Putting off grounding

[Freemartin]

Some more thoughts.
This theme has really been bugging me. I came up with one more explanation. Here goes:

We humans have these two modes or settings.
One is the peacetime everyday life mode in which we focus primarily on non-threatening stuff. In this mode it's relatively easy to regulate our emotions and alertness.
The other mode is the one that's used in the face of acute threat. It's characterised by hypervigilance, focus on immediate survival, readiness to fight/flee etc.

So, when we are experiencing hypervigilance, anxiety, flashbacks or other fun stuff that goes with PTSD, we are basically operating a system designed to ensure our survival. The subjective experience in these moments is that we actually are threatened. We might rationally know that's not the case, but these rationalisations rarely have any significant effect on the agitated state. Then we might remember those grounding techniques and tools for regulating our emotional states. Most of them are based on, or include, toning down one's alertness and vigilance.

Well, guess what, when you feel threatened you don't wanna do that. Of course we don't want to make ourselves less prepared for bad stuff when we feel that's headed our way. We want to stay alert and vigilant.

I'm sure this is one of the reasons I often find it impossible to use my grounding tools. (The ones which include getting more aware of my present surroundings tend to backfire - I'll just attribute my emotional state to the thoroughly benign surroundings so I start to freak out because there is a cup of coffee on the table or sh*t like that.) I need to find ways to keep my cool even though I'm feeling threatened. I need to focus on not doing bad things while being hypervigilant. For now, I'll focus on that. Only when I'm not acutely losing my sh*t I can start to lower my vigilance.

Does this make sense?

 

[Teasel]

Does this make sense?
..

Totally, I'm exactly the same.

 

[BM2A]

I put off grounding. Ive become aware I do this because when im not grounded i dont feel my emotions so much. When i do grounding they all come flooding in. And sometimes I just dont want this

 

[ms spock]

So, I've been working on grounding to keep from dissociating for around 9 months now, and I'm slowly getting better at it. I've been trying to ground throughout the day instead of just a reactionary thing to dissociating, which does seem to work.

That is a tremendous amount of work that you are doing/ have been doing these last 9 months. Congrats. That is really a solid thing to be doing.

But, lately I've started getting a bit stubborn about the whole thing and not always grounding when I need to.

It is hard when this type of stuff comes up in yourself, I find it very hard in myself.

I know it's dumb because it only makes my dissociating worse and I will inevitably have to ground.

I don't think it is dumb, but if it is dumb, then I am dumb right along with you as well. Have you looked at Kristin Neff's Self Compassion website? She has everything up to listen/download for free.

It seems kind of paradoxical to me because I guess it's my way of trying to get some power again and trying to keep my independence and whatnot, but of course by not grounding when I need to, I'm taking these things away from myself.

I do this too.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I guess I'm just wondering if this is normal? Obviously it's something I need to work on and try and get back on track with, I'm just not quite sure how to considering I understand how it is negatively affecting me and I'm still doing it.

I really get what you are saying. Reading this thread could be really educational for me. Thanks for expressing something that is a big thing for me that I was aware of but hadn't thought/been able to express it.

I think that my situation is complicated by the fact that I don't really know what "feeling grounded" feels like.

Does this make sense?

Yes, if I am understanding what you are saying, when our brains are hijacked by flight, fight, freeze, fawn, flop etc we are reading to go into emergency responses, and that is not conducive to grounding, or feelings of safety, or rational thoughts.

. When i do grounding they all come flooding in. And sometimes I just dont want this

I relate a lot. I don't want to have feelings, they are so hard. If I have feelings, and I talk about them and I feel invalidated, like someone says buck up or think about it differently I go down the rabbit hole, I get so triggered.

I think that my situation is complicated by the fact that I don't really know what "feeling grounded" feels like.

 

[The Albatross]

It's a hard sell, when symptomatic, to give preference to a grounded "in the moment" way of being. It takes practice, patience, persistence and perseverance. Time is sequential, events are fluid... it is a steady stream of stimulation on all levels: thoughts, emotions, physical... but it is good to remember that IF preference is given to "being" in the moment (which always reminds me of Fatboy Slim's song: Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now ) it becomes easier over time to loosen the grip the "perceived reasons for avoidance to grounding" have on you.

You can elect to jam yourself if you want/need to... but it's a choice. Resistance is an opportunity to initiate a more generally beneficial change.