Does Anyone Suffer Severe Memory Loss?

[Deleted member 93]

He was anything but a sweet child... he was and is sick. And a truly insane person does not know it when they are, so how can they seek help if they do not know or think they need it? They have to be caught up in the system to normally be caught on to to address it. If you think you are nuts chances are you are not.

And how that is the same as a woman beater (which is an insecure male who has to prove himself by taking on the weaker sex) doesn't make sense. Comparing apples and oranges.

 

[scarlette_crimson]

Believe me they know....Just ask your counsler.Darth Vader knew he said and I quote I am sick and I like what I am doing can you please help me stop.He was shluffing his behavor back on to me.

 

[anthony]

he said and I quote I am sick and I like what I am doing can you please help me stop. He was shluffing his behavor back on to me.

I don't see this as shifting his behaviour to yourself at all, and as you quoted your fathers words, "I am sick and I like what I am doing, can you please help me?" He asked you for help because he knew he was sick. He hasn't shiften anything too you, or attempted too, he is screaming for help, help which you denied him because of the way you felt about him. He wanted you to help you, you walked away.

There is nothing more too it than that, from your own quotation scarlette. Is there right or wrong in this? I don't believe so, because your attacker was asking you for help, and because you have been told he attacked you, you have that fear, hatred and rage towards him, with no remorse and thus you choose to not help him, but instead distance yourself. This is your decision, and it doesn't come with right or wrong, it only comes with what you felt is best for you.

Accepting this is another thing though, instead of trying to blame your attacker for something out of his control, being the request to help him. That was you decision to interpret incorrectly, or choose not to help him for the inner fear you have. We cannot make excuses for our actions, we can only accept them, analyse them, and move on with our lives.

 

[scarlette_crimson]

your sick anthoney Why would I need to help a rapist just becuse he needs my help that is his sick problem. and your not a psycholigist if you were raped by your own dad or almost murdered you would not make such assumptions this is obviously a facade that your runing. I am glad I found out what a messy way to think.so it's O.K for you to rape and pillage your childre and then say oh stop me dear I cant stop myself from touching you or shooting you. I am sorry that is not what a real man would do.I reckon I will no longer refer people to this site.unqualified....to be helpfull

 

[becvan]

your sick anthoney Why would I need to help a rapist just becuse he needs my help that is his sick problem. and your not a psycholigist if you were raped by your own dad or almost murdered you would not make such assumptions this is obviously a facade that your runing. I am glad I found out what a messy way to think.so it's O.K for you to rape and pillage your childre and then say oh stop me dear I cant stop myself from touching you or shooting you. I am sorry that is not what a real man would do.I reckon I will no longer refer people to this site.unqualified....to be helpfull

First, no one on this site is representing themselves as professional help. We are helping each other. That is called self-help. Accusing Anthony of unethical behaviour for a profession he doesn't even work in is.. ridiculous.

Secondly, no one is saying you are responsible for his illness. You were responsible for chosing to ignore his plea for help. You are not responsible for the actions that were inflicted on you. You are responsible for the actions you inflict on others now.

The fact that he even said, help me i'm sick, is amazing. It's rare. It's an admittance of guilt, a acknowledgment of wrong doing etc.. That's something some of us (like myself) can not say. My rapist never admitted to what he did. Yours did.

You are very angry (and rightly so) but lashing out at others for pointing out simple facts and reasoning is not going to help you. I know this is a touchy subject (god, how could it not be) but give yourself some time and reread Anthony's post and I think you might be able to see what he was pointing out.

Bec

 

[Deleted member 93]

There is no wrong or right in this is what it comes down to. He is trying to point that out to you I believe.

Am I right or wrong not to forgive and have anything to do with a mentally ill brother for what he did?

Is my sister right or wrong in forgiving our mentally ill brother for what he did and choose to be open to him?

See there is no wrong or right. There are just choices we make that are benifecial to us to how it effects us as individuials. We make that choice. We live with that choice. We move on with it and from there.

He has a talent at striking a nerve and is good at making us think on a pretty deep level (don't think for a second you are the first). And he has made it clear many many times he is no doc. Just a guy with PTSD and trying to help others down the same path he made it down in hopes we can funtion day to day once again like he does now. Gives us hope. But he can and does play hard ball. He has with everyone at some point.

 

[anthony]

Scarlette, I think the rest have said everything I need to say. You are making shit up before you process it. You have made over 100 posts in just over a week, nothing with much substance too it... you fail to control your anger or listen to anothers viewpoint without aggression, so as a result you have been banned for 5 days. The message you will receive goes something like:

Banned for 5 days in order to calm down, ensure you read peoples post before you run off at the mouth.

If I make a mistake, or say something wrong, I expect someone to correct me or enlighten me to facts. I respect others opinions and when in doubt, I ask, not run off at the mouth insulting people with little to no f*cken regard. Your pissing me off now.

 

[pookiespooka]

I've got memory loss too. It's upsetting that I can't remember all that happened to me. I decided to just let God decide for what I do and don't need to remember. When I let go of it and didn't hound myself to try to remember it actually opened me up to recieve more memories because I relax and gave it up to God. I don't know if you even believe in God but I know in my experience that when I give it to Him; He helps me through it.

 

[Delita]

When I began to heal in therapy I remembered things that I knew were true but that shouldn't have been. It was as if I had lived a completely different childhood than the one I remembered. It felt like I was viewing someone else's life, not from my perspective but from theirs. Most powerful and significant were not the memories themselves but the emotions which were attached to these memories. It was these forgotten emotions that made that otherworld excruciatingly real and far more meaningful than my present two-dimensional life and superficial memories of my past.


Edit:
Never made it to the core trauma, but I want those memories. I retrieved enough to understand that they are pretty f------ horrible. But I don't care. I neither care what they consist of nor that they may prove my ultimate undoing. I know I will not be free until I have looked them in the face and fought with the emotions they carry. I would rather die than live the rest of my life like this.

 

[trisha]

my doctor has described this as "dissociative behavoirs" and in many ways it is what allows us to deal with the trauma as it is occuring. It removes our mind from our body so we don't have to endure the pain.

with me some of the memories have come back, some have gone entirely, I have only fragmentented memories of my horrific child abuse now.

the deeper I get into therapy the more I am experiencing that some of those dissociative memories (visual and audio) come back randomnly,as flashbacks.

 

[Nam]

Trisha, welcome, and I understand those flashbacks.

 

[cookie]

hey trisha, sounds exactly like me. i had not idea about flashbacks, i just knew that if you heard or saw things you were crazy(so I thought) it helped a lot to find others with the same problem, and know that it is part of ptsd, not crazy.