Cannot identify the source of this selfperception...

[Rani G2]

Once again I struggle with this same emotion of feeling weak. I meet people, family and again I have this sense of self which is hard to be with. It feels as if I am very weak, not intelligent, hopelesness. This happens strongly if I feel I have not shown the “strong/reseliant me“.

I dont know why, I might be triggered right now....

Its as if someone won....yes, someone thinks she is stronger,smarter more assertive than me. Why Do I have to measure with such people, and at the same time I feel attracted to them. At the same time I think, I am a ass kisser....its as if this person thinks he/she is the stronger one, and I am submissive. The thing is this person is not disrespectful, likes me but there is something about that character which triggers me. Urghhhhh

 

[EveHarrington]

Stop comparing yourself to others.

 

[Rani G2]

The comparing is not something I choose, plus it only happens with certain kind of people.

Thanks

 

[EveHarrington]

That’s an excuse.

You are comparing yourself to everyone else. You make many posts about it. When it’s pointed out to you, you disregard what is said. I don’t think you actually want to get better.

 

[Rani G2]

pointed out to you, you disregard what is said. I don’t think you actually want to get better.

How Do you know? Its an aspect I am struggling with...and I am doing the working I can Do.

Saying that it only happens with certain people is not an excuse! Thats what I want to identify and change.... doesnt mean I just sit around thinking “Oh this only happens with certain people...so I wont Do anything“

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Oh, PURUSHA, it's all a matter of your conditioning. This has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to get better. It has to do with what you feel you're capable of. When you've spent a lifetime believing yourself to be inferior, it's incredibly difficult to break through that wall. I suppose the hardest part is convincing yourself that you're worth the fight.

It can be done, though. I'm proof. (((PURUSHA)))

That’s an excuse.

You are comparing yourself to everyone else. You make many posts about it....

Eve, not everyone has found the strength that you possess. Not everyone will. You're a remarkable person and you have so much to give to all of us. We come here for support, not for judgement that reinforces our destructive beliefs.

 

[Rani G2]

Thanks you. Will Do the work now...rather than repeating :-)

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Thanks you. Will Do the work now...rather than repeating :)

((((PURUSHA))))

Time to start kicking some ass.

 

[EveHarrington]

Eve, not everyone has found the strength that you possess. Not everyone will. You're a remarkable p...

Leave me alone.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Leave me alone.

I have as much right to comment on this thread as you do. Don't expect me to ignore hurtful comments, whether made by you or directed at you.

I think we're all hurting enough. No one needs negative reinforcement.

 

[EveHarrington]

It also feeds into neediness. If you ask for advice and then give excuses as to why you won’t listen to that advice, it comes across as being needy. That is, wanting others to be mind readers and only accepting certain kinds of responses that you deem worthy.

 

[Suzetig]

Maybe rather than speculating on what other posters mean or should/shouldn't be doing we could get back to the topic at hand.

It feels as if I am very weak, not intelligent, hopelesness. This happens strongly if I feel I have not shown the “strong/reseliant me“.

I wonder if there's something about that type of person which feels threatening to you, making you feel vulnerable? We can't be assertive and confident all the time - feeling vulnerable is important in close relationships but can leave us feel img very exposed in relationships or with people who don't feel safe for us.

Maybe think about people you don't feel this way with? What is it about them that makes it ok to feel weaker - if there's no one in you life you can be vulnerable with its worth looking at what being vulnerable means to you - that can be a real trigger back to trauma. I guess il saying it might be the feelings that are triggering you rather than the person.