Do you have core beliefs that don't bother you, but concern others?

[Friday]

One of the things I've come to notice here on the forums is how much some things I know to be true (about myself), and have neither desire nor interest in changing... Deeply disturb others.

In theory? That might indicate a problem.

Or it might not. It might just illustrate how people are different, and choose to work on different things they don't like about themselves, or their lives.

What do you think?

 

[Sideways]

Sometimes it’s just plain old insight: (as a benign example: insert any quality you like) I know I don’t believe in astrology. For other people they might really struggle with that and want to change it. But personally I’m ok with being an astrology cynic. Doesn’t cause me (a) dysfunction, or (b) distress. No problem.

But the core beliefs that were/are my biggest problem? I was more than comfortable with them, I was flat out proud to believe them. And the difficulty was that as far as I could see, those beliefs weren’t responsible for any of my distress or dysfunction. To the contrary, I would have argued they were the thing keeping me functional at all.

Like: I’m a filthy toxic sl#t. That’s been central to my self concept for most of my life. And knowing that about myself didn’t just make me feel safe, I honestly believed that having that “insight” into myself was my one redeeming feature. If I’m the poisonous demon in the room, at least I’m aware that I’m the poisonous demon in the room. At least I can protect people from my toxicity. Phew! Thank goodness I’m clear about that core belief.

It probably seems obvious to the rest of the world how distorted that belief is. But when it’s a core belief, that doesn’t count for much. In my mind, I can not only prove it to be correct, it’s also the only logical explanation for my life. I genuinely believed that holding onto that belief made me a better person.

At some point, that basically meant that I had to take it on pure faith that I was wrong, despite all my evidence to the contrary. And despite how that core belief had kept me alive, over and over.

You are the very best expert on who you are. That’s got to be the default position. But you have ptsd. You know there’s suffering in your life that doesn’t need to be there, and that you can recover from. So you find someone that you have a huge amount of respect for and trust in: if they’re telling you “This is the problem”, maybe they’re onto something...?

 

[scout86]

In theory? That might indicate a problem.

It might. Depending on the issue. What I've come to realize, over the past few years is that the challenge is to figure out when it's a "problem", like what @Ragdoll Circus was talking about, and when it's just "people being different".

I'm more inclined to talk about stuff these days, than I used to be. I'm finding there are times when I make a comment, that I think nothing of, and the person I'm talking to (even my T) reacts like "that's horrible!" (Not so much angry as sad. I hate it when I make my T cry!) I'm thinking "It's nothing but a thing." They think it's in some way awful. I don't get it. (shrug)

So, I think what you're talking about is a real thing, and I think it could work either way. The trick it to tell the difference.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Good question. I think we'll all never be totally in sync regardless of the scene simply because one (wo)man's hell is obviously another (wo)man's paradise, so to speak. I also think that's a good thing in many instances.

As I've learned more about my health through my experiences, and many other things I never knew I needed to learn, my core beliefs have certainly changed, as my life clearly depended on it.

It's created a huge gap where there once was none in several arenas, but I learned that some of those gaps are very necessary for me to finally be able to enjoy the quality of wellness that I had repeatedly been told wasn't possible and that I'd just have to get used to my suffering. I also vividly remember how crazy I thought the folks trying to share similar helpful messages with me before I was ready to hear them sounded back in the day, and now I'm one of them. lol

In all of my experiences, I've always felt like the odd one out, but I have to say it feels weird as f*ck to still be thought of as way too extreme/out there/weird/whatever you want to call it now that I've found the most healthy and effective ways (for me) ever in managing multiple physical and mental health symptoms I've struggled with for decades.

But, there again, one (wo)man's helpful treatment is very likely another (wo)man's side effect/financial/unproductive/even more harmful hell, so we're back to square one. I'm lucky to have healing folks around who barter, and I try to pay things forward every chance I get, and hopefully do so in the kindest ways possible. I wish I would have had someone share all the stuff I've learned when I was younger...but I've also learned one must reach their own lessons in their own ways and times...all I can really ever do is plant seeds and keep taking good care of self.

