News Me too?

[BlackbirdSinging]

Actress Alyssa Milano started the hashtag Me Too on twitter. It's a way for people to come forward and either tell their story or acknowledge that they are survivors of sexual violence. I've seen a couple of people on facebook post it. Many many many people have been posting it on twitter. Celebrities regular people like me and some men have chimed in. I applaud them for sharing and taking that stand.

For me personally my first thought was I don't want to. Then I thought maybe I should since telling was a huge issue for me and it took over a decade for me to do. So, I decided I wanted to. And then I changed my mind again. My ambivalence tells me I'm not ready.

Do I need everyone to know yes it happened to me too? Will it help me feel empowered? I can only speak for myself and right now I feel like what happened to me were traumatizing life changing experiences. And I'm not sure if I'm ready or if I want to say it openly on social media. No one is pressuring anyone else to say it but, I do feel that now is the time since it's trending. I'm just not ready. Yes I want to raise awareness. But, does that mean I have to speak up and speak out in that way and right now? What if for some reason I feel like I'm ready to say it 2 years from now?

How do you feel about posting Me Too? Have you posted it?

 

[anonymous]

My aunt posted it and I did too, neither of us knew one another had been sexually assaulted until now. I stayed silent for long enough ( 30 years ) and I am not going to keep quiet anymore. People still don't realise how common it is and I think it is good to bring to everyone's attention just how much of a problem it is.

 

[Cyberluddite]

I haven't posted it yet, largely because social media was getting so violently angry last year that I could barely function offline. It's been a year since I left Twitter, just over a year since I quit Facebook, and I left G+ this past May... and from what I've noticed (via the news websites, my fiancee, and in general), the whole seething rage thing has only gotten worse.

Do what you feel is right, when you decide it is the right time, @BlackbirdSinging . Focus on your own goals, on the here and now. There's an excellent TedXTysons presentation on YouTube (I closed my channels, but kept my viewer account) by Dr. Cal Newport, where he explains why social media causes many users to develop depression and social anxiety. :)

Whatever you decide to do (or not do), that is your Path. Anyone can recommend you do something but at the end of it all, you are the author of your own legacy. The best stories are often the ones lived by example.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I thought about creating a "Me Too" thread, so thank you for this. I was unhesitant when I posted, and then, within an hour, learned that 7 more of my friends had also done so. Another 10 the following day. I've a total of 68 friends on fb who are women. I feel fairly certain there may have been other friends who posted that I missed as much as I feel certain there are friends who are experiencing this as you've described @BlackbirdSinging.

I'm just not ready. Yes I want to raise awareness. But, does that mean I have to speak up and speak out in that way and right now? What if for some reason I feel like I'm ready to say it 2 years from now?

No, it does not! If you're ready to say it in 2 years, then do so and we can all join you in reminding others of the staggering prevalence of sexual assault and abuse. While I have to admit to feeling a degree of empowerment, it's social media and, as you say, a trend. So much more work needs to be done! I am glad you're taking care of yourself.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

There's already a "me too" thread floating around here somewhere, but I don't remember who posted it or which category it's in.

I remember posting the gist of my story way before it was "cool" to do so. Not a soul responded in any way. Nor are many comfortable talking one on one. Whereas most all of the other things I shared would at least get one "like" or a comment, if for nothing else, to debate with, agree with, or try to argue what I shared. That spoke volumes to me about what I was choosing to spend energies on and the methods I was using to spend said energy.

I used to be an avid user of social media, feeling like I was doing my "civic duty" in sharing what I was discovering along the way about myself, and how to best care for myself as I flipped the script on my own health, in hopes of it reaching another desperate soul who may need to hear it. Beep. Wrong answer.

But once I became much more real with myself and others, fewer folks wished to engage and it felt like I was dumping all of my precious energies into an empty space where it was pretty useless in the overall grand scheme of things, when I could be putting it to much better use by continuing to enhance and act upon what I've learned along the way.

I truly hope people find genuine support amidst the next "cool" (un)social media thing to do. If not, I hope their perceived group of "friends" help catch them when they fall.

 

[trying to heal]

What an apt thread ... I posted a #metoo today on FB and it kinda blew up in my face.

My head is all over the place... I just wrote a reply and managed to screw it up ...

I spent ages agonising if I should or not and decided it was for a good cause raising more awareness re the prevalence of SA in society so decided to go ahead.

A few hours went by and I had received a few likes and sad emoji reactions to my post and then out of the blue, I received a phone call from my brother. In a rather abrupt manner he asked why I had posted that on social media, and if it was true, why was this the first time he was hearing about it. He asked me for more details and I froze. I managed to stammer out a few words like no no i dont want to talk about it. He then went on to ask if I was getting treatment. I think he has forgotten that I was in a sub acute mental ward for a month at the beginning of the year. Yes Im getting treatment. He then again asked for more details and I said no I was not comfortable talking about it. He then blasted me saying If I was so uncomfortable why did I post it on social media for everyone to see.

I have been so numb all day ... I feel like I have noone I can talk to about this. I feel like I am back in a very bad place and completely vulnerable again.

I had no idea that posting two words on social media could cause so much turmoil.

 

[anonymous]

@trying to heal your brother was insensitive and ignorant for doing that to you, almost feels like victim blaming

 

[Deleted member 41765]

@trying to heal Wow. I feel very angry on your behalf and so sorry this was the result of your post! It does seem to me that your brother engaged in a bit victim blaming. Something similar happened to me about a decade ago when I attempted to tell my brother what had happened to me. He basically called me "crazy". I was devastated!

What you posted was courageous. And, while I struggle with vulnerability myself, please look around and notice, you are not in that physical place. I'm so so glad you reached out here (proof of your ability to protect yourself). Feel free to send me a pm or keep posting here for support!

 

[Justmehere]

The Me Too hashtag is about sexual harassment as well as sexual assault - it includes everything from being cat called to rape.

I don't think anyone should feel pressured to post Me Too because others are doing it. The tag itself is so common because there are so many idiots out there.

 

[EveHarrington]

@trying to heal Wow. I feel very angry on your behalf and so sorry this was the re...

No. Not victim blaming.

Not in the least.

Can't you understand why someone would be upset that a sibling couldn't come to them with something so serious yet can post it for the world to see?

Look at things from another point of view.

Not victim blaming!

That's the problem with posting on social media. It's a very personal thing posted in a very public, non personal way.

I think MANY people are going to post, not really thinking of what could happen.

This is highly personal stuff. I think I'd be a bit put off if I saw that my sister posted a me too (beyond sexual harassment i.e. cat calls). Wait....what?!? You couldn't tell me a personal thing like this but you can tell the world?!? Yes, it cheapens things. (I have had this view about social media posts for a long time.)

 

[Deleted member 41765]

No. Not victim blaming.

That is your perspective.

 

[EveHarrington]

That is your perspective.

Tell me where you see the victim blaming?

Or are you a perpetual victim who sees victim blaming everywhere you go?