How often do you have flashbacks on an average day?

[Abstract]

It sounds like maybe the good in this abusive relationship is sucking you in again. I wonder if it would help to discuss that aspect of the relationship in therapy now? The good doesn't float off on its own as the bad is part of it. You deserve a new reality without the bad. You don't need to have one to get the other.

How do you think the attachment stuff is hooking into this? What does attachment mean to you. Have you discussed that with your t? Are you trying to ground and stay present?

 

[meander]

It sounds like maybe the good in this abusive relationship is sucking you in again. I wonder if it would help to discuss that aspect of the relationship in therapy now? The good doesn't float off on its own as the bad is part of it. You deserve a new reality without the bad. You don't need to have one to get the other.

How do you think the attachment stuff is hooking into this? What does attachment mean to you. Have you discussed that with your t? Are you trying to ground and stay present?

I think he was my attachment and every relationship is linked into any interest and affection shown leads to sex- simple as that- sex I want to take part in so now I think of everyone who is nice to me as a potential sexual encounter/opportunity/task.
I don’t really get the attachment styles or how they link here.
I am deeply attached to my T at the moment in anxious- preoccupied even though I deeply don’t trust her.
Is this chaos normal?
The flashbacks are just like take your pick- they sit in the corners waiting to take over or just sit in the shadows whispering...

 

[MrMoonlight]

I only consider episodes where I'm lost and running for my life to be flashbacks.
Is that an accurate standard?

 

[meander]

Yes I know what you mean, the ones where you’re in it, doing it, being it, feeling it etc. I’d agree. But the flashes can be frequent, not necessarily long for me but they can drag me into a longer one.

 

[Friday]

I only consider episodes where I'm lost and running for my life to be flashbacks.
Is that an accurate standard?

Not really... as flashbacks don’t have to be total immersion, movie-style / nightmare whilst awake... but any of the 5 senses + emotions relived.

Most of my flashbacks are movie-style, so I didn’t know that’s actually the far more rare version. From what I’ve read the more common variety of flashbacks are single sense (like smelling smoke, when there isn’t any) or multiple senses, but not total immersion.

Relived? Flashback.
Remembered? Intrusive thoughts / memories / ruminations.

 

[meander]

Not really... as flashbacks don’t have to be total immersion, movie-style / nightmare whilst awake... but any of the 5 senses + emotions relived.

Most of my flashbacks are movie-style, so I didn’t know that’s actually the far more rare version. From what I’ve read the more common variety of flashbacks are single sense (like smelling smoke, when there isn’t any) or multiple senses, but not total immersion.

Relived? Flashback.
Remembered? Intrusive thoughts / memories / ruminations.

Then it’s 24hrs a day for me...

 

[MrMoonlight]

That's incredibly helpful @Friday . Having a precise way to describe and monitor helps me know which way I'm heading. Thanks, I'm copying your post to my handwritten journal.

 

[Abstract]

Took me an awful lot of time and research to truly figure that one out. Its hard to put into words and there is a lot of misinformation out there. I almost always have at least some small element of the present in there. Even if I can't recognise it at the time.

Meander, it sounds to me like you are in a state of mind where you are desperate for connection and therefore even the abuse is in some way a reminder of a type of connection even though it was an abusive one. Is that what you are saying? I guess its like someone who stays in an abusive relationship excusing the bad to get "love" expect it of course isn't love. It sounds to me like you need to truly work on what a healthy and unhealthy relationship is even if you havent experienced the latter. How diligently are you working on grounding? If you are in the past that much your sense of the present is probably very distorted.

 

[EveHarrington]

I only consider episodes where I'm lost and running for my life to be flashbacks.
Is that an accurate standard?

I’ve never had full immersion flashbacks. Mine involve just one or a few senses. I’ve never been fully in the past.

 

[meander]

Meander, it sounds to me like you are in a state of mind where you are desperate for connection and therefore even the abuse is in some way a reminder of a type of connection even though it was an abusive one. Is that what you are saying?
How diligently are you working on grounding? If you are in the past that much your sense of the present is probably very distorted.

Yes I think so- as in any physical contact results in arousal followed by fear/guilt/shame- the same with emotional connection, anyone giving me any kindness or gentleness sends me through the motions and I think I just dissociate- everything just goes foggy I lose my train of thought and can’t focus on anything.
I had only be using grounding techniques for the full blown reliving flashbacks. (I feel like one is sitting on my shoulder waiting at the moment!)
How do we live normal present lives? I feel like I’ve gone backwards!

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

For me that's hard to pin down. Some days I get none. Other days many. Sometimes triggers cause them. And off course I get night terrors but I don't get many of those now. I used to get flashbacks back to back some time ago, same with night terrors.

I have found that changing lifestyle makes a huge difference. I have objects that are easy to spot (like paper with pastel colors) all over my home. I have a clock in my bedroom that makes a ticking sound. Both looking at it and hearing it helps me get grounded. I try to live with ways to get and stay grounded around me. Staying grounded can eliminate many flashbacks.

I must be doing something right, as I am right in the middle of work with my T that opens up my trauma in a big way. But I seem to be managing it now, in part because of the changes. Without those changes I probably would have been in the hospital many times over.

 

[meander]

For me that's hard to pin down. Some days I get none. Other days many. Sometimes triggers cause them. And off course I get night terrors but I don't get many of those now. I used to get flashbacks back to back some time ago, same with night terrors.

I have found that changing lifestyle makes a huge difference. I have objects that are easy to spot (like paper with pastel colors) all over my home. I have a clock in my bedroom that makes a ticking sound. Both looking at it and hearing it helps me get grounded. I try to live with ways to get and stay grounded around me. Staying grounded can eliminate many flashbacks.

I must be doing something right, as I am right in the middle of work with my T that opens up my trauma in a big way. But I seem to be managing it now, in part because of the changes. Without those changes I probably would have been in the hospital many times over.

Wow this is amazing thank you for sharing, my T keeps reminding me about practising grounding. I’m only 2 months in with her and it’s tough as it’s all new, I also have a lot of life changes on my plate which impact my awareness and I get caught off guard.
Thank you for sharing this.