Exam. blargh. how do you manage the after effects?

[EveHarrington]

I’m having kidney issues. Today saw the urologist, and had a physical exam. I knew it was coming and hoped I’d be ok. I didn’t take any anxiety meds because I seriously hate the after effects. It’s no toss up....as bad as I can get after these exams, it still doesn’t come near the withdrawal effects of benzodiazepines.

I’ve been doing everything I can think of to get grounded. I did a few things around town to stay active. I’m at the library now trying to engage my brain in various ways. I contacted a few friends but they are busy. Soon I’m going to get some food if only I can engage my brain enough to make a decision on what I want to eat! I thought of going home and going to bed but I don’t want to sleep just yet.

How do you take care of yourself after such an exam? (Urological, gyn, etc) I guess I am looking for responses from CSA/sexual abuse/assault survivors who struggle with these types of medical appointments.

Thanks!

 

[Sweetleaf]

I've only done one exam since I freed myself from my abuser - I did it with the help of xanax though, and pretty much, I was kinda derealized, kinda not so there. I got home, wrote about it, went outside of the house, went to a physical piano i have access to, and played it for a while (this was a good distraction), went home, took sleep aids (already was dead tired from the xanax - I am not too fond of the effects, and aftereffects of benzos either) and slept 15 hours. I felt like sleeping long was going to be the best option.

Woke up the next day feeling extreme and panicky, but it was also a monthly anniversary of something horrible (ugh, I hate that it has to be every f*cking month) so I don't know how much the exam contributed to that, but I also did feel gross still the next day. I had been dreading it for a while, so I was glad to have it over and done with, but having to have your downstairs examined just sucks. Bleh.

I basically did all my regular self care stuff, that I do when I'm otherwise panicky or having a hard time, from whatever reasons, or at least I tried to.

There is another, easier exam coming up on the 30th now. Consult for surgery to fix the problem found/diagnosed in the first exam.
:eek::sick::nailbiting:
I'll be damned if I let my PTSD stop me from fixing something that's been bothering me pretty badly, though. It actually pisses me off that this is a problem. It pisses me off I can't just go in and get medical shit done down there like everyone else, without it being such a f*cking ordeal. Like this will seriously improve my quality of life in the future, if I get it done. It will almost certainly trigger the f*cking shit out of me but I just want to get it f*cking OVER with. Who f*cking knows when I'll stop being triggered by shit, no point holding it off indefinitely and never fixing the issue.

I'm interested in seeing what other people have to say, I'm sure a lot of us could use help with handling triggering exams.

 

[Aqua Anita]

I’m having kidney issues. Today saw the urologist, and had a physical exam. I knew it was comin...

Im a csa survivor with c ptsd and find all dr appointments trigger dissociation so need to educate my dr, you can do your own paps now and it's super easy.

 

[Hopeforlife]

Hi @EveHarrington I hope you manage to find ground. It’s such a difficult exam for even anyone without PTSD but with it’s a whole new ball game. I will be honest that I just disassociate through the whole thing. I have had a few issues in the last year and had a few exams. It does take a while to bring myself out of it though. I normally make sure I am busy. Or I take a cold shower sort of helps snap me into the present. But sometimes I do just be kind to myself. Chill out on the sofa with Netflix etc and just distract myself. I am still learning how to cope with everything.

 

[Harmonics]

I’m having kidney issues. Today saw the urologist, and had a physical exam. I knew it was comin...

I just dissociate. I always have. Afterward, I try to make sure I have some alone time at home to try to recover. I can't go to work because I just can't function normally for a while. My doctor never asked about my trauma history, and I never offered any information. I don't think I would want to discuss it with them. If my reaction afterward is too bad, I schedule an appointment with the T to work through it.

 

[RunForever]

How do you manage making these appts? I know I need to go and have talked to my Dr about it but still can't bring myself to do it

 

[Sweetleaf]

How do you manage making these appts? I know I need to go and have talked to my Dr about it but still can't bring myself to do it

For me, it's all been pretty much naivety about the fact they were all going to be difficult.
At the last minute, is when I'd start getting panicky.

Like, at my EKG. I was cool as a cucumber, until I was in the room and she wanted me to lift my shirt up to put on the stickers. Then it was panic mode, I became a shaky mess.

I didn't realize an EKG would be a difficult thing for me.

I figured the genital exams would be really difficult, and just went through with them out of concern for my body and health. For the first one, xanax, for the 2nd, diazepam, and it wasn't enough. I figured that it'd be easier because it was a simpler exam. noooope.

I had a blocked milk duct recently - couldn't bring myself to talk to my doc about it. It's resolved now, but, my breasts have received a lot of abuse, it's been f*cking -years- since anyone but me treated them nicely. I couldn't bring myself to get any kind of breast exam, or even just a f*cking look at it. I even was sitting there, in my doctor's office, nipple in pain, irritated, and couldn't bring myself to get her to take a look.

I've talked with her about my PTSD and she said that if I ever feel like a medical thingy is going to be triggering or make me anxious/panicky, she can give me xanax for it to help get me through.

It does help a lot, too. At least in my experience. Makes it a lot foggier, less difficult to handle the aftermath.

 

[Starfire]

I’m having kidney issues. Today saw the urologist, and had a physical exam. I knew it was coming and hoped I’d be ok. I didn’t take any anxiety meds because I seriously hate the after effects. It’s no toss up....as bad as I can get after these exams, it still doesn’t come near the withdrawal effects of benzodiazepines.

I’ve been doing everything I can think of to get grounded. I did a few things around town to stay active. I’m at the library now trying to engage my brain in various ways. I contacted a few friends but they are busy. Soon I’m going to get some food if only I can engage my brain enough to make a decision on what I want to eat! I thought of going home and going to bed but I don’t want to sleep just yet.

How do you take care of yourself after such an exam? (Urological, gyn, etc) I guess I am looking for responses from CSA/sexual abuse/assault survivors who struggle with these types of medical appointments.

Thanks!

Just had a head MRI. Didn't know they put a cage type thing over my face then screw your head so it can't move. Being held immobile is terrifying to us. We made it thru but afterwards...... As you did we went out in public. For us that requires us to get our act together. Usually go to grocery store cuz there we don't have to interact with people, can stay as long as we need. Then we went out to an open space. That's a nature space. We walked looking at plants, trees, rocks etc. Then sat by the river. All of a sudden we just let out this ungodly scream. Picked up some rocks & threw then as hard as we could at the river. Later at home we took time to fix foods to eat. Not all healthy!! Some weird combinations! Hand washed dishes. All helps us stay in the present. Cleaning, organizing...like going thru mail or sorting laundry.. our stuff keeps us in the here and now. Showered...perhaps making us clean. IMHO in dissociating there is an energy....sometimes quiet...that has to get out before curling up & soothing.

 

[RunForever]

Well I went. Pushed through. I just wanted it over with. It was a disaster, I was a total mess. Guess my Dr now knows how bad things are....
I feel so empty and horrible...