has continued to go badly.

Except in the case of my ex. He has actually heard some of what I have been saying in speaking up for myself...

 

[NewBeginnings]

Conflict - I hate conflict. Conflict with men is particularly difficult and conflict with my husband is almost impossible for me to handle.

Due to my need to avoid conflict- I avoid saying what I think so much so that I don't know what I want. This is most intense for me at home ( ironically, somehow I hold a management job that I seemingly do well- I have 2 very distinct parts to me)

Also - I avoid getting angry - I never get angry (at least outwardly) I am starting to see how I internalize it.

I also really avoid cleaning because I can't do that well and it brings up so many emotions that I am afraid to feel.

Guess I have some avoidant issues .... lol

 

[shimmerz]

life in general *heavy sigh*

 

[Teasel]

Confluctuations .

Conflict damnit

 

[Changing4Best]

I don't watch TV at all. I don't even own one, because the news is so distressing. I refuse to be tortured every night watching the evening news! And folks tell me, "You're not missing much." Many folks have said that to me. However, I did realize recently that one of the reasons I don't watch TV also is because sometimes things on it, even in the types of shows I like to watch, can trigger a panic attack in me. The last time I watched TV this happened to me and I have not watched it since.

There is not much else I avoid, except doing art as I used to. The results these days are so disappointing that I don't care to feel so disappointed by what I create, compared with what I used to be able to create, that I just would rather not do art any more. These hands just cannot do what they used to do 20 and 40 and even 60 years ago! My hands are numb and arthritic. So I avoid doing art, I guess.

I avoid table sugar, for health reasons and to protect what teeth I have left. Also, so as to watch my weight.

 

[Ronin]

At all cost? Nothing.

More than most? Doctors / bank clerks / uniformed personnel, unless it's different states ones and/or different nationals on duty here, then different rules.

Talking, as much as possible. More speaking than talking, but both.
Lately / past few weeks, kindness again. So goddamn untrustworthy & trustworthy only as a trap. Working on it.

 

[desiderata310]

Crowds. Crowded supermarkets, elevators where the only other occupant is a heavy set male.
So my plan is always to get my shopping done early/late or do without and just come off as extra healthy and always take the stairs

 

[Rumors]

Emotion...I avoid it with all cost...

 

[EveHarrington]

Relationships.

Nobody gets past the acquaintance level. Ever.

 

[Changing4Best]

I avoid housework. I hate cleaning and cooking. I do neither very often, like sometimes not at all. I will eat fresh foods mostly, like fruits, nuts and veggies, crackers, lunchmeats, cheese and rarely sometimes some eggs, which are really easy to cook. As to housework, I have someone who helps me with it mostly, though I will rinse out dishes and pots and pans a bit, using some watered down dish soap and a sponge that is anti-bacterial.

When I was a kid, I fell out of a tree and fractured my elbow. After that, my parents decided that we didn't have enough to keep us busy and "out of trouble" so they assigned us housework and chores to do to keep us busy and out of trouble. This felt like punishment, so now when I go to do any housecleaning I feel as if I am being punished. It is really hard to shake that feeling! Like impossible....

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I learned along the way that the harder I try to totally avoid stuff, the more it slaps me in the face in some way or another, so I stopped putting so much energy into the avoidance itself. I now try to go through it, around it, or over it rather than totally ignoring it. It's forced me to dive much deeper into the realms of self, and many other arenas, than I was ever comfortable with before. It doesn't always feel like a good thing, but I guess it is. It's landed me in pleasant places and circumstances that I thought were long since unattainable, and for that I'm grateful. It's also landed me in some really shitty experiences, but such is life, as it's all about the balance, or so I hear.