General Combat ptsd bf hypervigilance

[lonelyheart83]

my boyfriend has combat ptsd and was acting panicked/hyper for days. he all of a sudden was very angry out of nowhere. it lasted for literally days. it was the first time i have seen him like that. we've only been together for 4 months and i knew he had ptsd, but never saw this side of him before. he was mad about everything. he literally was grunting when i would speak. he was angry with me and started criticizing me. he had never done that before. he got paranoid about me and one of his old friends. he thought we were messing around behind his back. there has been NOTHING going on with me and this guy. he also got paranoid that a few other people close to him were talking about him behind his back. and i do not believe these people were talking about him because the story he told me makes no sense. he was highly paranoid and literally couldnt even catch his breath. he was in a state of constant anxiety and anger. he is normally extremely loving and sweet and he wasn't being lovey dovey during this time either. he was cold towards me. that was the hardest part for me. but he was just acting highly paranoid and literally dissecting everything! i went to the store and he questioned me about it over and over like he was trying to catch me in a lie. it was weird. it scared me because he was acting so angry towards me. and he was accusing me of things, and he is NEVER like that normally. anyways, so this side of him lasted for a few days. then it was gone. he was back to his normal self. thank god!! now he is all lovey dovey again and he isn't accusing me of anything or acting paranoid. after he was back to his old self, he told me that he felt like a piece of crap for the way he acted. i felt terrible for him when he was telling me how he feels when he is manic like that. i just wish i could take it away. i love him so incredibly much. he is in a very lengthy, extensive treatment program for ptsd and i can go to counseling with him eventually but not just yet. i have to wait until he is further in the program. i'm glad that he is ok with me going with him. right now he is still back to his old self but it was SO overwhelming when he wasn't himself. i know he can't help it but when i think about facing it again in the future, it scares me. he is going to take anger management classes though. i know that i want to be with him forever, so i know that i will have to deal with this for the rest of my life. and i will. we are planning to get married at the end of the year. he is a WONDERFUL man but i don't like who he is when his ptsd comes out. but he is doing everything he can to get better and i love him so much for that. but i'm just wondering if it's normal for someone to get paranoid to the point of accusing someone of affairs. the paranoia scares me. i'm just wondering if this is common :/

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, paranoia episodes can be a part of PTSD. I have them myself.

I think that at only 4 months in it's too early to be planning on getting married. Why the rush? I think you need to spend more time with him before deciding if you want to be with him forever.

The truth is that the good, the bad, the ugly...? It's all him. It's not a matter of the good stuff is him, the bad stuff is not him.

 

[lonelyheart83]

Yes, paranoia episodes can be a part of PTSD. I have them myself.

I think that at only 4 months...

thanks for replying. yea, most people think 4 months is too early to be talking marriage. but we wouldn't be actually getting married until like december/january. my parents got married after 6 months of dating and were married until my dad passed away (they were married for 26 years)...my dad was a vietnam combat vet with ptsd. so, you never know. but i won't lie...obviously being married to a combat vet with ptsd will have its share of struggle....but at the same time, i know that we love eachother and i don't want anyone else. he has made huge strides to get better since meeting me. in the past few months, he has gotten sober and decided to go to counseling (which are 2 things he has never done before). the hardest stuff for me will be watching him struggle and fall apart. it was so hard to see him dealing with the anxiety/hypervigilance. but i know that with therapy, that will get better. his doctor told him that it might take 2-3 years before he sees any improvement, but he is dedicated.

 

[Sighs]

Be aware that often with therapy things get worse before they get better. And once they do get better they don't stay better. PTSD is a cyclic disorder.

I am also the daughter of a combat vet now in a relationship with a combat vet. Its SO much harder being the partner than it was being the child. Feel free to PM me anytime.

 

[lonelyheart83]

Be aware that often with therapy things get worse before they get better. And once they do get better th...

yea, when he has his counseling sessions...it messes him up for a day or two. the last time, he had a full blown anxiety attack that lasted days. he never tells me the things he talks about in therapy. but i will eventually go with him, but he isn't ready for me to go with him yet. the road ahead will definitely be long, but i am dedicated to him. the good times that we have outweigh the stressful times. thank you for responding :)