Structural Dissociation?

[Skywatcher]

anyone doing emdr? I’m usually pretty good about keeping my boundaries in the set so that I don’t get sucked in, but today I slipped into one of my ep’s. Luckily, my T noticed as she normally does and asked me my age and after a minute of trying to figure it out, I came back. I’m almost to a point where I’m not ashamed of my structure, at least while in therapy. Has anyone else experienced stuff like this?

 

[shimmerz]

Thanks so much @InsertCoinsHere , that is the model I have been working with these years and wasn't sure if something had changed in theory since then. So appreciate your helping with that.

@Skywatcher, I'm sorry I don't. I can't afford EMDR here in Canada.

 

[Ronin]

today I slipped into one of my ep’s.

Ok, beyond a loss of control issue... why is it a problem?

(Just mean this may be one of those Feels threatening, and isn’t, things.
Unless you are a danger to someone, or I mean other you’s are in this case, it’s more about you and where you are emotionally than a risk, isn’t it?)

 

[Skywatcher]

@Ronin Mainly because it happens when I am viewing the trauma. If I slip in, I start reliving it. When we do the calming activities I can easily/safely slip into an ep and it is okay. In general, I would like to be mostly me though. It is just how I feel. I prefer to be in full control. I’m the best option in keeping all parts of me safe.

 

[Ronin]

Makes sense.

So maybe learning how to ground / calm / whichever needed, in pair? Either in something calming both of you, or teaching her to respond to what calms you and hide until you are back up? (Or basically be around when it is safe for her to come out, when she would be assisting, instead of leading and taking life FOR you.)

 

[Wendell_R]

I do EMDR often as ep. We didn't try it though until I had LOTS of resources. The eps feel safe because the resources/calming feels very secure. We leave plenty of time after EMDR for Big Wendell to come back. That takes a while sometimes, and can be emotionally tiring.

 

[Skywatcher]

@Wendell_R i realize this is off topic, but how often do you attend therapy? I seem to do best twice a week, but may need to go back to once a week soon. My ep’s are the ones that struggle with the time away from my T and she knows that. Also, I just now made a realization that when I forget my tools, it may be because ep’s have taken more of a lead. Now I feel like I need to teach them tools.

 

[Wendell_R]

Since I started EMDR, I see my trauma therapist once a week for EMDR, once a week for a follow-up session to deal with anything that came up with EMDR. I've also seen a CBT therapist for a number of years, to deal with addictive/compulsive behavior. I'm doing really well on that stuff, but it turns out my CBT therapist is really great with kids, and I see her every other week. The Littles come out and work with her. I've spent a lot of time "internalizing" my CBT therapist--not in an infatuation sort of way, but as a resource for the ep's to have stability. I did a lot of that last summer when she was away on leave for a number of months.

 

[Skywatcher]

Since I started EMDR, I see my trauma therapist once a week for EMDR, once a week for a follow-up session to deal with anything that came up with EMDR. I've also seen a CBT therapist for a number of years, to deal with addictive/compulsive behavior. I'm doing really well on that stuff, but it turns out my CBT therapist is really great with kids, and I see her every other week. The Littles come out and work with her. I've spent a lot of time "internalizing" my CBT therapist--not in an infatuation sort of way, but as a resource for the ep's to have stability. I did a lot of that last summer when she was away on leave for a number of months.

I wish I could afford that. My T only works part time M-W, sometimes M-Th. This week we did smaller sets on both M and Wed and it worked well. When we had the email response it was 50 percent very helpful and 50 percent keeping me dependent and more anxious, so she took it away. Adult me agrees with this plan, but a few of the ep’s do whatever they can to convince her to go back and she won’t. It’s a huge time waster when they do that. I think she figured out that is happening because my list has moved to the end of the session unless I send it via email ahead of time or I jump right in with it. It is interesting as I become more aware of the avoidance strategies of fragments of my personality.

 

[InsertCoinsHere]

I do EMDR often as ep. We didn't try it though until I had LOTS of resources. The eps feel safe because the resources/calming feels very secure. We leave plenty of time after EMDR for Big Wendell to come back. That takes a while sometimes, and can be emotionally tiring.

What resourcing do you use and how often? I use the container, safe space, mindful letting go imagery and soothing techniques. I also use some core grounding techniques that help. However I appear to continually be flooded by EPs, it’s been pretty intense for a while now and EMDR doesn’t appear to solve the issue. I’m wondering if I need more resourcing to feel safe so I can move forward and process these emotional parts.

 

[Skywatcher]

What resourcing do you use and how often? I use the container, safe space, mindful letting go imagery and soothing techniques. I also use some core grounding techniques that help. However I appear to continually be flooded by EPs, it’s been pretty intense for a while now and EMDR doesn’t appear to solve the issue. I’m wondering if I need more resourcing to feel safe so I can move forward and process these emotional parts.

We focus my trauma on such a small specific moment. That helps keep me from getting overwhelmed. Do you “bring in” people/positive attachment figures to help you? That tends to help me the most, lately.

 

[Wendell_R]

What resourcing do you use and how often?

We've done safe people (real & imagined) of several different kinds: comforting, protecting, and wise. We've done that for each of my EPs, since they have different ideas of who is best. Along the way, we've added some additional safe people, such as those from myptsd who have helped me most. We've also done safe spaces, again for each of the EPs.

Do you “bring in” people/positive attachment figures to help you? That tends to help me the most, lately.

Yup. Me, too!