Inner critic?

[Elmez]

Naming the inner critic ( my son named mine, he calls it the"Black Cat") does seem to help recognize when it starts in on you. Usually it will be just grumbling in the background and if I'm not mindful of it, the screaming begins. Such a pain. Especially when, like me, you struggle to quiet it down.

 

[TruthSeeker]

The Body Keeps the Score (my bible!) describes it really well - but the ones I remember off the top of m...

My T told me to read The Body Keeps the Score first...I think somewhere by the second visit when she said something about compartmentalizing feelings and I said, "yea right, I don't do that. I know how I feel-all of me does" and blew her off...So, I ordered it online, I opened it up and the pages half-way into chapter 1 became a blurr....I was threatened immediately by that book. She asked me how I liked it.....I said it was heady (in a foggy kind of way I thought)....I had to read and reread to really get what the author was talking about (to get through the book and remember the gist was the real reason)....eventually I got to the end....It was a good book, but a hard book to read. Bites of reality.. Its kinda funny now...it wasn't then.

@Freida

Do you know what IFST says about the inner critic?

I’m guessing it...

Please tell me what IFST stands for....that's not an acronym I know. Thanks.

 

[Rose White]

@Bkinder i resonate with feeling threatened and foggy by the compartmentalizing thing. Currently I identified Good Girl and Growler. They hate each other and are totally threatened by each other. I am putting their cages next to each other.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Bkinder i resonate with feeling threatened and foggy by the compartmentalizi...

OM "cages?" when you write cages, it sounds awful......but I must admit.....I have "The Dark One-that's got all the shame" enclosed .....and it is none too happy. I'm trying to figure out how to give it nicer conditions, more respect, some positive attention and a better place to live....with communication so it isn't alone. I'm designing a 21st century abode.... My end goal is for all to be free in a building the shape of a circle with others accepting and connected-Oneness.

 

[Rose White]

That is beautiful and inspiring—never thought to imagine it like that

 

[TruthSeeker]

That is beautiful and inspiring—never thought to imagine it like that

I think imagination, whether through art, poetry, creative visualization, drama, music, or whatever grabs you is the key to sanity and wholeness...If you believe in creativity and imagination, you can shift a negative image and recreate it to a positive. For instance, I had no idea about my birth day..no pictures, no stories..I'm adopted. So to fill that hole in my life, I drew it....it was peaceful. It wasn't a drama scene. The baby I drew was serene handed from mother to caretaker...I was transferred to foster care before being adopted. That is the image I now carry....it is the only image I knew. It is MUCH better than a void..and now I have a picture of my birth....as I hoped it would be. .Our imagination can heal much of us....that is what I believe. You can have a head full of fairies, animals, children who have resolved their issues.....through imaginative healing, parts with new productive jobs, living high on the hog.....in a place you'd be proud of and have fun to live in. Its your head, enjoy it! I have more recently come to this conclusion and for me, it has really helped.

 

[EveHarrington]

Please tell me what IFST stands for....that's not an acronym I know. Thanks.

Hi, sorry! It stands for Internal Family Systems Therapy.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Hi, sorry! It stands for Internal Family Systems Therapy.

Right.....thank you. Now I must ask for a summary? I am unfamiliar with this even spelled out. You can see I have New throughout my post! :)

 

[shimmerz]

@Freida @Bkinder - best posts I have read in a long while. Thanks so much for those. I appreciate the reminders, especially today.

OP, I would no sooner call my inner critic a freaking ass than eat dirt. My healing involves learning how to be kind to myself. I am hoping that therapist you are going to see isn't a trauma therapist. If they are, I would be looking for someone else.

Oh, and I beat my IC quite some time ago using Ho'oponopono. If I heard anything bad in this head of mine, I would jam it with, I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you. lol

Took only 2 weeks of consistent intentional thought replacement of this phrase and the IC was literally completely gone. I reprogrammed my hater with a lover, cause I have no intention of perpetuating the lessons my hate filled family taught me. I choose to live the rest of my life in love. So no, that voice is a part of me and I don't talk shit to myself anymore. Ever.

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Freida @Bkinder - best posts I have read in a long while. Than...

I like the way you treat yourself! All self-loving and self-changing tips appreciated!

 

[Freida]

I had to read and reread to really get what the author was talking about (to get through the book and remember the gist was the real reason).

Yea - sorry ...should have added a disclaimer! It took me a lot of starts and stops when I first started that book because it hit way to close to home! then I went back and did alot of highlighting to remember the important stuff. For a long time it seemed every time I read it I found something new... I think that's why I like it so much

My IFS is the critic - who pretty much yells at me to get up and get moving when I want to hide under the covers, my "feelings" part that I'm currently not speaking to, and my exile the screamer who holds the feelings of all my bad experiences.

It's different than DID because they are not alters (as in other people) they are parts of the whole me. The goal is to eventually get them to cooperate with each other and make me (the self) feel better about whats going on inside my head. And yes --- its confusing to get your mind wrapped around at first. It took several rounds of explaining by my T before I figured it out. At first I thought she was trying to tell me I was hearing voices!

 

[TruthSeeker]

Yea - sorry ...should have added a disclaimer! It took me a lot of starts and stops when I first starte...

So I've read about different theories for parts, which has evolved over the years, and in DID still a few parts with roles to many for people who have been ritually or severely abused over and over starting at a young age. The self can be different in DID, shell like and unaware. In both, all don't necessarily communicate with each other. All parts serve a purpose, positive or negative, but they think they are working for the good of the self....even those who urge self harm and suicide. That's my take so far. We all have parts, abused or not. The parts serve a purpose and have roles.

This isn't a science like measuring cancer cells, how far it has spread, and coming up with a plan....because everyone is so different and their experiences are so different. Someone got smart and tried to create a mental health system...diagnosis manual, and clearly, mistakes are made all the time in diagnosing mental health conditions. I don't hang my hat on labels....but moreso on what feels right and makes sense to me-for me.

Because this is in our head, impacts our brain, impacts our feelings, and can't be consistently or accurately measured or even consistently seen, and is subjective based on a person in emotional state and what they are doing on any given day,I see little difference between this part theory and that part theory when it comes to parts....except to degree and maybe specificity of parts function.

I don't think the label matters (it's kind of like religion.....you can follow whatever makes you comfy or works for you to make you feel better). I believe if one believes he/she can become whole....meaning content with self, why is it so important to focus on whether it is DID or IFS? Won't basically dealing with the parts of the personality in a productive, creative, positive and respectful way...and meeting those unmet parts needs accomplish the same goal with either DID or IFS(either peace or wholeness....whatever is the endgame for the individual?). Some people want a negotiated management, while others want contentment and inner piece. Some people don't want to do but the minimum of the messy, icky, horrible feeling work of the past to get to resolution...... while others are just looking to get an even keel and function normally in their daily life and are happy coming back for a booster shot to maintain. Some people do it themselves with self help books....mindfulness...exercise...and rigor.

My question...is pigeonholing a diagnosis really that important or is it more important to focus on behavioral strategies and coping skills, parts function, and normalization? And for those with a specific destination or endgame, work towards wholeness? Does the label itself really matter?