News Gender identification - when to start the conversation

[Sideways]

@shimmerz - good grief! That policy documentation is extraordinary!

It’s sad to me that good supportive inclusive ideas and suggestions get lost in the bureaucratic nightmare of policies about where kids can/should get changed after athletics and setting a formal ‘name change’ day.

Having been sexually abused at school, I’m also not a fan of the idea of letting students decide what change room they’d be most comfortable getting changed in. In circumstances where there is a transgender student (which is an overwhelming minority of times), it makes sense to talk to the students who will be impacted.

If you have a class with a blind kid and accommodations need to be made? You talk to the students involved. Same with any kind of minority that needs to accommodated respectfully. It’s not possible to create a policy document for any and every conceivable minority group, covering every conceivable issue that each of those minorities might face.

Surely it would be more beneficial to teach tolerance, and allow schools some flexibility to meet individual student needs when they arise. Tolerance and flexibility are things that can be applied to all minority groups with special needs.

 

[shimmerz]

It’s sad to me that good supportive inclusive ideas and suggestions get lost in the bureaucratic nightmare of policies about where kids can/should get changed after athletics and setting a formal ‘name change’ day.

Agreed. And I think part of the problem that parents are having is that they have no idea what the curriculum is. A little light reading? Hardly at all. Parents should have been sent out a brief(er) but comprehensive 'this is how your children will be affected by xyz policies that are changing due to this'.

 

[scout86]

Tolerance and flexibility are things that can be applied to all minority groups with special needs.

When it comes right down to it, everyone is a minority of one, because everyone is unique. And, it seems like that's a GOOD thing. (Otherwise, most of us would be unnecessary duplication.)

 

[Sideways]

@shimmerz - it would be interesting to know how these policies are being received by the trans community. I can’t believe that everyone supports the notion of kids as young as 5 getting singled out for different treatment this way. It would be incredibly daunting to be a kid looking to transition and being handed this document by this school and told “Well this is how we’re going to handle your very private business...”.

 

[shimmerz]

Hmmmmm,,,,,,,, interesting find. I especially like the last item on the bulleted list.

Schools In Transition: A Guide for Supporting Transgender in K-12 Schools

Specifically.....

• Best practices for working with unsupportive parents or parents who disagree about the appropriate response to their child’s expressed gender identity. It also addresses how special education plans can be used to help transgender students.

Like what???????? Are you kidding me? Honest to god, I would be rallying together a whole whack load of people for this ^^^ one. This, my friends, is why I spend time researching. Real answers don't come easy these days.

Or, better still....
When contacting the parent or guardian of a transgender or transsexual student, school personnel should always use the student’s legal name and the pronoun corresponding to the student’s gender assigned at birth unless the student, parent, or guardian has specified otherwise. This is important to prevent accidental disclosure of a student’s transgender or transsexual identity. In some cases, unwanted disclosure can place students at significant risk of harm, neglect, and abuse. In general, all school forms and databases should be updated to ensure that a student’s preferred or chosen name can be accurately recorded on class lists, timetables, student files, identification cards, etc.

Let me just be clear. No, I am not good with this. Not one little bit. Schools should never be keeping information like this away from parents. Never.ever.ever.

 

[shimmerz]

I wish they put this much time and effort into identifying abused children in the school system. :banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[Sideways]

@shimmerz - be careful what you wish for. Next thing we’d have a 60-page policy document outlining all the different ways they’re going to single out abused kids for special attention:confused:

Hehehe, “We’ll need a complete list of your triggers so that we can let everyone know how to treat you differently!”

 

[shimmerz]

Or perhaps a list of the five things that don't? Simpler that way. :whistling::unsure:

 

[Suzetig]

I had a look at the documents too and just think it's a hammer to crack a nut. And yes, I'd be furious to find a school supporting my child to think about transitioning without my involvement never mind keeping from me that they were already out in school and using a different name etc.

I had a look at the lesson plan for K2 kids and really they're talking about helping kids think about gender stereotypes. All fine on the face of it however my little boy in some ways doesn't conform - he likes dolls and prams and dressing up games - I'm happy for him to play with whatever he likes and don't ascribe gender identity to play. He's perfectly happy with his choices. So, he learns in school that what he enjoys doing isn't typical for his gender and then is asked to think about how someone who doesn't conform to gender norms might feel? My child is 4, he doesn't have the capacity to process concepts in the abstract so he'll immediately think they're talking about him and that he must be doing something wrong.

On what planet is that not leading a child to think that what they enjoy doing and what they wear comprises their gender identity and to plant a seed that they might need to change gender identity. True gender neutrality strips away the idea of boys and girls toys and activities - I'd welcome toys for my daughter that weren't all pink shit and glitter - not reinforcing stereotypes by suggesting that people who don't conform to them must be unhappy, upset or confused.

 

[shimmerz]

who don't conform to them must be unhappy, upset or confused.

And should be hiding said issue from their parents because the school knows how to take care of it better.....
Honestly, I am livid.

 

[Mach123]

Leave the kids alone. Teach reading, writing and arithmetic. Teach them deductive reasoning. Help the smart ones excel. Learn to see abuse and treat it. I had been abused. There were a lot of sexual issues and I was acting out at a very young age. I should have been dealt with somehow I guess but I don't think the necessary resources were available then. I don't know what to say about it actually but I would have qualified as gender disphoric or whatever they call it but that would've been wrong. It would have been wrong to put that label on me or treat me like I needed reassignment. Everything I did and might have thought I was or wasn't was abuse reactive. Period. If I went into therapy now and I was a teenager say at a university they'd want to start me on hormone therapy and reassignment? No. That would be wrong, even though I can tell you honestly when I reached maturity (at about 12) I would have said I was the wrong sex. I thank God none of the people who have helped me ever suggested anything like reassignment. My therapist has worked extensively in that community and she doesn't paint a good picture of what's actually happening to these people who are going through with this so, the appropriate time to start the public conversation with school children is never. Having lived with this my whole life I feel a great deal of compassion for anyone having this experience.

 

[anonymous]

And at home, it's as simple as accepting that your little boy prefers the *pink* section of the sto...

But who says that pink is a girly color? What is it about the color pink that makes it girly? In my country people who descent from „commoners“ think navy is the color for a man and light blue the color for a boy, but people who descent from nobility think bright red is the colour for a man and pink the color for a boy.

May be a boy who likes pink is not a girl in a boys body but nobility in a commoners body... or maybe he just likes thee color pink.

I think we do our kids a disservice by telling them they must like x or y and dislike z and if they do not they are genderfluid or trans.

A few centuries ago straight men wore makeup and false wigs (talking about Rokoko) and all ballet dancers were male.