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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

I haven’t tried that one!

Honestly it makes me think of Helen, who was on it, and was insanely happy while she was cutting her legs open — she had a long history so I just kinda told her she shouldn’t do that and got her to quit, then told her I was going to get a nurse. It was a good time

I’m not able to take antidepressants but I suppose that’s not one? Probably pretty common as well

Is relying on medicine a maladaptive coping skill? I’ve seen people use service dogs badly before — actually she was a fake service dog so there was no way it was going to be useful to work her. Caused me to have my first decision ever to cut out a friend from my life. Hated that self centered narcissist bitch (such an adult world, wow)
 
Cool!

I have concerns since I did so badly without one

At least my hormones are back. I refuse to talk about sexual issues with my therapist (for now) so the hormones help with that too. And also preventing me from getting cancer from not having periods for a year and then suddenly having one that lasts nine months and leaves me anemic

I don’t think I go to the doctor when I need to, haha. I go yearly. I keep getting high medical bills from cancer scares, but the ovary one was legit. It burst, was pretty painful. They told me that’s what it feels like when a man is hit in the testes hard enough to make one rupture a little. My friend Austin took me to the hospital and was excited to tell the story of how something like that happened to him, haha. He was the same guy who held my service dog when I could walk and EMTs had to carry me. I should text him and see how he’s doing, very good guy

Actually yeah, the EMTs t
 
...told me to see a doctor more often when things stop working suddenly.

I didn’t even go to the emergency room after my TBI because of the fear of high medical bills. Probably from when my mom told me that she was angry because I didn’t tell her

Actually no, I’m finally getting regulated, I won’t go there right now :)
 
First, it's not a skill or a psychological coping mechanism, or a behavior.
It's chemically stabilizing the brain in pill form when we can't do it by ourselves.
Like my psychosis wouldn't go away without medication, right? Same with any other bad-enough-mental-ailment.
Oh, that makes sense

Right, that’s why people use pills when learning how to cope with trauma. Stability. Like my pain pills after an injury
 
When we aren't taken care of properly, we have to learn to take care of ourselves...
It took me so long to know how to schedule a proper medical appointment.

That thing recently about me and the doctor just laughing about all the crap I've been told it's because I didn't know how to choose doctors before.
I learned after psychosis.
 
I learned after psychosis.
That makes me sad for you

It took me so long to know how to schedule a proper medical appointment.
Weirdly I learned how to do this when I was 13. My mom would silence me out of fear but it enabled me to get to a hospital and finally report my father.

We tried to earlier — my older sister, my little brother (telling a teacher that his dad was touching him inappropriately), and me. Child Services was called and Willy the big black man my dad was terrified of. He made us clean the house and refused to let us talk to Willy alone. My mom told all of us that getting outside help was not the right answer, because the government could only cause more hurt. Pointed out what happened to my cousins, one of whom I bottle fed and loved but whose foster parents won’t let us meet. Said we’d end up raped by a foster parent. (Who tells a 13-year-old that?) I got mad and got myself to a hospital to be safely locked in.

I’ve been good at knowing when to go since, I just don’t schedule the appointment because my mom will accuse me of trying to get attention, and of wasting money, and if I do go she wants every detail about why. Which makes me think of Brandi and then I go mute.

When I was in university and had free health care for a bit, I went for even minor things. It was great

Here, no. Couldn’t dream of it. Sometimes my mom comments that I’m getting too much therapy, confusingly while she’s telling me that I should get as much as I need.

I wonder how Willy is. He was neat
 

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