I find it a bit sad, sometimes comical, and rather deeply concerning that very few, if any folks were worried about my state of being when I remained morbidly obese suffering from side effects of many meds and tons of endocrine disruptors I was using and breathing/smelling everyday, and remained inwardly miserable for most of my adult life, but now that I'm in both a physically and mentally improved state of being, they openly express concern about protein and shit. lol

My loved ones were some of the main contributors to my misery, unintentionally and unknowingly at the time, as they were also consuming what they'd been taught to be necessary and "safe" to have around and ingest.

I could binge eat like a mofo, drink gallons of soda each day, eat almost a whole half gallon of ice cream late at night, or a whole bag of chips and often go back for seconds and thirds and no one said a damn word other than to repeatedly compliment the chef with a round of belching and burping. Sighs.

Reminds me of the Patch Adams movie about his "excessive happiness". Can't be having that shit, it seems. Ass backwards happenings, from where I stand in the peanut gallery of life, in a less than ideal world. Regardless of where we stand, it is what it is and likely always will be as his-story keeps repeating itself. Cheers!

 

[asadafagahajakal]

One of the things I've come to notice here on the forums is how much some things I know to be true (abou...

I’m convinced that things that concern people really shouldn’t be a concern. I have no problem with dying tomorrow, because I know tomorrow’s never promised.

One that barely bothers me but has bothered people I know is if you blow my trust, good luck calling me a friend. I forgive quickly but I refuse to trust someone who’s betrayed me.

 

[mumstheword]

I think my belief about the world and the people in it disturb or would disturb plenty of people. I don't think The world's as safe as some people believe it to be but then other things I'm not so afraid of are things many people are probably very afraid of.

I think trauma can open your eyes in some ways, that if you havent been through it, you can sleep walk through life a bit more than I, and people like us have the luxury of,

but the other side of the coin, is that it can distort our/my perception and I still have to work out what's a genuine thing to be wary of, avoid, face as a potential danger, and what's paranoia, hysteria, propaganda or lies, manipulation and deception or my hypervigilant habituation.

I'm still so unsure of a lot of my own world view and cultural lenses.

I desparately want to live in a more natural less-peopled place because I haven't been raised or conditioned to feel safe around people, in general, but at the same time, I want to be an intergrated, included and empowered societal member who has overcome a lot of marginalization and can contribute from this unique vantage point.

 

[Freida]

Yep. Yep. Yep.

some of the things I KNOW to be true drive my nearest and dearest nuts. They see my world differently than I do and want me to see it their way . But I know that they are delusional.(says the one with ptsd. )

Sometimes I cooperate and allow they might be right and some times they are smoking crack. But I've found that it makes them feel better if I will at least attempt to see what they are saying. I figure it's the least I can do for those who have stuck by me all this time. Does it change me? Sometimes. But even if it doesn't I found its ok to consider their opinion

 

[Gamera3000]

I don't necessarily believe that people with PTSD are sick or need to get over it, even though I recognize that I have PTSD and I can admit that interferes with my ability to function in many normal life activities. That gets in the way with my ability to move forward in therapy, which is why I haven't gone in awhile. I kind of feel like if you have been involved in an unusual event, you can't expect to go back to being a usual person. And other people can't expect that of you either. But I guess you also can't walk around with people automatically knowing that you're not one of them.

 

[ms spock]

People have always told me that I am way, way, way too harsh with myself, and that I am terribly hard on myself. I thought I needed to be. But then I got to see that there was some validity to what they were saying, and that my self hatred, corrosive self doubt and being so incredibly savage with myself might actually not be a good thing, and might be holding me back. I still really struggle with it, and most times I ring a crisis line they will start with that is just giving myself a really hard time, or somesuch. I don't know I don't listen or take in a lot of what other people say as well, so it is really hard for me to know what concerns other people.

 

[The Albatross]

Largely for me it's a question of my own personal standards, how much or not I value relationships, and what my life choices are. Be back later (just got in from out of town).

 

[Go Hungry]

Well, I'm totally psychotic, but it's in a way that "they" can't do anything about. I traffic with gods. I don't talk about it, that often, but people know something is up when you stare at the moon and laugh at the sun. It bothers them. One thing I dislike about our age of western rationality is that folks just don't respect the mad like they used to. We're troublesome, and tell them things they don't want to hear. I ran from it for 20 years, but now it is my greatest source of comfort. And it doesn't help me pay the bills. *hangs head in shame*

 

[whiteraven]

I don't necessarily believe that people with PTSD are sick or need to get over it, even though I rec...

Oh. This. Totally this.