I told my therapist that recently I wasn't thinking entirely rationally, and one example I gave was my thyroxine. I found myself thinking I shouldn't re-order them, because I didn't need them and was making a nuisance of myself at the doctors by asking. Then I thought I should just stop taking them. Then, most worryingly, that I should take all I had left (14 days worth) at once because then they would be out the way.
Pills generally have been a problem for me. I've od'd on everything available and then put others at risk, and thyroxine itself has problematic links to my past that resulted in me being admitted when I first started them.
I told T that I'd had difficulty re-ordering in the past, and reached the stage where I had to take what remained on alternate days and then miss four days before I could force myself to do it. She pursued this, and ended up advising me to wean myself off altogether, because she had. I knew she was opposed to MH meds, but hadn't realised she was anti- others stuff.
Now I'm confused. I think I needed her to encourage me to take them as medically advised, because anything else plays into my most alluring method of suicide. I have no problem with telling her that, and will do next session.
But I wonder if do need to be on them at all? I'm only on 50mcg, and my GP was hesitant about starting them at all, because thyroxine can increase anxiety. I'm not being monitored very well with it, I had to chase for the blood tests, monts after they were last due, and that translates in my mind to, "doesn't matter, trivial and unnecessary"
So finally, my question is - has anyone else on a low dose of thyroxine stopped it, without medical support, and what were the consequences? I've looked online a bit, but there seems to be no rational discussion, just two polarised views.
Pills generally have been a problem for me. I've od'd on everything available and then put others at risk, and thyroxine itself has problematic links to my past that resulted in me being admitted when I first started them.
I told T that I'd had difficulty re-ordering in the past, and reached the stage where I had to take what remained on alternate days and then miss four days before I could force myself to do it. She pursued this, and ended up advising me to wean myself off altogether, because she had. I knew she was opposed to MH meds, but hadn't realised she was anti- others stuff.
Now I'm confused. I think I needed her to encourage me to take them as medically advised, because anything else plays into my most alluring method of suicide. I have no problem with telling her that, and will do next session.
But I wonder if do need to be on them at all? I'm only on 50mcg, and my GP was hesitant about starting them at all, because thyroxine can increase anxiety. I'm not being monitored very well with it, I had to chase for the blood tests, monts after they were last due, and that translates in my mind to, "doesn't matter, trivial and unnecessary"
So finally, my question is - has anyone else on a low dose of thyroxine stopped it, without medical support, and what were the consequences? I've looked online a bit, but there seems to be no rational discussion, just two polarised views.