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Just depressed

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loui50

Gold Member
So I'm really struggling right now. I'm depressed and very anxious. I have a lot going on and just really need some support. I tried ECT treatment about a month ago and I only got through 9 of the 12 treatments. As the treatment went on I became more and more anxious about the treatment. It just was too much for me and i quit treatment. My therapist was not happy about my decision to quit and we had a really rough and kind of confrontational session. I struggled for a week thinking she was going to drop me. She assures me she would not do that and we have sort of reconnected i guess you could say. She and the ECT provider are both recommending a treatment called TMS. I dont know if it's for me, but I have a consultation on the 9th of April. The ECT treatment really helped with the depression and I was really happy, had energy, loved life for about 2 weeks. Then it all started crumbling again. I'm not sure what to make of it all. I am so tired. I hate getting up in the morning. I just want to stay in bed. Im angry all the time. I snap at my kids for just being kids. I am in constant need of reassurance from my husband and I think it is annoying him. Im not suicidal but I think about suicide a lot. I hope that makes sense. I dont really have a question, just looking for support I guess. I have a great family but they get tired of hearing about it. I have no in real life friends. I've isolated myself to the point they all gave up. Encouragement appreciated.
 
So I'm really struggling right now. I'm depressed and very anxious. I have a lot going on and just really need some support. I tried ECT treatment about a month ago and I only got through 9 of the 12 treatments. As the treatment went on I became more and more anxious about the treatment. It just was too much for me and i quit treatment. My therapist was not happy about my decision to quit and we had a really rough and kind of confrontational session. I struggled for a week thinking she was going to drop me. She assures me she would not do that and we have sort of reconnected i guess you could say. She and the ECT provider are both recommending a treatment called TMS. I dont know if it's for me, but I have a consultation on the 9th of April. The ECT treatment really helped with the depression and I was really happy, had energy, loved life for about 2 weeks. Then it all started crumbling again. I'm not sure what to make of it all. I am so tired. I hate getting up in the morning. I just want to stay in bed. Im angry all the time. I snap at my kids for just being kids. I am in constant need of reassurance from my husband and I think it is annoying him. Im not suicidal but I think about suicide a lot. I hope that makes sense. I dont really have a question, just looking for support I guess. I have a great family but they get tired of hearing about it. I have no in real life friends. I've isolated myself to the point they all gave up. Encouragement appreciated.
don't give up on yourself. It sounds like you already have a lot of responsibility s with your family. Trying to get treatment like you have can be exhausting itself. Try to do some basic grounding exercises and give yourself 'me' time. You deserve time to yourself to be relaxed and refocus.
 
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