Other Looking for Torture Survivors

[frogthroat]

This is pretty to the point but I'm looking for people who survived extreme sadism. If you survived a kidnapping situation or various physical and sexual torture I'm interested in how you manage. There's no judgement here. I won't tell you what I think you should or shouldn't be. You can be as honest, angry, sad, and confused as you want to be. I will respond to you as honestly as possible.

 

[frogthroat]

Bondage, extreme rapes, beatings, and being shown violent sexual acts against animals and dead bodies. Abuse with a satanic intent I'm here to listen and learn. I'm treading water too. Please feel free to express yourself.

 

[Teamwork]

I'm not really managing. Too many flashbacks. Psychologist says they are not real as in not really there but i never understand how the hell taht can be true when i see them

 

[frogthroat]

I'm not really managing. Too many flashbacks. Psychologist says they are not real as in not really there but i never understand how the hell taht can be true when i see them

Does that mean they do or don't believe you?

 

[Friday]

Yep.

This is one of the two things I don’t talk about, as a rule, and will probably go hit up the whisky when I’m done to kind of elbow it back into the box.

I generally think of it as torture-lite, since I survived and have all my working parts in mostly working order. Minus a few teeth, I didn’t really need, anyway. Some of the people I was with didn’t and don’t.

Very boring/classic interrogation stuff, for the most part. Gang rape. Car batteries. A few broken bones. Snapped fingers and the ends ground against each other. Drowning. Extreme cold / Hot. Starvation. Drugs. Isolation/Confinement. Dental. Death. Degradation. Betrayal. Watching. Listening. Loss. Nothing super fancy.

 

[frogthroat]

Yep.

This is one of the two things I don’t talk about, as a rule, and will probably go hit up the whisky when I’m done to kind of elbow it back into the box.

I generally think of it as torture-lite, since I survived and have all my working parts in mostly working order. Minus a few teeth, I didn’t really need, anyway. Some of the people I was with didn’t and don’t.

Very boring/classic interrogation stuff, for the most part. Gang rape. Car batteries. A few broken bones. Snapped fingers and the ends ground against each other. Drowning. Extreme cold / Hot. Starvation. Drugs. Isolation/Confinement. Dental. Death. Degradation. Betrayal. Watching. Listening. Loss. Nothing super fancy.

Yes, all this shit and my little toes are broken from being snapped. I don't want to be a victim and I know you don't either. Making it normal makes it normal. It's a new normal.

 

[frogthroat]

You are safe in this thread: male or female. I have witnessed and partaken in the rape of boys over fear of death. It happens to men and women. Yes bondage and webcams were involved. I was 12 was a victim of incest beforehand.

 

[frogthroat]

Yep.

This is one of the two things I don’t talk about, as a rule, and will probably go hit up the whisky when I’m done to kind of elbow it back into the box.

I generally think of it as torture-lite, since I survived and have all my working parts in mostly working order. Minus a few teeth, I didn’t really need, anyway. Some of the people I was with didn’t and don’t.

Very boring/classic interrogation stuff, for the most part. Gang rape. Car batteries. A few broken bones. Snapped fingers and the ends ground against each other. Drowning. Extreme cold / Hot. Starvation. Drugs. Isolation/Confinement. Dental. Death. Degradation. Betrayal. Watching. Listening. Loss. Nothing super fancy.

It wasn't military though. I have no military background. It's a child porn background. Sorry, I can't relate to military people.

 

[Ronin]

... Ask me in January.

Right now we are bit in the Tended to be f*cked up, years long, season.
As in I am not touching anything with a 10ft pole, it is already too many bodies, grief, countries wrong, protocols wrong, pain is just weakness leaving the body I am fiiine, flies, and other half BS training mottos told to self to suppress things .... and other great things in my head. Happier leaving it to nightmares and pretending that was not my life.

 

[Teamwork]

Does that mean they do or don't believe you?

Believes me. Just wants me to understand its not currently there, but I can see it so when its happening, to me , it is currently there.

 

[frogthroat]

Believes me. Just wants me to understand its not currently there, but I can see it so when its happening, to me , it is currently there.

My T is like this too. She is like THE PAST IS THE PAST. She knows how traumatized I am but she believes I can pull through. I'm sure your T is similar not wanting to get into the nitty gritty of it but wanting to teach you skills to go on.

 

[frogthroat]

... Ask me in January.

Right now we are bit in the Tended to be f*cked up, years long, season.
As in I am not touching anything with a 10ft pole, it is already too many bodies, grief, countries wrong, protocols wrong, pain is just weakness leaving the body I am fiiine, flies, and other half BS training mottos told to self to suppress things .... and other great things in my head. Happier leaving it to nightmares and pretending that was not my life.

Aww Ronin. I don't know military anything but I feel for you. Your feelings matter though. You're a person not a machine - you and Friday both. I want to explain how this matters but I'm drunk. I'm in tons of pain and I don't want to lie. The dehumanization part of it is hard.