The moral, social and emotional development of my kids is predominantly my responsibility - not my school or teachers role. I'd be happy if they would for the most part teach my children to read, write, count and spell without stigmatising, shaming or judging. That in itself will go a long way to creating an environment that cares for and supports difference.
Thank you for sharing this thought. I think you are a great parent and I agree with what you had to say.
Our schools are failing our kids. Failing to teach them basic academic studies, so why would we leave it to the schools to teach this???? Personally, I think that the government needs to get the hell out of the classroom and let the schools set the curriculum and the the teachers do their jobs and teach again.
I agree with this. I am so troubled seeing the identity politics enter the classrooms and it scares the hell out of me. I am a parent of two children by the way.
the school does not know my children the way I do.
I agree one hundred percent. We gave birth to these kids and have been with them for their childhood years. What about the teachers with their own mental health problems? I would like to know about a study about that. I am not referring to the teachers here, it is just a hypothetical question.
I am so lucky to have caring, validating teachers in my children's lives
I think this points out my last question. How many here have been bullied or abused by teachers in their childhood?
It's still my job as their parent to raise my children.
Agree
Would really like it if encouraging gender tolerance didn’t include teaching kids that what they choose to wear somehow bears upon their gender, or their sexuality, or their sex. It doesn’t.
I think this is common sense speaking right now.
I wish we could just teach children that all behavior was ok as long as you weren't hurting yourself or others and to accept everyone instead of framing it as gender identification. Just let pple be.
I wish the schools could post this as a mission statement.
If I had a kid, they'd be changing schools the instant someone told them being a bit effeminate means they are actually a girl, or vice versa.
I wouldn't let that education system fill my kid's head with that sexist bullshit.
I would too.
Which IS part of what gets parents pissed off when governments -and people without kids- start assuming that they're terrible people, and can't be "trusted" not to suck at their job... So we have to have an outside agency responsible to "really" raise the kids. >.< :banghead:
This is a really scary thought and trend in this country right now I think.
90% of people are going to be criminalized without any kind of trial, evidence, or even likelihood... Doesn't track, right? That a very small minority of parents are abusers, doesn't equal treating ALL parents like abusers.
Thank you for saying this.
Their teacher isn't their parent though and cannot possibly meet the social and developmental needs of every child in whatever class size they have. Nor does their teacher need to deal with the outcome or fall out of whatever they've been taught at school. I do, I'm their parent 24/7 for life, not 6 hours a day for a year or two.
Teachers are so limited and have to use their own funds for help in their teaching skills. I think there will never be enough money to pay teachers what they deserve or provide them with the resources these very stretched people are trying to do when they are trying to make a difference in their students lives.
One thing to keep in mind, these are figures for the US, which has one of the worst rates of child abuse for industrialized nations. Also, this is not just parent-based abuse.
I think that this is a vastly under reported problem and has grown far worse in our world. What about the group Nambla that wants to push to legalize child molestation and impose this upon our society and are pushing this as their rights? Not to mention the sex trafficking.
The conversation changes for each grade. For 5 year olds, there should be no talk on "transgender issues" but simply open ended play and open teacher response to children's choices.
I agree with
@Rad that teenagers will be able to know themselves. This happened with my grandson and his mom cannot afford to pay for the hormones so his pain will remain until he can afford to meet his own needs in being able to transition.
I am advocating for teaching through a cultural lens, teaching social emotional awareness, empathy, and inclusivity.
What cultures are you referring to if I may ask?
They accept that this boy is still a boy - because of biology. What he likes to do and wear and how he likes to behave doesn't change his biology.
I so like what you said because this is seeming to be the most overlooked subject too. Biology is a real science.
I think one can enable tolerance without imposing gender identity one way or the other.
agree
Being aware of and watchful for the signs of child abuse should be the priority of a teacher when looking at their students behaviour. Not whether or not little Johnny is really little Jane.
How often does this occur? I have a question to the good teachers here, did you get training on reporting child abuse?
"You throw like a girl!" To me, that's a chance to sit down with at LEAST Johnny, and MAYBE the whole class and pick that "insult" apart a little
I agree in part, if this moment did occur with the teacher it would be ideal but it would be shaming to the child in my opinion if the teacher addressed the whole class on this topic, and the bullying of this child may actually increase.
One last disclaimer. I'm not an educator and I'm not a parent.
Thank you, I think you are the only non parent who has said this which says alot about what kind of a person you who I do like and admire very much. Not trying to hurt any non parents here at all, I just noticed this and thought that she deserved to be thanked.
