Why Did You Choose That Username And/Or That Avatar (Or No Avatar At All)?

[pandora]

I picked pandora because I knew when I started here I was opening up a huge box...like a pandoras box. I have had a lot of traumas and have been told that I should write a book because I have lived through a lot in 38 years. At the time it just felt right and was a great fit for me.

 

[Cin]

Jacinta, Marlene and Ayesha - such beautiful names.

Sorry if this sounds really stupid, but did your parents give you those names? I ask because I spent half my life resenting the clumsy, ugly name my parents stuck on me, before I found ways to deal with that resentment effectively.

Athena

Yes, Jacinta was the name my parents gave me.

 

[AthenaErdmann]

You can buy all those pretty ones at the toy store and I have it on good authority they are no maintenance ...

"No maintenance" - has this authority ever tried to clean a teddy bear that a kid has puked on? :smile:

 

[AthenaErdmann]

...my forum name ... has an I in it instead of a Y because I like to be different, never one to follow the crowd even when I was young.

That made me smile. A more serious question, though: do you feel you had or have a choice - could you follow the crowd, if you chose to? I often feel that I am so out of touch with "normal", that I don't even recognize "the crowd", even less where it might be headed. :doh:

... my avatar ... is a Native American Dream Catcher ... being a mixture of purples and lilacs it also matched my forum name.

Beautiful, both the name and the avatar.

Athena

 

[amethist]

Hi Athena

Would I follow the crowd if I had a choice. Not very often no, only if it was something I wanted to do, then maybe I would go along. This possibly stems back to when I was young and expected to go along with every thing that was going on. My question to that was, "But why?, just because they were doing something did not mean I had to. Maybe that is why I was sometimes called awkward, rebellious and got strange looks when I asked to do something different.

I make my own choices when I can, even if I am wrong, still my own choices. I am not prefect by any means, but I am honest, what you see is what you get, type of thing.

The Amethyst is a great healing crystal, as is Lavender Essential Oil. Both a similar colour, maybe why I am interested and use different types of healing, not just go along with what the doctor's say is best for my husband.

I have not let him down so far.

Amethist

 

[James B.]

this is kinda fun...

My avatar is intented to be taken at 'face value', nothing deep or mysterious; I have taken a helluva beating and...still hold the dove, have never in my life hit, grabbed or shoved anyone in harm - ever. No physical fights, no violence and no throwing things with two minor exceptions, both a long long time ago.

Fighting ain't for me, too easy to break a bone in one's hand, or get an eye put out. I took up sports, and channeled the adrenaline/aggression into that; the backs of my hands are literally covered with scar tissue from rock climbing. Self harm? It may have very well served that purpose, and satisfied that "need" in a peer accepted manner. Looking back a couple decades? It now seems mildly abberant but I undertsand why...

Am reminded of a scene in a Charles Bukowski short story; he's spent the night on a car seat in a junkyard, the junkyard man's son finds him, and starts beating on "the dirty bum" with a baseball bat, while the kids dad gives him encouagement. Bukowski just gets up - oh, he can feel the blows, you bet - he just gets up and walks away. No acknowledgement, no outrage. Just walks off...

Picked the name because its just an easy name for a guy...I need to write about events including others so some anonymity is needed. Plus I feel a tiny bit less inhibited writing.

:-)

 

[popeye]

I picked Popeye because I have always looked up to the cartoon popeye as a role model. He always fought for good or the love of his woman. Even though he was smaller than Bluto he always won the fight. I was always smaller than my brothers and believed that someday I would win my fight. He was a hero no matter what episode he was in. Plus I have seen alot of the lost episodes that were banned from Television where he fought the Japanese during world war 2 and the Germans, there are even episodes that were banned for the language used.

Basically Popeye was and is my hero and if I ever grow up I want to be like him.

My avatar just fits the name plain and simple.

 

[AthenaErdmann]

I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend.

