This will be my last post. today's therapy

[Gs172003]

I saw my therapist for the first time in three weeks and my husband went with me. We talked about quite a bit including some of the issues about saying things while triggered. We talked about some of his stuff too and during that I was very triggered and had to take a walk before I could drive home. She wants us to both come back next week. She thinks we will be great together.

Thank you to all that have been there for me the past couple of years. Things have been very hard but I've learned alot. I pray that you all keep working and get through this mess intact.

 

[Gs172003]

I will answer any questions about this thread.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I have a question - if you are not okay with answering it I don't mind.

You have said that this will be your last posting - but you have not explained why, so I am curious: Why do you want to stop posting? Nothing wrong with leaving it if you really want to - in fact for all I know it's a sign you've undergone great healing, or who knows what - I am just curious. You don't need to answer - nothing wrong with keeping your reasons to yourself. I am just going to put that out there and lay it on the table, because your title leaves me burning with curiosity, you know? lol

I hope you still have solo sessions - that's something I think everyone needs. Both you and your husband (since he has his own traumas - if I am remembering past stuff you've said correctly). I just hope everything is going okay for you and that this is a -good- posting.

 

[Gs172003]

I have a question - if you are not okay with answering it I don't mind.

You have said that this will...

My T isn't giving me the option of solo. I'm leaving because apparently I'm an abusive crazy wifebecwife of some posts I made that I shouldn't have after being upset. I want to leave so that I can give my husband the chance to get the support he needs. I I've had a chance to learn here and now it's his turn.

 

[Gs172003]

Oh and one thing that T said about anger is that it's actually hurt .Learn to feel hurt and say that you are hurt and vulnerable not angry.

 

[Gs172003]

My T isn't giving me the option of solo. I'm leaving because apparently I'm an abusive crazy wifebecwife...

* Crazy abusive wife because of
I have the worst spell check ever.
And no my husband didn't say it.

 

[Flip flop]

I saw my therapist for the first time in three weeks and my husband went with me. We talked about quite...

Wishing you and your husband all the best!

 

[joeylittle]

@Zoogal - if you’d like to leave, you’re free to.

If you’d like to stay, same.

If you are feeling angry/hurt over what anyone has posted to you - the most useful thing to do is take a break, and when you’ve got some distance on the emotions, reflect on whether there’s anything in that criticism of your actions that is useful to you.

If there’s not, then just leave it alone.

I’m very glad you and your husband are going to get some joint time in therapy. If nothing else, it seems to me to be a positive outcome of all the erratic posting you’ve done on here, trying to somehow get or provoke his attention.

(That’s my take on it; and I could be wrong - it’s just what it looks like from my end).

It’s a PTSD site. Members here all have really bad days. And members will often tell you exactly what they think. Take it, do with it what you want.

Whether you leave or not is up to you. It’s got nothing to do with what anyone has said to you.

I’m going to lock this because it’s more about forum matters than anything. I’m also putting you on a 3-day ban so you can have some enforced space away from here.

 

[hithere]

It took me a long time to understand anger was actually hurt. First the hurt then the anger then the same, like a cycle. When I finally started actually feeling the hurt (took YEARS) and started to actually cry instead of getting angry first, my husband was dumbfounded. He had never seen that. Now that is my norm and life is much easier. However, when you get beaten for expressing hurt and told you will be killed if you express hurt and you witness others almost die at the hands of the powers that be because of who knows what... yeah... I was adverse to feeling my feelings of hurt. Once I allowed myself to feel hurt, say it hurts me when you say this or that because..--fill in the blank--. That was life changing not just with the husband, but the kids, co-workers, freinds etc.. It took awhile though. Best Wishes to you. I hope your husband can do his own work.

*shame (not same)

 

[anthony]

It took me a long time to understand anger was actually hurt.

Yep. And a bit more than that. Anger is a response to emotions. You feel other things which cause anger. Frustration, hurt, betrayed, etc. You feel something else, the response is anger. When you deal with the emotion felt, the response is less and thus more controllable.

Well done on working it out.