Relationship Restraining order and ghosted

[Renee31nico]

I feel like a failure. I haven’t seen him in over 2 weeks. This is the first time we’ve been apart in 4.5 years. I’m heartbroken. His smile he gave me is my only hope that we’ll get back together. I wish I could explain more. I’m looking for advice. I heard sufferers leave. Some get back together. I was the happiest I’d ever been. It was my purpose to support him. Every time I cancel something that I was paying for I feel worse. Enjoying things doesn’t feel right. If I don’t get over this, I can’t accept it.

 

[Friday]

He served you with a restraining order?

 

[Sweetpea76]

I second @Friday 's question... who got the restraining order?

 

[Justmehere]

It was my purpose to support him.

This is co-dependency, which is very unhealthy. It wouldn’t be good for him or you to get back together with this kind of codependency in the mix. This kind of relationship dynamic ends up leaving everyone miserable, even when it’s well meaning.

I’d suggest seeking out some counseling for you about a new purpose in life, which isn’t so wrapped up in one person.

Sometimes sufferers do return, but because a restraining order is now involved (in whatever way there is one) I would not hold on to any chance of getting back together. Getting a judge to order another to stay away under threat of arrest and jail time is a pretty clear end to a relationship. Let it go. Grieve. Get support.

It will hurt to stay apart, but it’s also a great opportunity for you to connect to counseling and learn a new way to engage in relationships and support others, and be loved and supported yourself.