... I hate winter and often seem to be more depressed when the weather is cold, wet, rainy and dark.

If this is a strong symptom that repeats every winter, maybe you could look into seasonal affective disorder? The acronym - SAD - is quite fitting. We have daylight fluorescent tubes (also called "full spectrum" or "6500 Kelvin"), and since we installed them some 6-7 years ago, the difference in my husband's winters is remarkable, and I have clearly more positive energy during winters, too. We used to be so down, both of us, and even though there are other tough things to deal with now, at least I don't feel like I'm mentally stuck in knee-deep mud from November to February...

And another thing: if you need to do anything late in the evening or during the night, and if weak lighting or red light is not a trigger, please do try a red reading lamp or a red led-light e.g. on a headband (such as are used for nighttime orienteering). Red light does not stop the production of melatonin in our brains, whereas white light does. So using a red light during night time can protect one's ability to go back to sleep. I always read with a red light before falling asleep.

In China I think the cherryblossom represents feminine beauty, while the Japanese use it to symbolise the fragility of life because of it's short flowering time... both of these symbols seemed quite apt at the time (and still do)... When I joined 'PTSD Space' I used photoshop to design an avatar, using a picture of cherryblossom and a fairy and the name... I suppose my name and the avatar have both evolved over time. It's actually quite nice to be reminded of why I chose the name, especially since these days I tend to shorten it to CB!

Thanks for sharing this. It is a warm and encouraging thought, the avatar sort of growing with you, evolving together.

Athena

 

[AthenaErdmann]

My name comes from the dedication in my mother's doctoral thesis. She dedicated it to me, and said that I was the one who showed her the dark, the light and the jagged.

This sounds amazing - I hope that it is a good thing from your point of view, too.

The avatar ... shows the person as having no features, just the silhouette, and I feel this is a good representation of who I am - a shadow, someone who exists, but isn't really there. This is not the only place I use the Jagged Angel thing... so essentially, Jagged is my online persona.

I read your "Refraction" series on Fiction Alley - quite good, I liked it. Both despite and because of it was so dark - if that makes sense?

BTW, you don't seem featureless to me, for what that is worth. At least in your writing you seem to be very much present and alive.

Athena

 

[Jestadud]

Love the thought you put into choosing your name and avatar AthenaErdmann.

For myself this is the only forum I'm a member of and I was coming here a lot before joining, so I was forewarned that I would need a user name and I wanted one that would last, cover many moods and I wouldn't be embarrassed about in a short time. If I remember correctly I don't think I had to think too long before coming up with mine.

Just a dud, covers how I felt when I first came here, like an interloper among people who had suffered real trauma's.

Just a dud, covers how I felt as a person not coping too well in life.

Jesta dud, because I'd always reckoned myself a bit of a joker and now life wasn't so funny anymore.

Jesta dud, because even my therapist referred to my "Sarky humour"

Just a dud, because a dud is very close to my name and many people over the years have shortened it to dud.

Jestadud, is what I want to be again!

My avatar really chose itself, a sad little joker, as soon as I saw I wanted it and for those out there not computer proficient give it a go because I still remember how thrilled I was when I managed to get that little picture up there.

 

[gdf]

Good thread. I chose my initials out of laziness, or maybe it was exhaustion. I joined at a time when I just couldn't really see the light at the end of the tunnel. It stands for my name the first of which is Gina. D is for Denise and the last name I will leave to speculation. When I was a kid I thought Denise sounded too masculine but when I grew older I liked the ring of it. I took to having my full name printed out on my checks. It looks kinda pretty that way. However, I realized the letters GDF can look a little "off color" the first time I was in the chat room. No intent to be vulgar and hopefully it offends no one.

My avatar is my crying teddy bear. I drew him one day in September of 2008 when I was hurting, depressed and mourning my childhood loss of innocence. One day soon I will redraw him without the tears, smiling.

Gina

 

[midi]

Wow, that is pretty cool, gdf. I can't wait to see the redraw!