What doesnt kill you makes you stronger?

[Rani G2]

My T has been saying this a few times.

I dont know what this is suppose to mean? Having gone through depression, Axiety, OCD I wonder where the strength is? (Whatever strength is???) Not sure about this.

What Do you define as strength?

 

[ladee]

Doing it anyway, regardless of the doubt, fear, fear of judgement, taking risks , stepping out of my comfort zone. And guess there are many more descriptive words... but each time I try something different than the way I've always done it... I get stronger.. I have a little more faith in my self... I'm less afraid, less anxious to try it again, until it becomes a healthier way to be... like you sharing about all the nasty tea you drank... you wasn't crazy about the taste, but you knew it was going to help you feel better, so you drank it anyway... and you got the payoff of feeling better... hope this made sense....

 

[Rani G2]

but each time I try something different than the way I've always done it... I get stronger

Yes Ladee it makes sense. Thank you

I think I was somewhat misunderstanding what strength is, by a strongly conditioned, moralized definition of strength where willpower is being glorified as something a few have or are capable of developing and others dont. Thats thinking in black and white terms.

 

[Mee]

Hmmm.

I used to think this :). And I think I’m VERY many cases it’s true.

But I think it’s not always the case and I think society frowns on those who struggle to come to terms with trauma or grief and who do not find strength and that is kind of cruel .

Sometimes people just have more than they can stand. I do not see me being stronger than I used to be ever. Or as strong . I would like to be ‘ok’. I don’t expect to be ‘great’

 

[Rani G2]

struggle to come to terms wit

Mee, I have come across two people who have made some statements like “Well at some point people must just move on“ or “they think they are victims so they want to be treated as someone special“.

This shows, that these people have no idea about trauma or they Do and have not dealt with it.

 

[MrMoonlight]

What Do you define as strength?

The ability to breathe through the smoke.

Being true to yourself and maintaining your being/self without compromise. Anyone can have strength or character during the good times but maintaining that while under fire is IMO core strength.

 

[CatInTree]

Being true to yourself and maintaining your being/self without compromise...

Except sometimes you have to compromise some part of yourself.

I discovered earlier that I had to compromise a part of myself in an attempt to protect someone. The other option I saw was to compromise another part of myself and not try to protect them.

I'm alive, and definitely not stronger for it. I don't even know if my attempt worked. It may have made it worse.

 

[Mee]

CatInTree. I think that there are so many grey areas in choices that face us in life. Rarely in life do we get the easy black and white choice.


My therapist is currently working with me to encourage me right now to make choices she is encouraging me to see as moral and I see as selfish. We are trying to approach this from a position of ‘ if it weren’t me but someone else what would I hope for them’. It’s not very easy because I still feel situations are not black and white !

I think it’s rare we get to make situations that do not somehow compromise; Because our decisions in life impact others, for good or bad.

 

[Rani G2]

Without the classifying in strength vs weakness. Trying to see it on what is needed for survival.

 

[Fadeaway]

I think this is a very inappropriate and insensitive statement for a T to make and if my T said that to me, I would quit. I also know my T would never ever invalidate me like that.

Am I strong for what I have been through, in certain ways? Yes I have had to be strong in ways no one but people here would truly get. However, I think my weaknesses out way the strength. Weaknesses and vulnerabilities I would never had never suffered the abuses I did. You don't survive child trauma and come out stronger for it because it messes up your normal development.

 

[Rani G2]

I think this is a very inappropriate and insensitive statement for a T to make and if my T said that to me, I would quit.

Fadeaway, the T is a good Therapist. Yes the statement is very generalizing and superficial. Other than that, I find that she is a good Therapist.

 

[Rani G2]

You don't survive child trauma and come out stronger for it because it messes up your normal development.

I agree.