Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

This house is embarrassing and absolutely suffocating.

 

[ILoveLife]

Holy crap! I'm sorry @littleoc, wish you had it easier right now.

 

[littleoc]

That is uninhabitable.

I agree. It’s just... a gigantic health hazard. I hate this house. I feel powerless in it and overwhelmed every time my mom says she wishes someone would clean it.

But I’ve tried and the help I got is gone now, so that’s that.

I’m tired of this stuff. I remember once as a teenager seeing on Yahoo! Answers someone asking, “Do I need to clean my room?” Attached was a picture of a bit of clutter, mostly clothes in a pile in a corner. The answers all said stuff like, “Of course, no one deserves to live in clutter.” It was weird and I felt guilty and still remember it really well because I’d never seen so little clutter in my life at that time...

 

[littleoc]

wish you had it easier right now.

Thank you :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I am moving out in less than a week, to SOMEWHERE. So that’s good. Even if it’s really, really hard because of service dog accommodations not being properly met, but hopefully that will work out...

Hopefully.

But I won’t be in this stupid house. So that’s nice.

 

[ILoveLife]

Hopefully it will all work out. :hug:

 

[littleoc]

Maybe I’m frustrated because my twin brother is treating me like an idiot?

He says I am too inexperienced to know better. I warned him it took me seven years to realize I didn’t know my ex at all. Even though the point of being Fungus was that I knew everything about her better than she did.

He also keeps repeating that I would be a good wife to a husband, and he keeps mentioning my cooking skills are good and that women have a certain place in the world according to the Bible. That me getting a wife would destroy my womanly attributes.

Yet he’s about to get engaged go a girl he met a month ago. I’m worried about how that will effect our entire family. She better not mess with my mom’s will or anything like that. Urg.

He told me I was an idiot for thinking that was a bad idea.





I think I’m having a bad week, but I also think I’m stirring myself up. Maybe I should just walk to the storage unit and pack up. I could bike there if I’m overly cautious and don’t bring my dog. That may be best anyway. It’s hot today. She might like a nice break to be at home — not in the clutter, though.

Also, maybe I can’t schedule an in-person meeting with Residential, but maybe email will be enough to clear this up. I hate having to do this through email. It seems like an incredibly bad idea. But if I have to, I may as well try to be flexible.

Worst case scenario: I end up with a second floor room with no elevator, and no air conditioning. Possibly a roommate if they misread everything, which seems likely at this point.

Despite the windows being badly set, I do believe I could find a way to cool my dog so sge doesn’t end up the way she did two summers ago, at this same place.

I own a window unit, but they won’t let me install it myself here. Also, the window architecture won’t work with a window unit. But maybe I could find an alternative?

I really hope they just put me where they were supposed to. I’m so angry about this.

Maybe I’m keeping in my anger too much, and that’s why it’s bubbling out all of a sudden? I don’t know how to express anger. I usually just distract myself until I’m over it. Maybe this is a sign that I’m getting decent boundaries.

 

[Freida]

Oh hunny.. ..No one should live like that. And you are right - she lives this way by choice. Her choice/her life. And that's ok.
What's not ok is her choice/your life. I am so glad you are getting out

I know this is a bit spendy but you might find one at a thrift store or good will? Or do some googling for smaller versions for smaller spaces. They are in room ac units that don't need to be in a window. You just stand them up in a corner like a regular fan but they blow cold air. Maybe that can help?

In room ac unit

 

[littleoc]

@Freida I have one of those, actually! That’s two direct recommendations and one indirect so far. Lol

It works less and less the longer it’s left running, because it works by evaporating air. So once the room is humid, it helps a little less. I already live in a humid area.

But, maybe I can replace the filter and try using it only at night? That’s be something! Especially with my tiny ice maker. :)

 

[Freida]

Old trick I had in a tiny apartment with no ac in hot place --- fill a large metal bowl with ice and set it in front of a fan. Then sit right in front of it! Not the best, but it worked in a pinch LOL

 

[Still Standing]

Humidity, yuck! Hate to sweat! Much like Freida suggested, I was going to suggest getting a standing fan. It will keep the air moving and flowing around the room. And it could act as white noise incase you need the distraction from noises going on outside your room. It will be so nice for you to get out of the cluttered house. It is a nice "positive" to look forward to. Good for you, littleloc! And I hope things will work out about having a room more conducive for your pooch.

 

[mumstheword]

This house is embarrassing and absolutely suffocating.

Mine is the same. We are due to have an inspection and I feel like I will die of shame if I have to be here for it.
I'm not well enough or can take responsibility for my guys hoarding or even well enough to address much at all, so yeah, I hate it too, it's one of the big reasons I want out of here.