Fear of Killing Self Against Will

[Overcoming]

The title alone was clunky to write and likely does not seem clear. I've experienced this before and didn't see it coming again. Last night I became overwhelmed with a feeling that I was going to black out and die by suicide. It is not something I really want to do, but a panic started wherein I felt that I couldn't keep myself safe and then proceeded to fear losing my mind and having to be protected/restrained by someone for safety. Today the feeling has passed for the most part, although I have moments of dissociation. Am I alone in this? Have you found a way to cope with these things?

 

[Chris-duck]

I've had this before, a few years back I had it for weeks at a time basically constantly. All I do now is take myself somewhere basically safe (Bed usually :D or friends house if I'm out at the time, don't need to tell them why yer wanting to visit either), I'm not sure what makes it go away forever and not come back, I just basically tell myself it's happened before and I'm still alive, and I just gotta wait it out.

I'm sorry if that's not helpful. And I hope it eases up soon.

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

Hey Overcoming, you are not alone! I have had a wave over the last couple of days of exactly the same thing. God its horrible. It feels unsurvivable at the time.
I just basically go to bed and hug something and try and whisper soothing thoughts and then just cry. I tell myself that its ok to feel whatever it is that I am feeling and ill be okay. One thing I have started doing of late is whispering that I can bear the pain. It seems to calm down that internal panic cycle.
Mine comes from a strategy that started when I was 11. When things were so bad I kind of gave myself that option in my imagination as a survival mechanism. Its not so helpful now and will hopefully fade out as I work more with my T.
I hope this helps you some x

 

[pink318]

The title alone was clunky to write and likely does not seem clear. I've experienced this before and didn't see it coming again. Last night I became overwhelmed with a feeling that I was going to black out and die by suicide. It is not something I really want to do, but a panic started wherein I felt that I couldn't keep myself safe and then proceeded to fear losing my mind and having to be protected/restrained by someone for safety. Today the feeling has passed for the most part, although I have moments of dissociation. Am I alone in this? Have you found a way to cope with these things?

Hi Overcoming- I have a friend who tried to end her life couple years ago but thank God it did not happen. She was struggling for many years of self-harm until she found a friend she was able to talk to and trust that person with her problems. She also joined a life group in her church and it made a big difference in her life. She learned to sing worship songs when she’s depressed until she experience peace. She’s getting better now and doing well in school.

I hope you can talk to someone you can trust or you can also stay in the forum. We are here for you. I hope you can get the support you need. I pray for peace and you will overcome the loneliness you are facing now. Keep us posted. God bless.