Jealous of my therapist (again)

[Scarlet13]

These are good questions.
My hypothetical frumpy T would give me sub par help, so it is a "worthy" thing.
I always want to deprive myself while at the same time I have a selfish neediness and this comes out of abuse.
I am feeling better as I found a new clinic and doctor that understood the injury I got from an SSRI and how to heal it.
He specializes in gut/brain health.
I have been sick since having a baby and its more than PTSD but goes along with it.
After so much fear and sleeplessness I have a leaky gut and this has caused candida.
They were so understanding and while doing a candida diet for 3 mos will suck (and is triggering) it may give me my life back! I feel like I am getting help with my issues, so my jealousy really pointed towards unmet needs.

I am jealous of her appearance and health.
I am jealous of her time spent with her children.
I am jealous of her fancy vacations.
So healing my gut hopefully will lead to the first two and well the last, maybe down the road.

 

[blackemerald1]

jealous of her appearance and health.

A young working mother who is not concerned about her own health and appearance post birth of a baby - doesn't exist in real life. :eek:

I am jealous of her time spent with her children.

Do you know how many hired and volunteer supports she has? Probably a lot... Young working mothers without a lot of support are time poor for all things except baby, house-work & work... particularly when their babies are quite young. That is the reality.:arghh;

I am jealous of her fancy vacations.

Ok you got me there! I'm jealous of everyone that goes on fancy vacations lol...:sorry:

rumpy T would give me sub par help

But you really sound like the type of person who would reject sub par help and call it out for what it is!

I have been sick since having a baby and its more than PTSD

So you've had a baby, been sick post birth, been trying to get appropriate treatment for a physical ailment that until recently has not been successful, you now have to change a major part of your lifestyle to recover ie diet, you do paid work, you care for your young child when not working and have ptsd on top of all that. You do a lot!! @Scarlet13 - time to stop being so harsh on yourself...parenting is very hard.:hug:

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm going to suggest something scary...
I think you should tell her this. If she's a good T, it will strengthen your therapeutic relationship in the long run - even if it's awkward at first. Plus, you'll feel relieved that you can be open about it with her.
I think it's really common and okay to feel these things, as we feel like shit and others are so freaking put together. :P

But.. I've had my fair share of crazier-than-me Ts and I have to say, it's always best to have someone help us who is in a good place in life.

There's a thing in therapy, particularly when the therapeutic relationship is strengthened that is setting an example. We look up to our Ts, idealized them and depend on them for guidance. It's most natural they feel inclined to set an example, to act like an anchor on how Normal life can be when we're amidst turbulence and chaos.
If you decide to be honest about this, it may even go away of all things, healing it in a healthy dialogue-y way, instead of expecting your T to suffer to be more human in your eyes.

 

[MyWillow]

My new psydoc slept in today and was late to my 9am. I told her it was nice to know she was only human too and we had a good giggle. It was such a small silly thing but was surprisingly disarming and I think it helped me be a bit more open.

I think @Sietz has great advice.