really bad day with my mental health

[yellow rose]

Really bad day I dont understand why I have felt so bad today. I have been crying on and off all day
I have felt in really dark places today and felt really distressed earlier
I just am tired of keep fighting this mental illness that is here because of chronic trauma and I do not understand the hurt or the pain that life keeps making me feel
i have been crying so much becayse for some reason I just feel so emotional today and so angry with everything
I even did yoga earlier to help myself yet it did not help me enough
What do people do when they feel this bad
I have been told to self soothe when I feel bad but I do sometimes .
It is just I am tired of all these emotions and feelings coming up
Just felt like a mess today

 

[MrMoonlight]

I am so sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless today. You aren't alone @yellow rose . Please don't judge yourself, it's all about loving yourself right now. Could you treat yourself as if you were a friend or your younger self? Maybe some breathing, meditation or distraction? When I feel that way I tend to bed down and isolate. If you are doing that maybe go outside and count the different sounds...etc..smell grass, flowers...Sucking on a hard candy can be self-soothing because it imitates nursing as a child...

Please keep yourself safe.

 

[Wendell_R]

When I am very down I try to get outside to walk and exercise. I hope the emotions pass and you feel better.

 

[yellow rose]

I cant get outside for walks either really as I struggle to do things outside
even the fact that I struggle to get out upsets me
as I never really see any other scenes other than the garden
stil sitting here a little depressed

I am so sorry you are feeling so low and hopeless today. You aren't alone @yellow rose . Please don't judge yourself, it's all about loving yourself right now. Could you treat yourself as if you were a friend or your younger self? Maybe some breathing, meditation or distraction? When I feel that way I tend to bed down and isolate. If you are doing that maybe go outside and count the different sounds...etc..smell grass, flowers...Sucking on a hard candy can be self-soothing because it imitates nursing as a child...

Please keep yourself safe.

I have been yes. I am not like this every day but for some reason today i have been
I had a difficult trauma therapy session on wednesday and I dont know
sometimes my moods are all over the place
sometimes I am calmer and more ppeaceful
but today hasnt been that day
I also been getting really angry and worked up about how isolated I am and how I do not have friends and how I cant even have walks outside because of the way I feel.
I been getting angry and upset alot today been feeling like a little child who is being denied everything that she wants
and i have been in lots of pain
I do meditate sometimes but I havent today

 

[Skywatcher]

In moments like these, my t reminds me to use all my tools. Check out eft tapping on YouTube. Tapping is necessary to my self care. Also, clean the house. Draw. Exercise in intense short bursts. Like pushups, sit ups, jog in place.
Write your feelings down and then tear them up and ground. Invite a friend over. Be outside. I know how hard all of this can be when you feel down. It is hard to get moving and doing, but once you do, you will feel better.

 

[yellow rose]

I use eft on myself sometimes. Yeah my therapist also uses Eft. It is just sometimes I forget to use my tools. And sometimes the tools I use arent enough for example. Like earlier I got into a complete state, I felt like I was in a horrible trap and in darkness and I felt in the past a bit.
Yeah I do do things sometimes like exercise and cleaning and drawing sometimes. It is just I have not felt like trying much today . I also don;t have any friends which depresses me. I also can only go in the garden as I struggle to go outside because of my problems. So I feel very isolated and it doesnt help things at all.
I do do eft sometimes for my self care but sometimes I do not. Some days I do not do as much as other days for my self care. Like today I have been getting so angry and worked up at my problems and the pain in my life that part of me has felt like giving up. I actually sometimes don't feel I deserve anything as I have been through so much since being small that it is hard for me to believe I am allowed the good. I find things to be incredibly difficult sometiems. I have trauma therapy tomorro and I don't want to face it anymore

 

[shimmerz]

Like today I have been getting so angry and worked up at my problems and the pain in my life that part of me has felt like giving up.

Even though I feel angry, I truly and profoundly love and accept myself.....

You know the drill. Me too. Used to be a very long time that I couldn't do EFT on myself because of the dark and twisted shit inside of me.

Biggest help to me during days like that now is to get up and move. Anywhere. Anyhow. I struggle with going outside as well. Can't walk outside (trauma issues). I know how super challenging it is. All of it.

Do you have any self care stuff that you do when you wake in the morning or for times that this is a problem?

Have you contacted your T to tell him/her that you are having a hard time after your last appt?

Self care kicks ass when I am in moods like this.

 

[EveHarrington]

I've read a number of your posts and understand how difficult life is for you right now.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. Im not trying to push drugs, but I think they really can help us get to a better place as they can let our systems relax so that treatment is more effective and healing can move forward. :hug:

 

[hithere]

when I have days like this it often is related to something that was stirred up in therapy. It needs to come out. If I don't connect the dots to what was back there then it seems to go on and on and on with no relief and ends up being one spiral after another.If I do get a connection to what "back there" wants to come out, I let the grief run itself and remind myself of positive things about myself. I deny "anger" a lot and don't believe I am capable of anger (which is certainly not true--LOL!) and when I'm denying that I can be swung around and around with dark thinking. If I can connect to the anger then I can direct it where belongs and where it needs to go. Sometimes I can't figure out, just feel lost, alone, and like a bad person. Eventually it lifts. sometimes a benzo will get me out of this state, but I use them very very rarely. Things have to be really bad for me to use benzos, but I'm glad I have them if needed.

 

[Skywatcher]

Please tell your trauma T all of this. T will probably need to focus on stabilizing you before you dig any deeper.

 

[yellow rose]

Stabalising me? Could you clarify.

 

[TTC18]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have any good pointers, but noticed that you said a lot that you forget to use your tools. Can you make yourself an emergency kit, sort of? A list of what to do if you're feeling really low, maybe some things that smell pretty, and a worry stone, and things to treat yourself nice, so you remember that you deserve to feel good? I hope you feel better soon.