Parents against therapy?

[Cactus Bloom]

My parents aren't bad, but they are not the type to open up to since you know you'll get shut down. I'd re...

It’s extremely scary and I do hope you get help as soon as you can. It only gets worse if you keep these traumas stuck inside. You’re amazing and hang in there!

 

[Suzetig]

I would caution that if you tell a teacher about your abuse they will most certainly tell your parents. You’re legally still a child and the school will have processes for when a child disclosed abuse, because of the potential impact on the child and their safety. I only mention this because you said you don’t want your parents to find out - but they will if you tell someone in a regulated profession.

Is there a children’s helpline or online counselling service where you are? I ask because in the U.K. Childline would offer some one to talk to and would keep confidentiality but I know they don’t work overseas.

 

[alfa]

I would caution that if you tell a teacher about your abuse they will most certainly tell your parents. You’re legally still a child and the school will have processes for when a child disclosed abuse, because of the potential impact on the child and their safety.

Yeah. This is what I've been thinking. I could be rather vague about it but also just ask the teacher if they can support me when needed.
This is all so complicated and the situation has been bubbling up inside for so long. I'll try asking my parents if I can see a T this week and if they shut that down I'll contact the helpline.
Do you think my teacher could be a last resort?

 

[scout86]

A teacher could be a last resort, for sure. They also might be able to help you approach your parents. They may have some experience or resources to help with the process. If nothing else, it gives you a chance to practice telling your story and, maybe, someone in your corner when you talk your parents.

This kind of thing is hard. It just is. But dealing with it alone is hard too, right?

 

[alfa]

I spoke with my mom about seeing a T this morning and she was against it (as expected). She kept telling me that everyone is going through the same shit, my problems are nothing, and that she had it a lot worse. She said I should just start using drugs and alcohol, because that's what she and her friends did. I actually thought she was joking but after I asked that she gave me a serious tone with it. "your father is going to have a hoot with this," she said.
I'll probably call the helpline after school because this is bullshit. After I spoke with her, I remembered that she would always talk about her sister who was sexually abused by her father. She didn't tell me much about it but she's been complaining about how her sister calls her up and cries over the phone, and goes to therapy. I think that she thinks lesser of my aunt because of it. And she'll definitely think lesser of me even though there's no reason to.
I'm a little irritated.

 

[scout86]

How well do you know your aunt?

 

[Cactus Bloom]

I spoke with my mom about seeing a T this morning and she was against it (as expected). She kept telling m...

Wow! This is horrible that your mother said and did this! Do you know what your next step is?

 

[alfa]

How well do you know your aunt?

Relatively well. She's the only person on my mom's side of the family that still comes around. It's an option to talk to her, but I get the feeling that it'll only make things worse... It might stir up some family drama or cause me to get reprimanded.

Wow! This is horrible that your mother said and did this! Do you know what your next step is?

I think I'll resort to hotlines but if that isn't working for me then I'll try talking to my parents again. If all else fails, I'm confiding in my teacher. He's my health teacher and always has his door open to students who need to talk.

 

[alfa]

My mom and my brother have been poking fun at me today. A minor inconvenience occurs and they say "why dont you see a shrink about it?", "put on your big boy pants", and "i'm sending you to the crazy home".
I'm so tired.

 

[FauxLiz]

@alfa I am sorry that you are going through this and I am sorry your family is not supportive. I would love to tell you that it will get better with time but they type of "poking fun" that you are describing is similar to the nicest thing my family has said to me my entire life. They don't see the harm or pain they are causing and never have. It is not going to be easy but I really hope that you get the help that you need even if your family isn't supportive.

 

[Freida]

Oh hunny this is just so wrong!!! You do not deserve to be treated like this simply for asking for help. I'm happy you are continuing to reach out. Let us know how the hotline call goes.

 

[scout86]

It's an option to talk to her, but I get the feeling that it'll only make things worse... It might stir up some family drama or cause me to get reprimanded.

I have a suspicion there's not going to be a way to handle this without stirring up some family drama. I wish I thought different! At some point, it might help to talk to your aunt because she might able to give you some insight into how to handle things.

The good thing about your teacher is he's NOT part the family drama, but he's probably had some experience handling that sort thing. I really hope things go smoothly for you and you get some support in all this.