i wish i could have a good dream

[brokenpony]

i don’t have nightmares every night but i can’t remember the last time i had a truly positive dream.

if they aren’t nightmares (lately of being chased/hunted or looking down to see i am gravely injured), they’re anxiety dreams about work or relationships. like, forgot to go to class all year and it’s final exam day, that kind of thing. which is still kind of a nightmare, but it’s not disturbing or threatening, so let’s say it’s not.

sometimes they’re neutral or boring. but never happy.

life is so stressful and i’m suffering in reality. i’d love to have a pleasurable or joyful dream every once in awhile. but that feels impossible now. because dreams reflect your insides and mine are rotten.

is it the same with you? do ‘normal’ people actually have joyful dreams? do you ever have the stray good dream? or did you start having them after getting your ptsd under better control?

 

[EveHarrington]

Many people have normal dreams but simply don’t remember them.

 

[grit]

By making this wish, writing it down, and spending some energy to visualize means to some extent, maybe it will happen. I hope you have a beautiful dream tonight.

 

[blackemerald1]

@brokenpony I used to have disaster dreams... I still do. If I get a recurring dream and I am worried about it happening again I have found a solution and it works for me.

Whilst awake I think of a way to escape the disaster or injury or whatever. It doesn't matter how improbable my dream is or my solution - I think about it repeatedly during waking hours and then just before I go to sleep I think about it one last time (the solution).

I've noticed that my improbably and ridiculous way out of the dream works. I will have the nightmare etc., and dream my solution and wake up not so anxious. In fact sometimes I wake up and think wow! I'm just fine if that should ever happen. lol..

So with your exam scenario. I suppose dreaming that you are a super duper smart person who can pass the exam without studying anyway might work. Or, that your hands acquired some magic skill and knew all the answers and wrote down everything perfectly without any further input from your brain or study and you thereby passed the exam at 100%.

I know tear me down. But it works! It doesn't need to be sensible just a solution.

 

[Survivor3]

Yup I get that. I haven't had a 'pleasant ' dream as long as I can remember. It's got too the point where I'm questioning whether they are nightmares or hallucinations. Frequently about my past and full of insecurities and fear, sometimes violent in nature which is distressing.

 

[blackemerald1]

Frequently about my past and full of insecurities and fear, sometimes violent in nature which is distressing.

So do you feel safe now? Is there any IRL reason that you should feel fear or be concerned about violence being inflicted on you now?

 

[Survivor3]

So do you feel safe now? Is there any IRL reason that you should feel fear or be concerned about violence being inflicted on you now?

I don't know what IRL is but yes I still feel in fear. Some stuff is in the past but I was bullied so badly that I think people will carry it on in the future.

 

[blackemerald1]

@Survivor3 - I'm really sorry IRL means 'in real life' meaning not in the virtual but in your real and current circumstances.

Who do you believe will bully you now in your real life? Do you still see these people that hurt you?

 

[Survivor3]

@Survivor3 - I'm really sorry IRL means 'in real life' meaning not in the virtual but in your real and current circumstances.

Who do you believe will bully you now in your real life? Do you still see these people that hurt you?

No I don't see them so it's less likely they can do it.

 

[blackemerald1]

So you said ^^ that you are not sure if you are dreaming or having hallucinations.

I stand to be corrected here but a hallucination happens when you are awake I think and obviously the dreams you are speaking of happen when you are asleep.

I know sometimes we can dream we are awake.

Are you talking about dreams where you believe you are awake and horrible things happen?

 

[Survivor3]

It all happens when I'm asleep. But its so vivid it feels like I'm awake at the time. I end up getting what could only be described as an adrenaline rush and I wake up completely startled.

 

[blackemerald1]

So these are night terrors - which are terrible and seem very real. They often do have a physical element to them...sweating, limbs thrashing etc., I know them.

Can you keep a journal of them? Write down each and every one after each nightmare. Sometimes that can take the sting out of them and strangely they may decrease. I have no idea why but that can work.

It's also very helpful if you can show or read these journal entries of your dreams to your T.