Dramatics

[Confused_84]

My boyfriend (veteran)was in a car accident during the summer. He was knocked unconscious. We weren’t together at the time but he brings up the head injury a lot and mentioned he thinks he needs a MRI. Yesterday, he was hit in the head and he told me he was dizzy and had to sit out of the game he was playing. Today, he didn’t call me or text me like he normally does and I got upset and actually really worried because of what he’s been saying regarding the head trauma previously and feeling woozy yesterday after getting hit in the head. When he finally contacted me today, he said he was exhausted and had been sleeping (for 20+ hours!). I almost feel like he got me worked up on purpose because yesterday when I talked to him he said he hoped I wasn’t too mad at him for not contacting me too much over the weekend while he was at drill (which he can’t really so I don’t get upset). Now that I am upset with him for not contacting me today and for getting worried, I am the bad guy and being ridiculous. My question is: Do some people with PTSD thrive off the drama? He says he hates it but there seems to be a lot of it, and I almost feel like he ignored me today to stir the pot.

 

[EveHarrington]

So you’re mad at him for being exhausted and sleeping for 20+ hours?

Why do you think he is lying?

My guy slept for about the same, Friday into Saturday. (He doesn’t have PTSD, but was indeed exhausted.)

 

[Confused_84]

His actions have seemed very manipulative and to be able to explain it is difficult. His head trauma from his accident has caused him to conveniently forget certain things. He made a big deal about how he feels so off that he needs an MRI. When I talked to him yesterday, he told me how he got hit in the head again he was feeling woozy and off. But now that I am upset and was worried, he’s telling me I am overreacting and it’s no big deal.

Without the background detail that I could go on and on about, my issue is there’s always drama. He says he hates drama; however he’s the one that causes it.

 

[Mumo]

Did you ever think maybe he got a concussion? And maybe he's telling you it's no big deal because he doesn't want to worry you? A head injury is nothing to play around with. He needs to see a doctor.

 

[Confused_84]

Did you ever think maybe he got a concussion? And maybe he's telling you it's no big deal because he doesn't want to worry you? A head injury is nothing to play around with. He needs to see a doctor.

Yes, that’s exactly what I think happened which is why I was worried when he didn’t contact me today. He has told me that he had 4 concussions when he was in Iraq, plus the one over the summer, and then getting hit in the head yesterday. With being dizzy, I was worried he fell and hit his head again. I don’t think that the head injury is the dramatic part. I’m certain that is legitimate. The dramatics lies with how he communicates with me. He puts forth all this effort and makes a big deal out of it, and then completely ignores me. I text him and ask how he’s doing and to let me know he’s ok because I am worried, and I get nothing from him all day long. So, he says l I am overreacting now and it’s a huge fight which is what I mean by dramatics.

 

[Confused_84]

I think I should add, if it’s ok that I don’t think he’s faking his ptsd or his head injuries. I mean more along the lines of he says he hates dramatic situations, but he seems to create them, and then get angry at the situations. It’s so hard to explain.

 

[EveHarrington]

But if he was sleeping, then he wouldn’t be texting you, right?

 

[Confused_84]

But if he was sleeping, then he wouldn’t be texting you, right?

Yes, this would make sense but I know how he sleeps. Him sleeping for 20+ hours does not make any sense.

 

[Friday]

Yes, this would make sense but I know how he sleeps. Him sleeping for 20+ hours does not make any sense.

Unless, he had say, a recent head injury?

 

[Friday]

I think I should add, if it’s ok that I don’t think he’s faking his ptsd or his head injuries. I mean more along the lines of he says he hates dramatic situations, but he seems to create them, and then get angry at the situations. It’s so hard to explain.

People who are up to their eyeballs in unwanted drama often hate it, and have almost no tolerance for their own, much less anyone else’s

Just look at nearly every person going through a bitter divorce. Sure, it’s all their own creation, but that doesn’t mean they like it.

Add in the fact that PTSD is a stress related disorder / very reactive to stress (see stress cup)? It’s really not uncommon for people to either be living on the brink of disaster... Or feel that way.

 

[shimmerz]

I almost feel like he got me worked up on purpose because yesterday when I talked to him he said he hoped I wasn’t too mad at him for not contacting me too much over the weekend while he was at drill (which he can’t really so I don’t get upset). Now that I am upset with him for not contacting me today and for getting worried, I am the bad guy and being ridiculous. My question is: Do some people with PTSD thrive off the drama? He says he hates it but there seems to be a lot of it, and I almost feel like he ignored me today to stir the pot.

Internal chaos, which is what comes with PTSD, is dramatic. There is no way around that. It takes a lot of therapy, support, perhaps meds, the list goes on and on, to help the chaos recede.

I hear an awful lot of 'I think he is doing this TO me' in your statements. I am going to suggest you look into why you would think that someone you love would 'do that' to you. And no, people with PTSD don't generally wander around trying to ramp everyone else's emotions up. And if he is, or you think he is, then you need to make some decisions I think. I wouldn't want to be with someone I thought was doing stuff to deliberately screw with your head.