I could use prayer. I thought I was doing well and just had a full stress cup from a friend's death-I got urgent calls and texts she wasn't breathing and so drove to her house, just as the coroner was taking her body away. I left a business presentation directly to her house. I got four business contracts all within 24 hours-normally these are spaced out among two months-not in one day, and it's the holidays, and then I had out of town guests for 5 days, too, that I was supposed to be spending time with doing holiday stuff. I did all the hostessing with a cheerful smile, and only ducked out occassionally to work on the computer-boy this prayer request is turning into a story! Sorry. I had a second death and a funeral to deal with yesterday. My friends death is still being investigated by the police, so her body is still in the morgue. On top of that another friend called and she and I agree the we had failed our friend who died. That we could have done more. AND I have a really. really bad cold. and the aches and pains of the cold really pull up trauma memories unfortunately. I wisih they didn't-but when my body aches and feels week, it 's like it is remembering crap and I keep telling myself it's just a cold. Anyway, I have not prepared one thing for Christmas-and now I realize I can't mail packages to my grandchildren now because they won't arrive in time for Christmas. On top of that-my family of origin is so hard to deal with (for me) I feel like I can't host dinner at my house Christmas Day, but If I don't do it, no one will, and then it's even more depressing knowing I have family members all within 5 miles of my house sitting in their homes alone on Christmas Day ignoring each other. Well, I should say ignoring me! haha! Because I did that one year-it was really more depressing than pretending they like me. I was doing well but I just got hit with the lowest of lows and I don't want to go down that slippery slope. So if anyone reads this, please say a prayer for me. I'm not sure how I'm going to get stuff done becaue I just want to climb in bed and nurse my cold and cry. I do have to go work for at least a few hours, but that is stressing me out because I haven't started any Christmas stuff. AT ALL. not even a to-do list! Thank you if you read this and prayed.