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Relationship I guess i’m just here to vent

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JM318

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My relationship is over. I’m moving out next Saturday and I plan to make no contact afterwards. It’s been over 4 years since I met and started dating my vet. This is our 4th and final break up. I have not cried yet and I know whenever I do, it’s going to be a good long cry. I have cried a lot for us the last 4 years, and I think I’m just numb to this all. I never thought there would be an end for us. We talked about growing old together and I never really thought we’d never have that chance. He is cold towards me. He wrote a petty and inappropriate post on Facebook calling me crazy and apologizing to his friends ahead of time. (It upset me because I was not ready to tell our friends that we split up again, I don’t broadcast my life on social media). He has already dropped off 2 truck loads of my things to my parents house without me knowing. He told my father we have tried a few times and there won’t be a next. He bought a new/old truck and he’s selling his current one. And today, I found him on Tinder.

So, I guess he just really wants me gone and wants to get on with his life. Nothing astronomical happened to cause this... normal relationship bickering and a lot of stressors in both of our lives right now. I’m so confused on why he’s treating me so poorly. I realize he is upset bc I’ve encouraged help and he’s consistently denied being diagnosed with PTSD. He was talking to our friend last night (we were at a 30th birthday party) and she told me he had reached out to the VA in the past and never received any calls back for therapy. (For those of you who don’t know much of my story, he went to therapy for a few weeks and stopped going, and that was the extent of his effort). He now he tells me he’s seen doctors and they have told him he doesn’t have PTSD anymore. Now I know there is no cure, but I figured there really is no reason for me to continue on with this conversation; I need to let him cope the way he needs to. He is in denial and I can’t change that.

He told me I was the cause of his anger and anxiety, and that we are not compatible. He reminds me of how he was during our first breakup, which lasted 3 weeks. Cold, stern, stubborn, and seems to be dead set on moving on. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but I keep questioning whether or not he is just fed up with the relationship or if he is truly symptomatic and not completely feeling better yet. (The last two weeks have been a complete mind f%€*). We have been in contact since we split bc I haven’t moved yet. He has said these things to me in the past during other break ups, and I know when he is symptomatic. But he keeps saying he doesn’t have PTSD and he’s almost making me believe he doesn’t. Am I crazy?

Thank you for letting me vent.
 
I’m so sorry. :hug:

No, you’re not crazy. He’s chest-deep in the muck of denial.

I think it would be good to take the high road. Block him on all social media accounts. Nothing good can ever come of you seeing his social media posts. Reach out to only your closest friends and tell them that the relationship is over and you’re taking time to process your emotions.
 
I’m so sorry. :hug:

No, you’re not crazy. He’s chest-deep in the muck of denial.

I think...

Thanks EveHarrington. I have to admit, at first I didn’t enjoy how brutally honest you can be at times, but I was actually pretty relieved/happy to see that you had replied to my thread. Thank you for being there for me; you’ve helped me a great deal and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.
 
Sorry things are so messy right now. So if he "doesn't have PTSD anymore" then he's just an a**. All the more reason to move on. We both know he's in denial and until he faces his problems he'll continue on this path.

Hugs to you and I pray he reaches out for help, someday. Best of everything to you!
 
Sorry your hurting. He can only heal himself. Take a lot of time and do self care. You deserve to be valued and one day you will find someone who will. Wishing you the best.
 
No you are not crazy. It doesn't much matter any more if it's the PTSD or not, I wouldn't hold out getting back together even if he does commit to treatment, because if this is related to symptoms, it will get worse at first.

I am glad you are getting out tomorrow. I know he's threatened legal action a few times in a few ways. Time to disconnect from him, block him on social media.... and enjoy the wonderful opportunity you have to move on and find someone with some stability. :hug:
 
No you are not crazy. It doesn't much matter any more if it's the PTSD or not, I wouldn't hold out g...

Yes, if he agrees to treatment it will get worse before it gets better. I did tell him I will always be here to support him. And I also told him I think it’s best if we are both alone for a while. I’m not interested in moving on, I just need to focus on nursing and myself, and hope down the road that the stars will align again. Thank you ❤️
 
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