Now if only these big wig decision makers at the board could stop long enough to figure out how to keep our kids safe in their schools. THAT would be worthwhile, I think. This stuff to me, is just a big distractio
I so agree shimmerz, the bullying has reached epidemic proportions including the few bad teachers who do abuse their power.
For the record, I think the whole bathroom thing is absurd. Personally, I think people should use what ever bathroom they want. I don't picture predators disguising themselves as members of the opposite sex to prowl bathrooms looking for victims. (Not to mention that there are plenty of situations where victim and perp are of the same gender.)
Yes some pervs do this and actually some rapes of women have occurred as a result of this gender confusion. I do not have the source because I cannot remember but if you look you will find it I think.
I wish they put this much time and effort into identifying abused children in the school system. :banghead::banghead::banghead:
Sorry to be repetitive but this is more important and the school systems have really failed in this area I think, especially in the inner cities where there is an appalling lack of resources and help for the teachers.
I am too and that is why I am doing my response in this fashion. Thank you for saying this.
When you're talking about whose right & responsibility it is to RAISE children, and make decisions for them? You're talking about parents. That's whose job it is to do that.
I agree one hundred percent, I take great offense at the school system continually interfering the parent child relationships except for when there is reported child abuse.
We're probably going to have to agree to disagree on whose responsibility it is to raise kids
I agree with this and I think it will make an interesting thing to do this more often in our society so we could actually listen to each other and learn a few things, again, scout I admire you for your integrity.
So this deconstructing of gender is bizarre. Social constructionism is a form of philosophy. Not useful, really, for anyone in regular life.
It is pure nonsense. It is unreality is so many ways. Tolerance and acceptance are very good thing major things lacking in our worlds.
To be honest, I thought that PTSD had screwed me up far beyond recognition, and that´s why I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin.
Your not alone in thinking that as we all have believed that who has been abused or traumatized as children and adults. Maybe not the same thing but I can relate to your statement.
I would have liked to know that sometimes, people born as females do not feel female. I don´t mean not-extremely-feminine. I mean really-not-female.
Thank you so much Rad for your courage and bravery to stand alone and speak as a sympathetic witness for all those who want to or have transitioned already. I think that took real guts and have so much admiration and liking for you as a friend here. Always have, always will
But should you meddle with their identity? F*ck no. Don´t try to confuse someone. My parents did not raise me exclusively with Barbies, I had barbies and legos and cars. Mixed. I wore dresses and I wore pants. My parents made a lot of mistakes, but this was something they actually handled well.
Amen!
But physical transition I feel should have an age limit of about 16. Kids that are suspected to be transgender are sometimes given puberty blockers to delay the effects of puberty. This would stop the dysphoria to an extent,
I so agree with you here on this one too. If only my grandson could have started doing this and each day I pray that his pain will not increase so much that he will commit suicide.
There is no excuse for a school encouraging a child to lie to their parents.
I agree with this so much, how many child molesting teachers have told their victims the same exact thing. The forum is full of their victims.
"Don't tell your parents what we're doing here. You'll get in trouble." How many of you have heard this one before, from someone in authority?
I can’t help thinking that schools are the wrong place to deal with the issues facing transkids. The issues facing kids that want to transition are huge. Taking just mental health issues and suicide rates alone from this section of our community, we’re definitely falling waaay short of providing the type of support that transkids need.
The good teachers here are all trying so hard to make a difference in their students lives every day. They go out of their way to reach all of them and I so empathize with their plight of not having enough resources or back up at school when dealing with acting out children and the sheer amount of students in their classes. I could go on, but will not. Enough said.
I read through so many posts here tonight and was impressed with everyone. I am sorry for making such a lengthy post and I hope you all will forgive me, but you all pretty eloquently said what points I was trying to make in my earlier posts.
I was very upset in a big way when I did post and had to take some time off to calm down vowing not to come back to this thread, but instead of avoiding it, I came back and did some exposure therapy.
I do disagree with the voices that encourage small children with identity politics. I think the government is like big brother so often and has no right to impose their plans for America in impressionable young lives.
There is child abuse of all kinds of parents, agreed. We are all witnesses to that fact.
The problem has grown worse with organizations like Nambla who are donating so much money into our society and the growing problems of a very chaotic society. I see divided groups who do not tolerate each other but are mostly interested in getting their way at another persons expense.
Our kids see this on the news and our biases go onto our children sometimes and our prejudices too sometimes. No parent or teacher is perfect but wouldn't it be so fantastic if both sides of the division bell could simply listen and learn and agree to disagree and still like the person they do not agree with.
I feel very strongly about this and this is the way I see it and again, My apologies to everyone for such a lengthy post.
